SAHMS getting a job after divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think therapists should be ethically bound to tell a spouse their health is at risk. If they know their client us having unprotected sex and still screwing the spouse I think that should be required disclosure. I sure as hell wish somebody had told me.

The therapist’s ethical obligation is to maintain client confidentiality. Who would trust a therapist if they knew the therapist could randomly decide they should share the patient’s confidences with others the therapist felt had a significant interest in the information?

Exactly.

A therapist doing what the other suggests should lose his or her license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

Break the cycle OP. For yourself.

I am. Once her husband knows everything and my therapist calls, I’m done and won’t look back. I have a good career and good morals and wonderful extended family. She can sit and think about the kind of life she chose to live.

What does your therapist have to do with this?

Plot twist! The friend is cheating with PP’s husband!

That’s why she’s so invested!

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good.

[Anonymous]

^ But yiu are still a liar and a cheater, so there’s that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ But yiu are still a liar and a cheater, so there’s that.

Yeah. She’ll have to own that one day. I’m sure her Ex was thrilled to find out about the affair.

Maybe if more if these SAHMs got a job they wouldn’t have affairs. Too much time on their hands and boredom. It’s the ultimate back stab to cheat on somebody paying for your existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many SAHMs had to get a job or lost the house after divorce?

Divorce is often glamorized and made that the woman gets everything and a glorious life when in reality it's the exception vs reality.

I'm thinking of a serial cheating woman I know whose husband just found out about her long affair.

This woman made excuses for not working for decades. Her kids are in high school.

How is this a question? She cheated. Yes, she should get a job and move out. Why should her husband/ex support her? My husband's ex cheated, they divorced before 30 and she gets life long alimony. Its absurd given her age and she cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good.

You didn't have much free time as you were too busy juggling affairs.

[Anonymous]

Ok. I thought this was a real thread about how hard it is for SAHMs to get job after a divorce. It turned into OP's vent because she has been cheated on. LOL. Ha ha

OP, you are friendless are you not? Normally, you spew this in front of a group of super supportive girlfriends. Tsk Tsk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I thought this was a real thread about how hard it is for SAHMs to get job after a divorce. It turned into OP's vent because she has been cheated on. LOL. Ha ha

OP, you are friendless are you not? Normally, you spew this in front of a group of super supportive girlfriends. Tsk Tsk.

Now it sounds like OP's husband had an affair with the woman. So instead of dealing with her husband's willing role in this, OP is going after the other woman.

What's sad is that she probably doesn't have any real friends, and her husband betrayed her. I would NEVER say the other woman is innocent, but OP really needs to get help and deal with the real problem for her here: her husband cheated on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many SAHMs had to get a job or lost the house after divorce?

Divorce is often glamorized and made that the woman gets everything and a glorious life when in reality it's the exception vs reality.

I'm thinking of a serial cheating woman I know whose husband just found out about her long affair.

This woman made excuses for not working for decades. Her kids are in high school.

How is this a question? She cheated. Yes, she should get a job and move out. Why should her husband/ex support her? My husband's ex cheated, they divorced before 30 and she gets life long alimony. Its absurd given her age and she cheated.

It’s crazy. Sane thing happened to my Uncle. She was crazy and made his life hell for 20 years. She never worked and he’s still paying her—even with job loss and his own major health issues- multiple myeloma.

There are just awfully selfish people in the world. I see it when I read the thread with the women attacking a 15-year old boy because mom deserves to bring boyfriends over and he isn’t getting with the program three years after her divorce from cheating on his dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I thought this was a real thread about how hard it is for SAHMs to get job after a divorce. It turned into OP's vent because she has been cheated on. LOL. Ha ha

OP, you are friendless are you not? Normally, you spew this in front of a group of super supportive girlfriends. Tsk Tsk.

NP. You obviously have never been the victim in an affair. It’s socially isolating. Most don’t tell their families or friends, especially in the beginning. It’s a major shock and whomever they tell will hold that against spouse for as ling as they live. If they have kids they do NOT want their kids to find out about a parent’s infidelity. 75% of kids whose fathers cheated go on to cheat themselves. It becomes a multigenerational issue.

It’s incredibly isolating for the betrayed spouse. Initially it’s recommended they only talk to a therapist. Unlike my spouses married AP who told all of her friends about the affair. They were all cheating on their spouses and compared d@ck notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many SAHMs had to get a job or lost the house after divorce?

Divorce is often glamorized and made that the woman gets everything and a glorious life when in reality it's the exception vs reality.

I'm thinking of a serial cheating woman I know whose husband just found out about her long affair.

This woman made excuses for not working for decades. Her kids are in high school.

How is this a question? She cheated. Yes, she should get a job and move out. Why should her husband/ex support her? My husband's ex cheated, they divorced before 30 and she gets life long alimony. Its absurd given her age and she cheated.

It’s crazy. Sane thing happened to my Uncle. She was crazy and made his life hell for 20 years. She never worked and he’s still paying her—even with job loss and his own major health issues- multiple myeloma.

There are just awfully selfish people in the world. I see it when I read the thread with the women attacking a 15-year old boy because mom deserves to bring boyfriends over and he isn’t getting with the program three years after her divorce from cheating on his dad.

Oh and she never remarried - just lives with boyfriend so she can keep robbing him of his $$. She destroyed the relationship with her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I thought this was a real thread about how hard it is for SAHMs to get job after a divorce. It turned into OP's vent because she has been cheated on. LOL. Ha ha

OP, you are friendless are you not? Normally, you spew this in front of a group of super supportive girlfriends. Tsk Tsk.

NP. You obviously have never been the victim in an affair. It’s socially isolating. Most don’t tell their families or friends, especially in the beginning. It’s a major shock and whomever they tell will hold that against spouse for as ling as they live. If they have kids they do NOT want their kids to find out about a parent’s infidelity. 75% of kids whose fathers cheated go on to cheat themselves. It becomes a multigenerational issue.

It’s incredibly isolating for the betrayed spouse. Initially it’s recommended they only talk to a therapist. Unlike my spouses married AP who told all of her friends about the affair. They were all cheating on their spouses and compared d@ck notes.

Agree. You run the risk of people mentioning it in front of your kids. Some drinks, and somebody in the family will bring it up within earshot of kids. Friends will gossip. Their kids will hear. It will get back to your kids. You don’t want them to be gossip fodder or isolated in the community. If your kids are toddlers not as big of a deal, but if you have preteens and teens and you are a good parent your first thought is protecting them. It’s socially isolating. People judge too. Look at how people judged Hillary Clinton. They always judge the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think therapists should be ethically bound to tell a spouse their health is at risk. If they know their client us having unprotected sex and still screwing the spouse I think that should be required disclosure. I sure as hell wish somebody had told me.

The therapist’s ethical obligation is to maintain client confidentiality. Who would trust a therapist if they knew the therapist could randomly decide they should share the patient’s confidences with others the therapist felt had a significant interest in the information?

The client gave wife disclosure, signed agreements for records/discussions to be released. Therapist is not betraying patient-client confidentiality. The client knows and asked therapist to do the contact so they don’t have any contact with the AP themselves. Nobody in this situation owes the AP any confidentiality. No violations are being made. This is often done in MC.

[Anonymous]

This entire thread is a big exhibit of why you should never cheat. You cannot control their spouses or how they will make your life a living hell.