Pretending to Not Remember Someone

[Anonymous]

If you don't remember your youth you are either brain damaged or an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

When I was in 8th grade I was head over heels for a boy in my neighborhood. I think I can see his 13yo baby face in my mind, I can remember the things we used to do together, I remember a canoe trip we took down a river at summer camp when he almost got the nerve to kiss me. For the life of me, I can’t remember his name and I doubt I’d recognize him if I saw him tomorrow. And I mean it when I say my heart went a flutter for him.

You’re projecting. What are you really worried about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- update.

She messaged the group today and said she's really looking forward to seeing everybody in "Reedeville". That's where my DH's river house is.

The thing is- "Reedeville" was never mentioned in the details. She messed up. If we are to believe her she would have no knowledge of the location.

Oh wow, OP, this definitely proves that she’s pining for your husband and can’t wait to rekindle their romance at the river house. She’s probably already in touch privately with your DH. You may want to start meeting with divorce attorneys.

[Anonymous]

Paranoia at its finest.

You’d better hold it in, OP, otherwise you’re going to make a lot of people miserable.

[Anonymous]

You are batshit crazy. It's OK if you don't believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you claiming its normal to forget people in your life might want to get a mental health check up. Sounds like early onset dementia.

Forgetting what you had for lunch is one thing, but forgetting who you dated for 18 months is a HUGE sign something is wrong cognitively.

Make an appt with your DR asap.

Where did op say they dated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. OMG OP you actually think someone who was a middle school girlfriend is still holding a flame for your DH? Thank you. I needed this laugh today.

Well, as a guy who contacted al of his exes after my divorce I can promise you that people do in fact remember who they were once in love or lust with. Even if it was when they were a teenager.

Reaching out to exes after a divorce is very common.

Really? You would contact someone you were in a "relationship" with when you were 12? That's just pathetic.

I was 15 at the end of 8th grade. Lost my virginity that summer. I remember his name, the way he was gentle and everything about it. Occasionally I look him up on FB. I'm 38.

NP. All that was oh so sweet until you got to "I look him up on Facebook."

Asking seriously: What purpose does that serve now? To help you recall losing your virginity to this gentle teen boy who is now decades older and (one assumes?) isnt in your life? I
Just don't get people looking up exes from middle or HS years and years later.

They probably also hang out in their high school parking lot when they're in town. Creepy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL. OMG OP you actually think someone who was a middle school girlfriend is still holding a flame for your DH? Thank you. I needed this laugh today.

This. Also, if she was there only got 1.5 years, chances are she really has no recollection of your dh. You are talking about something that happened 25-30 years ago. Had she been with your dh for 12 years of schooling, or lived next door for 20 years, then yes. But 1.5 years in 9th great? I’d be surprised if she remembered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- update.

She messaged the group today and said she's really looking forward to seeing everybody in "Reedeville". That's where my DH's river house is.

The thing is- "Reedeville" was never mentioned in the details. She messed up. If we are to believe her she would have no knowledge of the location.

She could have had a private side conversation with any of the 40! people in this group.
Private message:
Larla, you have to come to Reedville! It will be great to reminisce and jog your memory, which seems to be failing you in your old age, lol!
Response:
You are right, Jill, it will be great to see everyone and talk about the old days.

Case closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't remember your youth you are either brain damaged or an alcoholic.

Or have had lots of other priorities, relationships, and memories in the interim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't remember your youth you are either brain damaged or an alcoholic.

That’s just not true. And you’re an asshole for asserting so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a silly thread.

OP, I suggest some reading on memory, which operates very differently for different people. I have a number of friends with few memories of childhood, and not because they’re victims of childhood trauma - some people form and retain memory very differently than others. You also have no idea what physical or psychological issues this woman might have that could have impacted her memory.

Just the other day I was thinking about my middle school experience and the boy who was my first boyfriend. I had a mad crush on him, and we dated for the better part of a year, went to school dances and to movies together and double dated with my bestie and his bestie. I remember my bestie who is still in my life, but I cannot recall my boyfriend’s name or the name of his best friend. I have a vague recollection of what might be their first names, but certainly don’t knew their full names. No middle school yearbooks to consult either. If I met him again tomorrow or saw him on Facebook I very likely wouldn’t recognize him because many people’s faces change a terrific amount from middle school to middle age. Still in my heart I will always retain fondness for David, or Danny, or Dylan? My first real boyfriend.

The things that stay sharp in our memories are usually the memories we visit over and over and over again - we burn those neural pathways deeper and deeper in our brains, while all the memories we don’t revisit often, or at all, fall away from our easy recollection. It seems very likely that this woman hasn’t thought of your husband in decades, which is why she doesn’t remember his face or his family’s vacation home.

Don’t worry yourself about her.

That's interesting. How old are you? I'm 41 and I can tell you everybody from my elementary school classes, including last names, and the names of all of my teachers. I think I must have a very good memory.

Liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you claiming its normal to forget people in your life might want to get a mental health check up. Sounds like early onset dementia.

Forgetting what you had for lunch is one thing, but forgetting who you dated for 18 months is a HUGE sign something is wrong cognitively.

Make an appt with your DR asap.

I work with patients who have Alzheimer’s and related dementias, I know a great deal about dementia and you are flat wrong. Clearly a troll or an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I'd think she was either blocking trauma or playing it too cool for school- I'd be creeped by her reaction and would keep an eye on it.

I didn't read the other responses- but I'm curious if DH thought it was weird also. What was his reaction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- update.

She messaged the group today and said she's really looking forward to seeing everybody in "Reedeville". That's where my DH's river house is.

The thing is- "Reedeville" was never mentioned in the details. She messed up. If we are to believe her she would have no knowledge of the location.

She didn't mess up. You don't know what conversations she's had outside the chat. She is clearly closer to part of the group than others. It is odd that you are making something out of this. On the trip, her memory will probably be refreshed. She is not secretly carrying a torch for her middle school boyfriend. You guys are not rivals. I hope you act normally on the trip.

Wrong. There are only 4 organizers. She spoke with 1. No mention of Reedeville was made. She slipped up. It's OK you don't want to believe that.

How do you know who she's talked with? Are you stalking her? You sound batshit crazy like, you need to hospitalized and medicated crazy and she probably needs to take a restraining order out on you, and I'm not joking.