Relative misrepresented that they bought a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

That could be a mistake especially if the wife did not change her name. Unfortunately, records are not always accurate. They could be married and have a reason to just have one name on the deed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is right. If he is not on the title he is not a owner. So he is a liar regardless of circumstances.

I agree and for everyone else. Those are public records. In my county I can look up ownership and from the deed of trust how much they owe.

Realtors use those records and many other professionals. I know many single women that smartly look up the guy BEFORE they get involved. Does he indeed own his home? Is he divorced? Are there liens, has he has any orders of protection in the past or anything else that may indicate a poor character. All are pubic records fyi.

OP good for you. I use to have a friend that lied a LOT. Did the same thing, told me they just bought a home when they were actually renting. My hair stylist couldn't understand why her new boyfriend was so cheap. He had a great job, but he embarrassed her in front of her friends about paying for some drinks and appetizers. We looked him up and he was really under water with his mortgage and had not been responsible with money.

Before I rent a vacation home, I look to see who the owner is via online tax records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

Ummm, nooo. They sound like frauds who invited people to their "wedding" and pretended to get "married". In reality, they are not married, they are both still single and could, in fact, marry someone else if that's what they wanted to do.

I don't understand the elaborate lies that some people tell. I would never trust a word they said ever again that is for sure, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

I don't understand. How did you find out they weren't married and what does the bolded mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

Ummm, nooo. They sound like frauds who invited people to their "wedding" and pretended to get "married". In reality, they are not married, they are both still single and could, in fact, marry someone else if that's what they wanted to do.

I don't understand the elaborate lies that some people tell. I would never trust a word they said ever again that is for sure, though.

So, it has been two years. In that amount of time, they could have divorced, then reconciled, bought a house in one name, not wanting to jump back into marriage. There are other possibilities like a simple mistake on the deed.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I moved our family out of state. I kept my job and just shifted to a remote position. My husband had a new job. When we bought our new house I took out the new mortgage because we got a much better rate with my long term employment record alone rather than including my husband who had just switched jobs. That doesn't change the fact that we are both paying the bills and in our eyes we both bought the house. I don't think we are misleading anyone when we say "we bought a new house".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

That could be a mistake especially if the wife did not change her name. Unfortunately, records are not always accurate. They could be married and have a reason to just have one name on the deed.

No not a mistake. Warranty deeds and deeds of trust always denote single or married for obvious legal reasons. These were 3 deeds at different times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you plan to do with the information, op? You can look up any public record you want. Anybody else can too, that’s why it’s called a public record.

Some of the responses on this thread surprise me, it makes me wonder if you all freak out because “a stranger has my address” while that stranger is the substitute letter carrier or something.

Also, plenty of you would be suggesting that a dear friend “check public records” to make sure that a boyfriend isn’t “secretly married” “really owns that cool car he took you out in” “really lives where he says he lives”, there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking up public data on anything or anyone you want. It isn’t stalking or nosy, and having dealt with a stalker, I do wish people would use the term correctly.

Onto you op, I do wonder what you plan to do with this information. My husband thinks you are not a nice person which is interesting since he loves checking out public records. He may be right about you.

I’d want to know why you posted this at all given that you were not doing anything wrong, and what you plan to do with the information. Do you plan to say at Thanksgiving dinner “It isn’t really your house dear” in a way that will make this relative feel bad, then you are not a nice person. Do you want to explain the risks of living in a house where she is not on the title or deed, then ok, you can say your piece once and only once. Have you been asked to contribute to Sally’s house” only to find that the money you gave her went to a boyfriend? You have a right to be annoyed and to say “I’ll never contribute to anything again for her or anybody else, that is how much this upsets me”. Then leave it alone, nobody can take your money without your permission, if they do it’s a crime… literally.

Only you know your motivations for posting, and what you intend to do. I’d hope you acted with love and kindness or if you can’t do that, do and say nothing realizing that you are not finantially, morally or legally responsible for another adult even one you love.

Pretty simple imo. She suspected she was lying and checked her story.

Don't blame the cop. Blame the person doing wrong like her lying relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

I remember she really wanted to get married. He was dragging his feet and probably just wanted to live together. He probably figured it would get her off his back, and maybe her family didn't approve. A lot of people still believe a woman is not being smart by living with a guy long term. It's still not a real commitment.

Still that was underhanded whatever the reason.

Ummm, nooo. They sound like frauds who invited people to their "wedding" and pretended to get "married". In reality, they are not married, they are both still single and could, in fact, marry someone else if that's what they wanted to do.

I don't understand the elaborate lies that some people tell. I would never trust a word they said ever again that is for sure, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

I remember she really wanted to get married. He was dragging his feet and probably just wanted to live together. He probably figured it would get her off his back, and maybe her family didn't approve. A lot of people still believe a woman is not being smart by living with a guy long term. It's still not a real commitment.

Still that was underhanded whatever the reason.

Ummm, nooo. They sound like frauds who invited people to their "wedding" and pretended to get "married". In reality, they are not married, they are both still single and could, in fact, marry someone else if that's what they wanted to do.

I don't understand the elaborate lies that some people tell. I would never trust a word they said ever again that is for sure, though.

I messed up that post above. Corrected:

I remember she really wanted to get married. He was dragging his feet and probably just wanted to live together. He probably figured it would get her off his back, and maybe her family didn't approve. A lot of people still believe a woman is not being smart by living with a guy long term. It's still not a real commitment.

Still that was underhanded whatever the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

I remember she really wanted to get married. He was dragging his feet and probably just wanted to live together. He probably figured it would get her off his back, and maybe her family didn't approve. A lot of people still believe a woman is not being smart by living with a guy long term. It's still not a real commitment.

Still that was underhanded whatever the reason.

Ummm, nooo. They sound like frauds who invited people to their "wedding" and pretended to get "married". In reality, they are not married, they are both still single and could, in fact, marry someone else if that's what they wanted to do.

I don't understand the elaborate lies that some people tell. I would never trust a word they said ever again that is for sure, though.

I messed up that post above. Corrected:

I remember she really wanted to get married. He was dragging his feet and probably just wanted to live together. He probably figured it would get her off his back, and maybe her family didn't approve. A lot of people still believe a woman is not being smart by living with a guy long term. It's still not a real commitment.

Still that was underhanded whatever the reason.

No matter what their so called reasoning was, they invited a bunch of people to a phony "wedding" and pretended to get "married". That is pathetic in an epic sort of way that is pretty indefensible. I'll bet they also asked for cash in lieu of gifts, right?