Are hot women less likely to have solid marriages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband is hot.as hell. He’s smart and successful too. Everyone comments on it. Women of all ages, even men. I met him when he was 24. He’s 49 now. I have seen women throw themselves at him throughout our marriage. I’ve seen women that are stuffy, intellectual, prudish turn into stumbling school girls around him.

I am 50. I am the whole package, very smart, great career, Graduate degrees, very athletic, funny, etc. We were told we are the couple everyone wants to swing with because neither partner in the other relationship would be the “loser” (usually one person in the marriage is more attractive and it becomes more apparent over time). I get hit on a lot. I’m told I’m beautiful, etc. I have aged incredibly well. Thank you olive skin and good genetics. I still have a 6-pack after having 2 kids and look great in a bikini, no stretch marks or cellulite.

It’s strange being married to a guy like this because it does keep you on your A game. I have always worked out hard 6 days per week and taken meticulous care of my skin. I’ve always been slightly insecure. I have seen women that are friends flirt shamelessly with my husband. One neighbor texted both of us yesterday to say how great he looked during quarantine. Wtf? Who does that.

He has always made me feel beautiful. He has always done great things for me. We have always had a great sex life, 3-4 times per week.

Midlife he he cheated with some grumpily woman he met on the Internet. She was older and never worked. She was not attractive. What she did do was fawn over him and tell him how handsome and incredible his body was. She had never been with a guy that ripped, muscular and attractive. He’s a narcissist. He needs excessive validation. A lot of really good looking guys are narcissists. This is why their marriages end up having problems. They need that excessive attention. He had a very traumatic childhood. His mother tried to shoot his father. His father was very good looking and a serial cheater, alcoholic. His dad was a malicious narcissist.

Well it does sound like there is a narcissist and it’s not your DH. It’s sounds like he needed some attention/affection from a woman that you did not give him.

Both are very dysfunctional. She's also excusing his cheating saying it comes from his childhood, LOL. Many of us had a crappy childhood, and still don't treat our partners bad or risk our health. Good looking on the outside only carries one so far, and sometimes those people are bone ugly on the inside.

She didn’t excuse it but there is a reason. Childhood trauma And bipolar disorder Have nearly a 100% cheating rate.

[Anonymous]

This is just my experience but my wife is hot. When we met I’d classify her as Ridiculously Hot. At 46 she still looks better in a bikini than 90% of women in their 20’s with a six pack, tan complexion and great curves.

I think that much like other people, hot people are all different. Lots of them are just down to earth, normal people. They don’t have to have some critical personality flaw that drives their hotness.

We’ve been together almost 20 years now and everyone has their flaws. But, she is the most confident, driven and good to be in a relationship person I’ve ever met and I can only hope that the next 20 years are as good as the first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

They are hot for their age, but in absolute terms of just being "hot" a hot 55 year old can't compete with a hot 20 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

The problem is there are 55 year old women who are never going to be happy being "pretty hot" or the "hottest 50 plus woman." They are going to mourn what they once had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just my experience but my wife is hot. When we met I’d classify her as Ridiculously Hot. At 46 she still looks better in a bikini than 90% of women in their 20’s with a six pack, tan complexion and great curves.

I think that much like other people, hot people are all different. Lots of them are just down to earth, normal people. They don’t have to have some critical personality flaw that drives their hotness.

We’ve been together almost 20 years now and everyone has their flaws. But, she is the most confident, driven and good to be in a relationship person I’ve ever met and I can only hope that the next 20 years are as good as the first.

OP here, and I guess what I'm really asking is, can you have a stable relationship with a "high value" man? This sorta became a referendum on hot women, but I was pointing out that being able to attract truly sexy men might not be a benefit in the long run, as they're quite likely to cheat, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just my experience but my wife is hot. When we met I’d classify her as Ridiculously Hot. At 46 she still looks better in a bikini than 90% of women in their 20’s with a six pack, tan complexion and great curves.

I think that much like other people, hot people are all different. Lots of them are just down to earth, normal people. They don’t have to have some critical personality flaw that drives their hotness.

We’ve been together almost 20 years now and everyone has their flaws. But, she is the most confident, driven and good to be in a relationship person I’ve ever met and I can only hope that the next 20 years are as good as the first.

OP here, and I guess what I'm really asking is, can you have a stable relationship with a "high value" man? This sorta became a referendum on hot women, but I was pointing out that being able to attract truly sexy men might not be a benefit in the long run, as they're quite likely to cheat, in my experience.

Ok - gotcha. At the risk of being called some names I’ll say that I’m an objectively good looking guy. I’m tall, fit, funny, advanced degrees and well traveled. I’m an exec at a tech company and am a high earner (depending on your definition). I’ve never cheated and feel very fortunate to be married.

[Anonymous]

^ objectively good-looking is not the same as hot. My husband gets hit on by 20-somethings all the way up to 70-somethings. On vacation, I cane down to the bar and a 65-year old woman was trying to buy him drinks and telling him he looked like a movie star. My 76-year old mother’s friends are always oohing and ahhing over him as are my 20-something nephew’s girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ objectively good-looking is not the same as hot. My husband gets hit on by 20-somethings all the way up to 70-somethings. On vacation, I cane down to the bar and a 65-year old woman was trying to buy him drinks and telling him he looked like a movie star. My 76-year old mother’s friends are always oohing and ahhing over him as are my 20-something nephew’s girlfriends.

He’s almost 49.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ objectively good-looking is not the same as hot. My husband gets hit on by 20-somethings all the way up to 70-somethings. On vacation, I cane down to the bar and a 65-year old woman was trying to buy him drinks and telling him he looked like a movie star. My 76-year old mother’s friends are always oohing and ahhing over him as are my 20-something nephew’s girlfriends.

He’s almost 49.

So, me again. The tech company that I work at has a very large college hire program. I get flirted with regularly and blatantly hit on to a lesser extent. I’ve been whistled at from cars, flirted with at stop lights etc. Please don’t think that I’m bragging - I’m just trying to say that I’ve never felt the need to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ objectively good-looking is not the same as hot. My husband gets hit on by 20-somethings all the way up to 70-somethings. On vacation, I cane down to the bar and a 65-year old woman was trying to buy him drinks and telling him he looked like a movie star. My 76-year old mother’s friends are always oohing and ahhing over him as are my 20-something nephew’s girlfriends.

He’s almost 49.

So, me again. The tech company that I work at has a very large college hire program. I get flirted with regularly and blatantly hit on to a lesser extent. I’ve been whistled at from cars, flirted with at stop lights etc. Please don’t think that I’m bragging - I’m just trying to say that I’ve never felt the need to cheat.

I get it. I’m your female equivalent, very successful in career too and also never cheated or even been tempted to. My spouse is BLATANTLY hit on every day. It’s probably also partly what he’s throwing off, narc charm. His cheating is definitely as others have said really extreme childhood trauma and mental diagnosis as clinical narc. Very few people are diagnosed as “clinical”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

The problem is there are 55 year old women who are never going to be happy being "pretty hot" or the "hottest 50 plus woman." They are going to mourn what they once had.

Some will mourn. Others, like, me, have found aging to be kind of awesome. I'm in a nerdy, numbers-related career and as a cute, slim 20 and 30 something with big boobs, people took one glance at me and thought "dumb bimbo", even though I always dressed like the shy geek that I am. I had to work incredibly hard to be taken seriously. Now that I am in my 40s with some wrinkles starting to show, I'm finally being taken seriously and it's truly helped me advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

The problem is there are 55 year old women who are never going to be happy being "pretty hot" or the "hottest 50 plus woman." They are going to mourn what they once had.

Some will mourn. Others, like, me, have found aging to be kind of awesome. I'm in a nerdy, numbers-related career and as a cute, slim 20 and 30 something with big boobs, people took one glance at me and thought "dumb bimbo", even though I always dressed like the shy geek that I am. I had to work incredibly hard to be taken seriously. Now that I am in my 40s with some wrinkles starting to show, I'm finally being taken seriously and it's truly helped me advance.

Hot women that weren't raised to rely on looks and had parents that did not make a big deal or emphasize their looks are fine aging. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I knew I was beautiful/hot. I overheard a neigbor's son telling my mom 'she has no idea how beautiful she is". I had an older brother that kept the boys away(he was most popular guy in school) and I played a competitive sport, was a straight A honors student. Yes, I remember parents and others mentioning I was very pretty, even a creepy neighbor when I was 12 that kept telling me I looked like Brooke Shields in the Blue Lagoon movie that had just come out. My dad raised his daughters that they could do anything and both of my parents put an emphasis that we should always have a means to support ourselves throughout our lives, earn our own income, never rely on anyone else, never give up a job completely for a man.

I have a graduate degree working in a STEM field too and I also faced the 'too hot to be smart', but it was pretty easy to overcome with results. I still look young for my age. As an life-long athlete, fitness and nutrition have always been important. But, I don't feel upset about aging. I think women who that was what they were valued for and used as their 'calling card' have the hardest time with looking in the mirror and not getting outside validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

They are hot for their age, but in absolute terms of just being "hot" a hot 55 year old can't compete with a hot 20 year old.

One of mine could beat out any 20yo.

One could best out 80% of them.

The other is weary from the bad marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People responding that they are pretty and have solid marriages... there is a huge difference between pretty and hot.

Yeah, agreed. And the truth is that "hot" usually fades drastically with age. By the time most hot women are in their 40s and 50s, they are still very pretty but not smoking hot in the same way. Very few women stay truly hot as they age.

Even with gazillions of dollars, doctors, and the best trainers/chefs/stylists at their disposal, it's hard to stay truly hot as you age. Maybe if you are J. Lo but who knows how long even she has left.

My hot friends are still pretty hot and we are 55ish.

It’s almost insane how unbelievably blessed they are with looks and charisma.

Their H’s are a-holes though.

They are hot for their age, but in absolute terms of just being "hot" a hot 55 year old can't compete with a hot 20 year old.

One of mine could beat out any 20yo.

One could best out 80% of them.

The other is weary from the bad marriage.

Sure, keep telling yourself that. But no 55 y/o is hotter than the hottest 20 year old. Ever. Unless your circle of 20 y/os is hideous.