Relative misrepresented that they bought a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that this is not your information to share. I also think that you were nosy for snooping around in their personal business like that.

I would wonder about a person who purposely misled others into believing that they actually owned a property that they did not own, though. Especially, if they are not even married to their SO. Does the person understand that their name is not on the title and that they have no legal claim to the property? If not, are they being duped into paying the mortgage on a property that they do not own and have no legal claim to. That, right there, would be more of a worry to me than if they had misrepresented their home purchase in order to get housewarming gifts or even just to impress others.

It would be like me inviting family members to a college graduation party....even though I hadn't actually graduated from college or telling people that I had gotten married even if I hadn't really done so.

It would be misleading if the person claimed to own it, and was really renting. This isn't that.

I mean it's misleading because they may be going in for half of the mortgage but they still do not actually own the property. "My boyfriend let's me live in his house in exchange for me paying half of the mortgage" is not the same thing as "I own this property". If my friend was also putting her own money into fixing up/maintaining a property that she had no ownership rights to then I would be a bit concerned for her. Acting "like" and owner doesn't make you an owner.

It seems like a REALLY weird line to draw with a friend. I don't GAF what their personal arrangements are.

Why lie about something that other people, though? Why purposely tell your family/friends that you bought a house when you did not. That would be like your boyfriend allowing you to drive one of his cars and you saying "Look everyone! I bought a car!!" Why go out of your way to present yourself in a way that is not true? I think it's the deliberate deception that is concerning.

Back when dh and I were living together people often assumed that we were a married couple. We weren't intentionally telling people that we were married and if someone asked if we were married or mentioned that they thought that we were married we would quickly set the record straight.

Why pretend to be something your not? I just don't understand the reasoning I guess.

Because most of us don't equate "owning a house" with "being something", nor do we care to know the details of how couples split their finances. In fact, most of us find sharing that kind of information quite gauche.

I left my awesome career to care for our special needs child. I still have a credit card in my name, but pretty much every cent in our shared bank account comes from DH's paycheck. Every time I buy something am I suppose to say "Look at this new lipstick DH just paid for?" "I enrolled my kid in this great therapy program using the money DH makes." And when I needed a new car we went to buy one at the dealer together but I left with DS before the paperwork was done because he was getting restless. So not only did DH pay for it, it's just his name on the title. Should I not have sent a picture of the new car to my sister saying "Hey, I finally got a new car!"

If you answer "yes" to these questions, you are a very petty person. And perhaps lacking in social graces?

[Anonymous]

I’d be worried that the house is not in her name. Does she even know?

My husband pays the mortgage but we’re both on the title. My neighbor has an abusive husband who hid from her that her name wasn’t on the title, and she only found out years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that this is not your information to share. I also think that you were nosy for snooping around in their personal business like that.

I would wonder about a person who purposely misled others into believing that they actually owned a property that they did not own, though. Especially, if they are not even married to their SO. Does the person understand that their name is not on the title and that they have no legal claim to the property? If not, are they being duped into paying the mortgage on a property that they do not own and have no legal claim to. That, right there, would be more of a worry to me than if they had misrepresented their home purchase in order to get housewarming gifts or even just to impress others.

It would be like me inviting family members to a college graduation party....even though I hadn't actually graduated from college or telling people that I had gotten married even if I hadn't really done so.

It would be misleading if the person claimed to own it, and was really renting. This isn't that.

I mean it's misleading because they may be going in for half of the mortgage but they still do not actually own the property. "My boyfriend let's me live in his house in exchange for me paying half of the mortgage" is not the same thing as "I own this property". If my friend was also putting her own money into fixing up/maintaining a property that she had no ownership rights to then I would be a bit concerned for her. Acting "like" and owner doesn't make you an owner.

It seems like a REALLY weird line to draw with a friend. I don't GAF what their personal arrangements are.

Why lie about something that other people, though? Why purposely tell your family/friends that you bought a house when you did not. That would be like your boyfriend allowing you to drive one of his cars and you saying "Look everyone! I bought a car!!" Why go out of your way to present yourself in a way that is not true? I think it's the deliberate deception that is concerning.

Back when dh and I were living together people often assumed that we were a married couple. We weren't intentionally telling people that we were married and if someone asked if we were married or mentioned that they thought that we were married we would quickly set the record straight.

Why pretend to be something your not? I just don't understand the reasoning I guess.

Because most of us don't equate "owning a house" with "being something", nor do we care to know the details of how couples split their finances. In fact, most of us find sharing that kind of information quite gauche.

I left my awesome career to care for our special needs child. I still have a credit card in my name, but pretty much every cent in our shared bank account comes from DH's paycheck. Every time I buy something am I suppose to say "Look at this new lipstick DH just paid for?" "I enrolled my kid in this great therapy program using the money DH makes." And when I needed a new car we went to buy one at the dealer together but I left with DS before the paperwork was done because he was getting restless. So not only did DH pay for it, it's just his name on the title. Should I not have sent a picture of the new car to my sister saying "Hey, I finally got a new car!"

If you answer "yes" to these questions, you are a very petty person. And perhaps lacking in social graces?

Again you are MARRIED. That is different from being UNMARRIED. Unmarried SOs have the same legal rights to their SO's property as a roommate does - in other words NO RIGHTS.

When I bought a house with my boyfriend we each owned it 50/50 and if one of us died, the deceased person's property would have gone to whichever one of us was the survivor.

[Anonymous]

the deceased person's share of the house would have gone to whichever one of us was the survivor....as opposed to our next closest kin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’d be worried that the house is not in her name. Does she even know?

My husband pays the mortgage but we’re both on the title. My neighbor has an abusive husband who hid from her that her name wasn’t on the title, and she only found out years later.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. My husband and I shopped for our car together. I am the primary user of the car. We could have both been on the financing, but my husband has a remarkable credit score, whereas mine was just regular good at the time. He made all the payments, but in all practicality, it's my car. I drive it daily. We share plently of other expenses. For instance, I generally pay for all the groceries, doesn't mean the groceries aren't also 'his.' Geez.

You are *married* and the car purchased during your marriage is marital property. If he dies his property automatically goes to you. If you were unmarried he would need to have a will stating that the car went to you and, remember, one false move and he could take that car away from you and change his will.

If he owned a house before you married and the house was in his name only that property belongs to him, and only to him, to do with as he sees fit.

You are a pedantic dickwad. SO your concern is that the ownership tatus of the property is legally correct? "Good news, we purchased this this house as a fee simple absolute!"

You're just looking to defend a crappy position, and doing a bad job of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. My husband and I shopped for our car together. I am the primary user of the car. We could have both been on the financing, but my husband has a remarkable credit score, whereas mine was just regular good at the time. He made all the payments, but in all practicality, it's my car. I drive it daily. We share plently of other expenses. For instance, I generally pay for all the groceries, doesn't mean the groceries aren't also 'his.' Geez.

You are *married* and the car purchased during your marriage is marital property. If he dies his property automatically goes to you. If you were unmarried he would need to have a will stating that the car went to you and, remember, one false move and he could take that car away from you and change his will.

If he owned a house before you married and the house was in his name only that property belongs to him, and only to him, to do with as he sees fit.

You are a pedantic dickwad. SO your concern is that the ownership tatus of the property is legally correct? "Good news, we purchased this this house as a fee simple absolute!"

You're just looking to defend a crappy position, and doing a bad job of it.

No. You either own a property or you do not. You either are married or you are not. You have either graduated from college and have a degree or you do not.

Walking around wishing that these things were true does not make them true. If your "husband" (not really married) dies and the house that he has rightful ownership passes to your "MIL"(not really your MIL because you aren't really married) then you will have some gigantic problems that you would not have if you actually DID own your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

If you look up my house in the property database for DC I am the only one listed as the owner even though my husband is a co-owner and also on the mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. My husband and I shopped for our car together. I am the primary user of the car. We could have both been on the financing, but my husband has a remarkable credit score, whereas mine was just regular good at the time. He made all the payments, but in all practicality, it's my car. I drive it daily. We share plently of other expenses. For instance, I generally pay for all the groceries, doesn't mean the groceries aren't also 'his.' Geez.

You are *married* and the car purchased during your marriage is marital property. If he dies his property automatically goes to you. If you were unmarried he would need to have a will stating that the car went to you and, remember, one false move and he could take that car away from you and change his will.

If he owned a house before you married and the house was in his name only that property belongs to him, and only to him, to do with as he sees fit.

You are a pedantic dickwad. SO your concern is that the ownership tatus of the property is legally correct? "Good news, we purchased this this house as a fee simple absolute!"

You're just looking to defend a crappy position, and doing a bad job of it.

No. You either own a property or you do not. You either are married or you are not. You have either graduated from college and have a degree or you do not.

Walking around wishing that these things were true does not make them true. If your "husband" (not really married) dies and the house that he has rightful ownership passes to your "MIL"(not really your MIL because you aren't really married) then you will have some gigantic problems that you would not have if you actually DID own your house.

You’ve gone far afield here. Property can easily pass to a partner through a will or a trust. No idea why you’d try to dig into the minutia of someone else’s financial arrangements. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

If you look up my house in the property database for DC I am the only one listed as the owner even though my husband is a co-owner and also on the mortgage.

Interesting. Do property tax assessments come addressed to both of you or just to you? I'm the one who mentioned that my name isn't listed as a seller on the county website property search. But I definitely owned that house and the property tax bill always came to us in both of our names plus, before the sale, my name was listed as a co-owner of the property.

It's water under the bridge now, the check from the sale came to both of us (we're now married) and we put the money towards a down payment on our current home. It was just odd to see myself no longer mentioned on the ownership listing on the county website. I had owned (and paid taxes) on that property for nearly 20 years before we sold it.

I guess the lesson is - you can't always go by what the website says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. My husband and I shopped for our car together. I am the primary user of the car. We could have both been on the financing, but my husband has a remarkable credit score, whereas mine was just regular good at the time. He made all the payments, but in all practicality, it's my car. I drive it daily. We share plently of other expenses. For instance, I generally pay for all the groceries, doesn't mean the groceries aren't also 'his.' Geez.

You are *married* and the car purchased during your marriage is marital property. If he dies his property automatically goes to you. If you were unmarried he would need to have a will stating that the car went to you and, remember, one false move and he could take that car away from you and change his will.

If he owned a house before you married and the house was in his name only that property belongs to him, and only to him, to do with as he sees fit.

You are a pedantic dickwad. SO your concern is that the ownership tatus of the property is legally correct? "Good news, we purchased this this house as a fee simple absolute!"

You're just looking to defend a crappy position, and doing a bad job of it.

No. You either own a property or you do not. You either are married or you are not. You have either graduated from college and have a degree or you do not.

Walking around wishing that these things were true does not make them true. If your "husband" (not really married) dies and the house that he has rightful ownership passes to your "MIL"(not really your MIL because you aren't really married) then you will have some gigantic problems that you would not have if you actually DID own your house.

You’ve gone far afield here. Property can easily pass to a partner through a will or a trust. No idea why you’d try to dig into the minutia of someone else’s financial arrangements. Let it go.

Of course property can pass via a will or trust. The question remains whether there even is a will or trust in the first place and don't forget that wills can be changed and so can certain types of trusts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’d be worried that the house is not in her name. Does she even know?

My husband pays the mortgage but we’re both on the title. My neighbor has an abusive husband who hid from her that her name wasn’t on the title, and she only found out years later.

That's kind of impossible to hide. Was she not there at closing? Did she not realize that she wasn't signing any documents when everyone else at the table was signing hundreds of pages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I’d be worried that the house is not in her name. Does she even know?

My husband pays the mortgage but we’re both on the title. My neighbor has an abusive husband who hid from her that her name wasn’t on the title, and she only found out years later.

That's kind of impossible to hide. Was she not there at closing? Did she not realize that she wasn't signing any documents when everyone else at the table was signing hundreds of pages?

My guess would be that she has never actually owned a home before and was not aware of the closing process. Maybe he told her that she was a co-owner and that was good enough for her to believe that she did own the home. Stupid/naive/gullible on her part? Yes, absolutely. But can I believe that some people are that stupid/naive/gullible and that there are people who take advantage of their ignorance? Oh, yes.

[Anonymous]

I also believe that there are people to claim things about themselves that are not true. Maybe they are trying to impress people, maybe they are trying to make themselves appear to have things more together than they really do. They have their reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I’d be worried that the house is not in her name. Does she even know?

My husband pays the mortgage but we’re both on the title. My neighbor has an abusive husband who hid from her that her name wasn’t on the title, and she only found out years later.

That's kind of impossible to hide. Was she not there at closing? Did she not realize that she wasn't signing any documents when everyone else at the table was signing hundreds of pages?

PP you replied to. No idea. I just feel sorry for her.

OP should really stop to consider this, as well as the possibility another poster mentioned that her relative really is a co-owner but that the website only lists one.