Relative misrepresented that they bought a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
^ Oh, and start addressing your posts as the OP.
Stop acting like you're not yourself and that you're in support of the OP.

We all know these are from you -- say you're you in your posts.

Not true, I’m OP and only wrote the initial post.

How do you feel about the reaction you've gotten OP?

I’m OP. Not surprised. I will say I haven’t gossiped about the information I learned. I’m not about to tell anyone about it. I can see everyone’s point that it’s none of my business. As far as creepy, it’s so easy to look up and other friends/relatives have admitted doing the same thing to their acquaintances/friends/relatives. I don’t fall in the category of people who are always checking up on others (I know someone like this). Most of the time, I really don’t care. This relative, however, was pretty smug about buying a house (among other things they brag about). I was skeptical because they have a bankruptcy, owes back child support, and has a low paying job.

The bolded is why the person is not named as owner. The bank probably would not allow a loan with this person on it. They were a detriment to getting a loan with good terms. The person that actually bought/got a loan on the house can add the relative to the title at anytime by doing the proper paperwork.
Also, some property records will name one person as owner..so online property records are not really accurate at identifying all owners.

[Anonymous]

Unf your cousin sounds like a loser so I’d just discount anything he says and ignore.

Sounds like his current Gf, the one who actually bought a house, knows this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
^ Oh, and start addressing your posts as the OP.
Stop acting like you're not yourself and that you're in support of the OP.

We all know these are from you -- say you're you in your posts.

Not true, I’m OP and only wrote the initial post.

How do you feel about the reaction you've gotten OP?

I’m OP. Not surprised. I will say I haven’t gossiped about the information I learned. I’m not about to tell anyone about it. I can see everyone’s point that it’s none of my business. As far as creepy, it’s so easy to look up and other friends/relatives have admitted doing the same thing to their acquaintances/friends/relatives. I don’t fall in the category of people who are always checking up on others (I know someone like this). Most of the time, I really don’t care. This relative, however, was pretty smug about buying a house (among other things they brag about). I was skeptical because they have a bankruptcy, owes back child support, and has a low paying job.

Some people are just curious. Looking up info can actually become a good skill. Instead, of looking up info to discredit someone, why not try looking up info that might actually help people. It is better to be known as the go to person, with good research skills, who can help people make better
decisions than to take a chance that you will accidentally let some personal info slip and be labeled a gossip or worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

Hmmm. Maybe they lied because they have nosy judgemental relatives.

[Anonymous]

One time for a purchase, I wasn't listed online on the title- I had looked it up online at one point, saw it, and DH and I laughed about it. I was actually on the title/both names on the mortgage, etc. It never occurred to me that someone would think they had dirt on me.

So you don't really know what you think you know, and even if you did, there's no way to share/show that you know without looking like a mean jerk, even if this family member is a shiftless loser. So be low-key smug, I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unf your cousin sounds like a loser so I’d just discount anything he says and ignore.

Sounds like his current Gf, the one who actually bought a house, knows this as well.

+1

[Anonymous]

"This relative, however, was pretty smug about buying a house (among other things they brag about). I was skeptical because they have a bankruptcy, owes back child support, and has a low paying job."

Just ignore this relative, smile and nod, repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unf your cousin sounds like a loser so I’d just discount anything he says and ignore.

Sounds like his current Gf, the one who actually bought a house, knows this as well.

Or couldn't get a loan with him on it.
Which is probably best for the gf in the long run; if she's smart she won't put his name on anything.

I would just let it go OP. Yes, it's irritating because he sounds like he's rubbing peoples noses in it.

[Anonymous]

Whats the big deal? Are you talking about me. My spouse and i recently bought a house. Only my spouses name is on the deed. We've been marries 15+ years. If we divorce i still get half the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats the big deal? Are you talking about me. My spouse and i recently bought a house. Only my spouses name is on the deed. We've been marries 15+ years. If we divorce i still get half the house.

No, no one is talking about you whatsoever nor anyone with your characteristics. Thx for playing tho.

If you know someone with a low paid job who skips out on their alimony, has too much debt, mooches off their girlfriend, and loves to brag about it, please play again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

Agree with others who said this is awful of you. But also, FYI, our records were incorrect on the website and we had to call to make sure the actual record was correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is right. If he is not on the title he is not a owner. So he is a liar regardless of circumstances.

I agree and for everyone else. Those are public records. In my county I can look up ownership and from the deed of trust how much they owe.

Realtors use those records and many other professionals. I know many single women that smartly look up the guy BEFORE they get involved. Does he indeed own his home? Is he divorced? Are there liens, has he has any orders of protection in the past or anything else that may indicate a poor character. All are pubic records fyi.

OP good for you. I use to have a friend that lied a LOT. Did the same thing, told me they just bought a home when they were actually renting. My hair stylist couldn't understand why her new boyfriend was so cheap. He had a great job, but he embarrassed her in front of her friends about paying for some drinks and appetizers. We looked him up and he was really under water with his mortgage and had not been responsible with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone was congratulatory and proud of 40-something family member for settling down and buying a home. Turns out from public records that their SO actually bought it and is the only one on title. Why would someone lie about something like that? Would your opinion of this person change?

OP I'm assuming they were bragging at the family get together. And wanted to be perceived as finally getting their act together.

We knew this couple for quite a few years and FINALLY they decided to get married. There wasn't a church wedding but a minster/priest or so I assumed pronounced them at the restaurant. It was a nice hotel and they had rented the room for the reception. Nice wedding dress - the whole nine yards. Most the guests stayed the night at the hotel. Actually one of the nicer weddings I've been too.

About 2 years later they bought a home. I wanted to look up their address and ended up finding out they were never legally married. Blew me away. Sure enough the warranty deeds etc. since the wedding said "single" man/woman. I felt like it was very deceitful and beneath them.

Who cares, honestly? Sounds like they’re more together and committed than a lot of married couples who got that piece of paper and then cheapened the institution by getting divorced. Marriage doesn’t mean much anymore when so few of the people who take their vows can actually uphold them. Maybe they had a good reason for not getting legally married but wanted to show their love for each other. You would have never known unless you were being nosy.

[Anonymous]

What do you plan to do with the information, op? You can look up any public record you want. Anybody else can too, that’s why it’s called a public record.

Some of the responses on this thread surprise me, it makes me wonder if you all freak out because “a stranger has my address” while that stranger is the substitute letter carrier or something.

Also, plenty of you would be suggesting that a dear friend “check public records” to make sure that a boyfriend isn’t “secretly married” “really owns that cool car he took you out in” “really lives where he says he lives”, there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking up public data on anything or anyone you want. It isn’t stalking or nosy, and having dealt with a stalker, I do wish people would use the term correctly.

Onto you op, I do wonder what you plan to do with this information. My husband thinks you are not a nice person which is interesting since he loves checking out public records. He may be right about you.

I’d want to know why you posted this at all given that you were not doing anything wrong, and what you plan to do with the information. Do you plan to say at Thanksgiving dinner “It isn’t really your house dear” in a way that will make this relative feel bad, then you are not a nice person. Do you want to explain the risks of living in a house where she is not on the title or deed, then ok, you can say your piece once and only once. Have you been asked to contribute to Sally’s house” only to find that the money you gave her went to a boyfriend? You have a right to be annoyed and to say “I’ll never contribute to anything again for her or anybody else, that is how much this upsets me”. Then leave it alone, nobody can take your money without your permission, if they do it’s a crime… literally.

Only you know your motivations for posting, and what you intend to do. I’d hope you acted with love and kindness or if you can’t do that, do and say nothing realizing that you are not finantially, morally or legally responsible for another adult even one you love.