SAHMS getting a job after divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

[Anonymous]

I had to find a job after stbx moved out. I was in my 40s and did have jobs before I had my child, so it was a bit easier, but still not super easy.
I don’t think of it as of something tragic. People need to work to stay sharp and be productive. I enjoyed my years of raising my kid but nothing lasts forever.
As for the woman in question, don’t be surprised if she ends up with a nice spousal support package. It so much depends on so many things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to find a job after stbx moved out. I was in my 40s and did have jobs before I had my child, so it was a bit easier, but still not super easy.
I don’t think of it as of something tragic. People need to work to stay sharp and be productive. I enjoyed my years of raising my kid but nothing lasts forever.
As for the woman in question, don’t be surprised if she ends up with a nice spousal support package. It so much depends on so many things.

Not when it comes to light she was banging men in the family home for 8 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

Break the cycle OP. For yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

Break the cycle OP. For yourself.

I am. Once her husband knows everything and my therapist calls, I’m done and won’t look back. I have a good career and good morals and wonderful extended family. She can sit and think about the kind of life she chose to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Wrong. I just made absolutely sure my SAH wife who cheated and bled me dry financially for years got no spousal support. We were married 16 years. Had she not had an affair (documented by a private investigator and proven in court), she might have received $4,000 or $5,000 a month per month.


I do pay child support, happily and reliably.


I did catch her telling a friend she was going to fight getting a job to drive THAT up. Judge wasn't impressed. Imputed an income for her of $55,000, since she had a college degree, several certificates and had once been a senior executive at an ad agency.


My lawyer said this is par for the course if you can prove adultery. Even in a no-fault divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

Break the cycle OP. For yourself.

I am. Once her husband knows everything and my therapist calls, I’m done and won’t look back. I have a good career and good morals and wonderful extended family. She can sit and think about the kind of life she chose to live.

Reread what you wrote. There is something very wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Wrong. I just made absolutely sure my SAH wife who cheated and bled me dry financially for years got no spousal support. We were married 16 years. Had she not had an affair (documented by a private investigator and proven in court), she might have received $4,000 or $5,000 a month per month.


I do pay child support, happily and reliably.


I did catch her telling a friend she was going to fight getting a job to drive THAT up. Judge wasn't impressed. Imputed an income for her of $55,000, since she had a college degree, several certificates and had once been a senior executive at an ad agency.


My lawyer said this is par for the course if you can prove adultery. Even in a no-fault divorce.

Good for you !!!

[Anonymous]

Who was your VA lawyer? I’m shopping for one.

[Anonymous]

Very nasty relationships and messed up culture.

I won't be surprised if they are a particular race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Wrong. I just made absolutely sure my SAH wife who cheated and bled me dry financially for years got no spousal support. We were married 16 years. Had she not had an affair (documented by a private investigator and proven in court), she might have received $4,000 or $5,000 a month per month.


I do pay child support, happily and reliably.


I did catch her telling a friend she was going to fight getting a job to drive THAT up. Judge wasn't impressed. Imputed an income for her of $55,000, since she had a college degree, several certificates and had once been a senior executive at an ad agency.


My lawyer said this is par for the course if you can prove adultery. Even in a no-fault divorce.

Yes, that is true that the offending party can be denied spousal support. However, in many cases, if both spouses work, the woman is not getting spousal support anyway. So moot.

Also, if the husband cheats, and he earns more, he is not getting spousal support anyway. And everything I have read says Va courts do not care from that angle and will not punish the husband or higher earning spouse to pay more in spousal support than they would have other wise to punish them. In those cases, it really has no effect. The offending spouse (cheater) will not pay more spousal support.

The only time someone loses if they are the cheater and don't work or make very little, then yes, they could lose spousal support. But spousal support is not an automatic thing these days.

Yes, I am divorced. I could not get spousal support as soon as I went back to work. I wanted to leave earlier. My spouse threatened to drive up legal fees on purpose rather than paying any spousal support whatsoever despite me following his career and sacrificing my own career trajectory. He refused to divorce amicably and refused to pay spousal support. I could have insisted, but it would have hurt the kids. There was no cheating--but I read every single thing and consulted 3 attorneys on every aspect of divorce law when I was dealing with this (and it is recent).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Wrong. I just made absolutely sure my SAH wife who cheated and bled me dry financially for years got no spousal support. We were married 16 years. Had she not had an affair (documented by a private investigator and proven in court), she might have received $4,000 or $5,000 a month per month.


I do pay child support, happily and reliably.


I did catch her telling a friend she was going to fight getting a job to drive THAT up. Judge wasn't impressed. Imputed an income for her of $55,000, since she had a college degree, several certificates and had once been a senior executive at an ad agency.


My lawyer said this is par for the course if you can prove adultery. Even in a no-fault divorce.

Yes, that is true that the offending party can be denied spousal support. However, in many cases, if both spouses work, the woman is not getting spousal support anyway. So moot.

Also, if the husband cheats, and he earns more, he is not getting spousal support anyway. And everything I have read says Va courts do not care from that angle and will not punish the husband or higher earning spouse to pay more in spousal support than they would have other wise to punish them. In those cases, it really has no effect. The offending spouse (cheater) will not pay more spousal support.

The only time someone loses if they are the cheater and don't work or make very little, then yes, they could lose spousal support. But spousal support is not an automatic thing these days.

Yes, I am divorced. I could not get spousal support as soon as I went back to work. I wanted to leave earlier. My spouse threatened to drive up legal fees on purpose rather than paying any spousal support whatsoever despite me following his career and sacrificing my own career trajectory. He refused to divorce amicably and refused to pay spousal support. I could have insisted, but it would have hurt the kids. There was no cheating--but I read every single thing and consulted 3 attorneys on every aspect of divorce law when I was dealing with this (and it is recent).

Yes. If you are the cheater AND the one without a job. Good luck. You are screwed- no pun intended.