Advice on how to get over not having another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? You have two healthy kids. STOP WHINING and learn to count your blessings. May be you need to work outside the home - your kids are in school all day and you have too much available time on your hands.

OP is not whining. Simply sharing how she feels. No need for a nasty useless reply.

[Anonymous]

OP I would not have another. Not because you couldn't, but because your husband doesn't want to. And in the instance of decisions like this, the person who says no "wins" just by default.

I like to periodically remind myself, that I don't always get what I want. I know that seems simple but we're so used to feeling entitled that we sometimes forget.

[Anonymous]

I want a third also. DH is on board but I am worried about the impact on my health as I was very sick during my last pregnancy. I have two girls and feel the urge to try one more time for a boy. I also don't know if I feel like pausing my career again but the urge is definitely there to still have another baby. I told DH maybe I will get a puppy or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? You have two healthy kids. STOP WHINING and learn to count your blessings. May be you need to work outside the home - your kids are in school all day and you have too much available time on your hands.

OP is not whining. Simply sharing how she feels. No need for a nasty useless reply.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Note the SAHMs saying they “needed” a third. Hmmm.

I didn’t note anyone saying anything even close to that. I think you are projecting.

A number of posters have strongly implied that (04:59) and people are even suggesting tricking her husband into having another one. Gross.

How is that related to being a SAHM? Tricking someone to get pregnant is gross no matter the circumstances.

OP and 04:59 both stay home. You've never heard of SAHMs wanting more kids so they have an excuse to continue not working? Open your eyes, honey.

Get back to your desk, honey.

Good one!

All these women saying having no babies makes them feel useless - you think they have fulfilling careers?

You are just a nasty B!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the SAHMs saying they “needed” a third. Hmmm.

I didn’t note anyone saying anything even close to that. I think you are projecting.

A number of posters have strongly implied that (04:59) and people are even suggesting tricking her husband into having another one. Gross.

How is that related to being a SAHM? Tricking someone to get pregnant is gross no matter the circumstances.

OP and 04:59 both stay home. You've never heard of SAHMs wanting more kids so they have an excuse to continue not working? Open your eyes, honey.

OP here. I don't need an excuse to continue not working. I won't be going back to work regardless of whether we have more kids or not. We are financially secure, and I take care of a lot of things at home (in addition to the kids) so that my husband and I can have a pleasant, organized and healthy lifestyle. He earns well, and I had a high-earning job before kids and saved aggressively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the SAHMs saying they “needed” a third. Hmmm.

I didn’t note anyone saying anything even close to that. I think you are projecting.

A number of posters have strongly implied that (04:59) and people are even suggesting tricking her husband into having another one. Gross.

How is that related to being a SAHM? Tricking someone to get pregnant is gross no matter the circumstances.

OP and 04:59 both stay home. You've never heard of SAHMs wanting more kids so they have an excuse to continue not working? Open your eyes, honey.

I just realized that I am 4:59. I worked until my older child was in kindergarten. I wanted to have a third child when I was working. We had 2 boys and I wanted to go for the girl. I didn’t have a third so that I wouldn’t have to go back to work. I had just stopped working.

DH earns a seven figure income. I don’t need to have another baby to not go back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the SAHMs saying they “needed” a third. Hmmm.

I didn’t note anyone saying anything even close to that. I think you are projecting.

A number of posters have strongly implied that (04:59) and people are even suggesting tricking her husband into having another one. Gross.

How is that related to being a SAHM? Tricking someone to get pregnant is gross no matter the circumstances.

OP and 04:59 both stay home. You've never heard of SAHMs wanting more kids so they have an excuse to continue not working? Open your eyes, honey.

Honey, we can practically smell how bitter you are.

[Anonymous]

i feel you. my 2nd is 11 months and i thought i'd be done. i feel like i want another, but refuse to admit it to anyone. if i still feel this way when he's 2 i may broach the subject with DH. he'd be thrilled b/c we have two boys and he very much wants a little girl.

i don't know if you can get over it but you will accept it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the SAHMs saying they “needed” a third. Hmmm.

I didn’t note anyone saying anything even close to that. I think you are projecting.

A number of posters have strongly implied that (04:59) and people are even suggesting tricking her husband into having another one. Gross.

How is that related to being a SAHM? Tricking someone to get pregnant is gross no matter the circumstances.

OP and 04:59 both stay home. You've never heard of SAHMs wanting more kids so they have an excuse to continue not working? Open your eyes, honey.

Honey, we can practically smell how bitter you are.

Bitter about easily being able to not work, and working anyway? Uh, ok!

OP, the answer is don't have another kid if you and your husband don't both really want one.

[Anonymous]

Foster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foster

Actually, this isn't a bad train of thought. I'm the mom of the almost-grown only from earlier in the thread, and my husband and I think about this sometimes. It's not a thing to take lightly, but we are considering it.

[Anonymous]

It's mostly hormonal, seriously. We had our third when I was 42 and we are now in the throes of teens and tweens and it is HARD. So much harder than taking care of little kids. Of course we adore our kids but I look at our friends with one or two and think how nice that would be. Of course we don't have it as tough as our friends who went for their third and got preemie twins who still have a ton of health problems, so their family of two became a family of four.

TL;DR - my advice is to embrace the family you have and throw your extra love and energy into yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foster

Please read this thread before tossing that idea out there lightly:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/853191.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's mostly hormonal, seriously. We had our third when I was 42 and we are now in the throes of teens and tweens and it is HARD. So much harder than taking care of little kids. Of course we adore our kids but I look at our friends with one or two and think how nice that would be. Of course we don't have it as tough as our friends who went for their third and got preemie twins who still have a ton of health problems, so their family of two became a family of four.

TL;DR - my advice is to embrace the family you have and throw your extra love and energy into yourself!

You are not the first person I've heard express this sentiment and it really helps me. I don't mean to sound like I am benefitting at your expense, but I have a 3 yo and a 10 month old (not the OP) and MAJOR baby fever, especially as that 10 month old creeps toward toddlerhood. Once she starts walking I'm going to fall apart. But knowing that this may pass and that I will almost definitely not enjoy having three older kids helps me with this feeling. It also helps to calm my jealousy over people I know with three. Having babies/toddlers is so all-consuming that it can be hard to ever imagine yourself with three teenagers but I just try to trust that I will evolve to be happy and satisfied with a family of four that never feels like anything is missing.