SAHMS getting a job after divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good.

I'm glad you landed on your feet. Some posters can be very black and white about cheating. I had one friend who got divorced. I didn't understand why at the time because I really liked her husband and they had a kid. Later on I found out how emotionally abusive and unsupportive he and his family were, and that she had an affair during the marriage. Then she left (not for her AP, just left in general). She went back to work and is so much happier now.

I say this because even though we were close friends, you don't ever really know another person's marriage. She had only told one friend about this during the marriage (not me). Sometimes a person is just being a selfish jerk by having an affair, but sometimes the spouse is being cruel and this is an escape while coming to terms with what to do. I don't condone it, but I also get how life can be messy and decent people can do not so decent things during a bad time.

I don't agree with the posters who enjoy sticking it to SAHMs who need to go back to work. It's not like the husbands are always perfect partners and the cheating wives are evil. I also don't think alimony should be based on cheating or not. A marriage is too complex of an issue. I say this as someone who's pretty sure my husband has been cheating on me. I don't think it's entirely my fault, but I also know that our marriage has been rocky for a while so it's different from some happy couple with one spouse getting blindsided.

Honey, if your affair was with a married man with kids, you ruined two families. You are still entirely “selfish” thinking “poor old me and my emotionally distant husband” completely accepting zero responsibility for f@cking another woman’s husband and ruining her kids’ future. A woman who did nothing to deserve the intentional harm you inflicted knowing she and her kids existed.

Can you read? The person you are responding to is the one who was cheated on.

[Anonymous]

^ it was her “friend”. Wink wink. Come on, it’s her story and she’s trying to justify why she did it and why she should not be seen as a POS.

[Anonymous]

FFS. Cheating is black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good.

I'm glad you landed on your feet. Some posters can be very black and white about cheating. I had one friend who got divorced. I didn't understand why at the time because I really liked her husband and they had a kid. Later on I found out how emotionally abusive and unsupportive he and his family were, and that she had an affair during the marriage. Then she left (not for her AP, just left in general). She went back to work and is so much happier now.

I say this because even though we were close friends, you don't ever really know another person's marriage. She had only told one friend about this during the marriage (not me). Sometimes a person is just being a selfish jerk by having an affair, but sometimes the spouse is being cruel and this is an escape while coming to terms with what to do. I don't condone it, but I also get how life can be messy and decent people can do not so decent things during a bad time.

I don't agree with the posters who enjoy sticking it to SAHMs who need to go back to work. It's not like the husbands are always perfect partners and the cheating wives are evil. I also don't think alimony should be based on cheating or not. A marriage is too complex of an issue. I say this as someone who's pretty sure my husband has been cheating on me. I don't think it's entirely my fault, but I also know that our marriage has been rocky for a while so it's different from some happy couple with one spouse getting blindsided.

PP here. Thanks for the kind words. You're right, it's not always black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired at 55 after a successful career. He now works part-time at Target and loves it. Don't knock it. He said tons of retirees work there.

The key is this man has a RETIREMENT. I know plenty of people that take jobs they love at retirement and not out of necessity.

My mom is similar she has taken on employment at places she loves.

This affair woman going behind her husband's back with kids that are still in high school--haven't even hit college does not have a retirement. She did not have any career, much less a successful one. She betrayed the man multiple times that has set her up in her McMansion while she boned other men.

Wow. You're really invested in this woman's downfall.

Totally. As she was in mine. Stalked me online for years before I ever knew about her.

Break the cycle OP. For yourself.

I am. Once her husband knows everything and my therapist calls, I’m done and won’t look back. I have a good career and good morals and wonderful extended family. She can sit and think about the kind of life she chose to live.

What does your therapist have to do with this?

Plot twist! The friend is cheating with PP’s husband!

That’s why she’s so invested!

You mean OP's husband? That's what I picked up pages ago when OP said the woman was stalking her!
Now I'll read the rest of the thread to see if that is the case or someone was messing with the story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good.

I'm glad you landed on your feet. Some posters can be very black and white about cheating. I had one friend who got divorced. I didn't understand why at the time because I really liked her husband and they had a kid. Later on I found out how emotionally abusive and unsupportive he and his family were, and that she had an affair during the marriage. Then she left (not for her AP, just left in general). She went back to work and is so much happier now.

I say this because even though we were close friends, you don't ever really know another person's marriage. She had only told one friend about this during the marriage (not me). Sometimes a person is just being a selfish jerk by having an affair, but sometimes the spouse is being cruel and this is an escape while coming to terms with what to do. I don't condone it, but I also get how life can be messy and decent people can do not so decent things during a bad time.

I don't agree with the posters who enjoy sticking it to SAHMs who need to go back to work. It's not like the husbands are always perfect partners and the cheating wives are evil. I also don't think alimony should be based on cheating or not. A marriage is too complex of an issue. I say this as someone who's pretty sure my husband has been cheating on me. I don't think it's entirely my fault, but I also know that our marriage has been rocky for a while so it's different from some happy couple with one spouse getting blindsided.

Honey, if your affair was with a married man with kids, you ruined two families. You are still entirely “selfish” thinking “poor old me and my emotionally distant husband” completely accepting zero responsibility for f@cking another woman’s husband and ruining her kids’ future. A woman who did nothing to deserve the intentional harm you inflicted knowing she and her kids existed.

Can you read? The person you are responding to is the one who was cheated on.

PP here. Yes, thanks, it was truly my friend. I'm not even divorced and I'm not the cheater in my own marriage.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a nasty person OP. Clearly you are jealous of this friend or acquaintance because she was a SAHM and you think she is a lazy and doesn’t deserve to not work.

And now you seemed pleased at what may be her misfortune.

Grow up and worry about your own life.