Husband gave sex ultimatum

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have always had sporadic sex because I am very low libido. I do like sex though, just not that often.

My husband recently started taking Propecia for hair loss. It seems to be working, but it has killed his libido. About 6 months ago we had sex and it took him much longer to finish than normal. I didn't think much of it, but I was in the mood yesterday and he couldn't even get it up. He told me that Propecia can lean to erectile distinction and he thinks it has because he said he rarely is turned on anymore.

I told him he needs to stop taking Propecia immediately and he said he doesn't want to stop and he likes his hair. He said unless we're going to have sex multiple times a month he won't stop taking it. He knows I am low libido and only like sex a few times a year. I feel like this is a lose/lose situation. Anyone have advice or been in a similar situation. I'm still upset that he gave me a sex ultimatum.

[Anonymous]

Huh? This makes no sense. Sounds like you gave HIM a sex ultimatum: stop taking propecia or else.

You are completely in the wrong. You don’t get to control what medicines he takes. If you can’t figure out how to have satisfying sex without an erection in the mix, talk to your local lesbian sex support group.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call that an ultimatum. He told you how he feels and what he needs in order to give up something he likes. He's not threatening divorce which is what the title of your post implies.

[Anonymous]

This is not an ultimatum. He’s not demanding anything of you. He’s telling you his feelings and having an honest interchange with you about the pros and cons of the medication’s side effects and the trade off he believes is worth it. Why are you dramatizing this? You don’t want much sex anyway. If you are upset about the ED, say so.

[Anonymous]

He didn’t give you an ultimatum. He said it isn’t worth losing his hair for sex twice a year. He is right. — wife in marriage with low libido DH

[Anonymous]

How is his libido? Is he happy with 2x/year? Maybe there's a reason keeping his hair is more important to him than having sex with you.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a nightmare. “I was in the mood and he couldn’t even get it up.” OMG.

[Anonymous]

I think propecia has other undesirable side effects too, does it not? Maybe he can look into alternatives.

[Anonymous]

His hair is way more important than sex 2-4 times a year. Have him talk to his doctor about what to do to keep both. Or suggest other alternatives. Erectionbis not necessary. Or maybe he would be fine with you getting a side piece, since it doesn't seem like it would disrupt that much.

[Anonymous]

OP, you were fine with your low libido calling the tune when it comes to sex, but now that he’s not in the mood, you’re upset. This is hypocritical. You are in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

So she wants sex twice a year and is upset that her husband’s libido died (probably due to lack of sex instead of propecia?). This poor man. Hopefully he’s growing back his hair so he can find a woman who actually arouses him and wants sex.

[Anonymous]

Team DH. Low-libido guys and ladies, you need to understand that when you go below 4x/year, we high-libido partners are not willing to give up ANYTHING for sex with you, which, due to lack of frequency, is not usually great anyway. DH gets no blow jobs or hand jobs or any kind of initiating from me after years of his not caring enough to try to meet me even a third of the way sexually.

OP, You are lucky to still be married. He is probably trying to hold on to hope by keeping hair that there will be Sex After You.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is his libido? Is he happy with 2x/year? Maybe there's a reason keeping his hair is more important to him than having sex with you.

He offered to give up the hair for more sex, so not nearly as low as hers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His hair is way more important than sex 2-4 times a year. Have him talk to his doctor about what to do to keep both. Or suggest other alternatives. Erectionbis not necessary. Or maybe he would be fine with you getting a side piece, since it doesn't seem like it would disrupt that much.

Or the other way around, maybe she can let him have a side piece since she only wants it a couple times a year.

[Anonymous]

He’s "low libido" now just like you were for years. Sounds like you need to just be ok with it as you expected him to for years.