Husband gave sex ultimatum

[Anonymous]

+1 if he’s willing just use a vibrator.

[Anonymous]

FYI propecia causes permanent ED for some people.

[Anonymous]

On one hand, I would probably have the same reaction as DH. Why would I forgot something I liked for pity sex every few months.

On the other hand, what's the point of having a full head of hair if you aren't getting laid? The only reason men care about their hair is because women care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my.. another Team DH here. You are the one who gave the ultimatum. How you have the gall to complain about his libido when you have given him this treatment for years is beyond me.. Good for you to get a taste of it, you will understand how awful it is to live with someone who has a lower libido and doesn’t care to change it.

He is right to tell you that he is not going to stop taking it if you don’t change your own efforts. The pill actually helps him not suffer from your rejection, in his shoes I would see it as a win win.

Woman here btw. I have been on both sides of this equation (the low libido compared to high libido partner and the higher libido than DH), and I REALLY understand the issue on both sides. It needs to be a compromise, meeting halfway, and the lower libido partner CAN do something to get himself/herself in the mood instead of just magically waiting for it to happen. I have been there and have no patience for those who cannot make the effort to understand their partners’ needs.

I am the higher libido partner and my partner says because of that fact, it's *my* job to woo her and get her in the mood, not hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Propecia is no joke. It absolutely killed my libido.

I think I'm going to get Propecia for my husband, I will tell him his hair is thinning in back.

Ha! Thought the same thing. Is there a pill I can put in DH's coffee that he won't want to have sex again? Asking for a friend, or basically all of my friends

Wow that's really said you and so many of your friends don't want to have sex with your husbands. Did you marry duds?

Oh, we had a great sex life for years. Not his fault. Who wants the same meal for 20 years?

I do it, don't worry, it's easier than dealing with an AP. Still, I am jealous of my lesbian friends who are all happily platonic

I'm jealous of all my gay male friends who are married and nonmonogamous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Propecia is no joke. It absolutely killed my libido.

I think I'm going to get Propecia for my husband, I will tell him his hair is thinning in back.

Ha! Thought the same thing. Is there a pill I can put in DH's coffee that he won't want to have sex again? Asking for a friend, or basically all of my friends

Wow that's really said you and so many of your friends don't want to have sex with your husbands. Did you marry duds?

Oh, we had a great sex life for years. Not his fault. Who wants the same meal for 20 years?

I do it, don't worry, it's easier than dealing with an AP. Still, I am jealous of my lesbian friends who are all happily platonic

I'm jealous of all my gay male friends who are married and nonmonogamous.

Gay men really have it all in that department. It's a good glimpse into what life is like when women aren't the sexual gatekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Low-libido guys and ladies, you need to understand that when you go below 4x/year, we high-libido partners are not willing to give up ANYTHING for sex with you, which, due to lack of frequency, is not usually great anyway. DH gets no blow jobs or hand jobs or any kind of initiating from me after years of his not caring enough to try to meet me even a third of the way sexually.

OP, You are lucky to still be married. He is probably trying to hold on to hope by keeping hair that there will be Sex After You.

Probably bald with erectile dysfunction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Low-libido guys and ladies, you need to understand that when you go below 4x/year, we high-libido partners are not willing to give up ANYTHING for sex with you, which, due to lack of frequency, is not usually great anyway. DH gets no blow jobs or hand jobs or any kind of initiating from me after years of his not caring enough to try to meet me even a third of the way sexually.

OP, You are lucky to still be married. He is probably trying to hold on to hope by keeping hair that there will be Sex After You.

This exactly. If you reject someone that much for years, they aren't easily manipulated into sex again. After years of rejection, my wife will occasionally initiate, I just have zero interest in her now. But lots of interest elsewhere.

I cringe when I hear people tell couples to be patient while their low libido spouse feels like doing it again. Unless its immediately post-partum, it's terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

why why would a man bother taking propecia if it makes him lose his libido? Bald is just fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Low-libido guys and ladies, you need to understand that when you go below 4x/year, we high-libido partners are not willing to give up ANYTHING for sex with you, which, due to lack of frequency, is not usually great anyway. DH gets no blow jobs or hand jobs or any kind of initiating from me after years of his not caring enough to try to meet me even a third of the way sexually.

OP, You are lucky to still be married. He is probably trying to hold on to hope by keeping hair that there will be Sex After You.

This exactly. If you reject someone that much for years, they aren't easily manipulated into sex again. After years of rejection, my wife will occasionally initiate, I just have zero interest in her now. But lots of interest elsewhere.

I cringe when I hear people tell couples to be patient while their low libido spouse feels like doing it again. Unless its immediately post-partum, it's terrible advice.

I hear what you’re saying but it’s better to divorce rather than cheat.

BTW, my libido did come back after kids grew up and left home. Stress does a number on me in that respect. Just as FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why why would a man bother taking propecia if it makes him lose his libido? Bald is just fine!

He wanted to branch out and find an AP and he thought he better get his hair back to attract one. Probably uses Viagra when he needs it but has totally lost interest in the wife. He'd rather be bald, not be chemically castrated and have a great sex life with his wife but that ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

Let him wear a hair piece so you azzhoes can have sex once per month.

Problem is solved.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why why would a man bother taking propecia if it makes him lose his libido? Bald is just fine!

He wanted to branch out and find an AP and he thought he better get his hair back to attract one. Probably uses Viagra when he needs it but has totally lost interest in the wife. He'd rather be bald, not be chemically castrated and have a great sex life with his wife but that ship has sailed.

this. after being rejected for so long, he has finally woken up and realized that there are better alternatives to living with a roommate in sharing a dead bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Low-libido guys and ladies, you need to understand that when you go below 4x/year, we high-libido partners are not willing to give up ANYTHING for sex with you, which, due to lack of frequency, is not usually great anyway. DH gets no blow jobs or hand jobs or any kind of initiating from me after years of his not caring enough to try to meet me even a third of the way sexually.

OP, You are lucky to still be married. He is probably trying to hold on to hope by keeping hair that there will be Sex After You.

This exactly. If you reject someone that much for years, they aren't easily manipulated into sex again. After years of rejection, my wife will occasionally initiate, I just have zero interest in her now. But lots of interest elsewhere.

I cringe when I hear people tell couples to be patient while their low libido spouse feels like doing it again. Unless its immediately post-partum, it's terrible advice.

+! on this.

The OP's DH must be a saint to still hanging tough, even hopeful and optimistic enough to working on his hair, in a marriage with a controlling and manipulative spouse. OP, take some time to reflect on what has already given up to be with you, lost from this life, because of your mismatched libidos and then understand and respect him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she wants sex twice a year and is upset that her husband’s libido died (probably due to lack of sex instead of propecia?). This poor man. Hopefully he’s growing back his hair so he can find a woman who actually arouses him and wants sex.

This is obviously the plan