Parents with no friends or family around, how did you survive the first month on barely any sleep?

[Anonymous]

You should be getting longer stretches. I know Taking Cara Babies is politically controversial but the newborn methods (which are not her original ideas anyway) are really good.

I also second the people who said DH needs to do one feeding, pumped or formula. You go down when the baby goes down and DH does the next wake up, feed and back to sleep. A 4-5 hour stretch of sleep will really change your outlook.

[Anonymous]

For the hours your husband is home, you should be sharing baby care (yes, including overnight). My husband did diapers and brought baby to/from me for at least one middle of the night feeding so I just had to sit up, nurse, and go back to sleep.

Otherwise, I agree w/the posters who suggested you spend more time in bed to try to get more sleep. I was often in bed as early as 8pm and as late as noon when I had newborns.

[Anonymous]

My first needed to eat every two hours (and took an hour to eat each time!) per his pediatrician until 6 weeks, so I get it, OP. What I actually did was muddle through miserably until one night I absolutely broke because I hadn't slept more than 45 minutes straight in 6 weeks.

What I wish I had done (and what I would absolutely do if I had another kid who needed to eat so often) is buy some of the premade bottles and have my husband give one so I could get a three-hour stretch of sleep each night. I found that for me, personally, one three-hour stretch and a several crummy one-hour blocks of sleep was enough to sort of get by.

[Anonymous]

Switch to formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hired a night nurse.

Which website/app did you use to find the night nurse and do you mind if I ask how much they charge and how long you ended up using their services for?

Not PP but hired White House Nannies. Life saving for my sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hired a night nurse.

Which website/app did you use to find the night nurse and do you mind if I ask how much they charge and how long you ended up using their services for?

We did night nurse. Asked around and went by word of mouth. Doulas also offer this and there are sites with reviews. You will pay more for doula night services though.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same boat a few weeks ahead. No help at all. It does get better! Here are a few things that helped me:

1) taking cara babies newborn course; and/or a free option is the fb group ‘respectful sleep training/learning. There are sleep foundations that you can begin now to help baby learn to sleep better. Particularly look for baby’s core night sleep, coming up in week 4 or 5 (google core night method)
2) it got so bad, I slept in another room alone for the whole weekend (on a blowup mattress since we don’t have a guest room) and only woke to quickly pump. DH was on night duty for weekend bottle feeding my breast milk.
3) we considered hiring a postpartum doula / night nurse but in the end didn’t for co reasons. Look up any dc doula site and you can find post partum doula or night nurses as well


Good luck. Well all get through this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hired a night nurse.

Which website/app did you use to find the night nurse and do you mind if I ask how much they charge and how long you ended up using their services for?

Not PP but hired White House Nannies. Life saving for my sanity.

A night nurse is prohibitively expensive for many families. White House Nannies are also one of the most expensive childcare options out there.

[Anonymous]

I was a single mom with no family in the area after the second week. The answer is, you just do it. Remind yourself that in a couple of months this will all be in the rear view mirror. Don’t worry if the house is dusted. Let the baby cry every once in a while if you need a shower. I hired a doula to come by every few days for a break, but that’s what your spouse is for.

It will all end eventually.

[Anonymous]

Started to kangaroo carry baby

[Anonymous]

We hired a doula for 1 night a week so we could both sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you go to bed at 7pm, have dh (hanging out in a different room) handle the baby till midnight, then you switch and you take over? We did that with our second and it was enough sleep for dh to cope at work and enough unbroken sleep for me to be able to cope with the rest of the night.

It gives you each 5-6 hrs without interruption.

Yep- we did something similar and it worked out well. Your DH is still a parent and him being back to work doesn’t magically absolve him of all childcare responsibility.

This. You take shifts. Yes maybe the baby has to eat, but you have to sleep in at least a four hour chunk. He takes care of the baby from 6 to 11, then you do overnight. Nap in the morning while the baby naps.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how 2 hour stretches for babe equals one hour of sleep for you

Even if DH works full time he should be able to pitch in something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, maybe I missed it, but why isn't your husband helping more? He should do some formula feedings, but if you're opposed to that, he needs to take over baby care when you're not nursing (weekends, evenings) and he should be doing most of the house cleaning and cooking.

Even if baby is 100% BF, his or her royal highness doesn't need to get the message that there is a boob waiting to fly into his/her mouth 24/7 at the slightest moment to soothe his/her every discomfort, and I say this as a dirty hippy who BF my first until 2. Baby can go 4 hours without harming milk supply once per 24 hour period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby should be sleeping most of the day. You should be resting or napping during this time.

Mine hardly ever slept more than 45 min, and never reliably to the point it made sense to try to sleep with him. Many many many cups of cold coffee in those days.