Parents wanting to leave $1M home to sibling

[Anonymous]

My parents wanted to buy me a new car (we were going to buy a 10k used car, they wanted their grandkids in something with modern safety features, we didn’t have the money) and my sister had to talk them out of giving her an equal amount of cash. I can’t even imagine what’s going through these people’s minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents always divided everything completely equally among the 3 of us. My husband and I do much better financially and own 2 homes— but they have it set for all assets to be divided equally.

That said, we have given $ and helped our siblings/nephews when needed.

My parents treating us equally ensured we didn’t have squabbles and all get along.

+1

[Anonymous]

I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

Maybe you will one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

Maybe you will one day.

No, my family's fine. May you have better luck.

[Anonymous]

Not your place to be making these calculations and plans. Its their money and they decide. Perhaps they want to make sure both of their kids do well in life and perhaps your sister needs the money more than you. Relax and be happy with what you have.

[Anonymous]

OP was likely the black sheep of the family while her sister must be the golden child. I second buying out the house from the sister although I dont think the OP wants a second mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

x10000

It's like one last large F.U.

[Anonymous]

As a parent I would hope to be equal with my kids. Your parents don’t seem to have this same philosophy. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Youur parents are trying to provide for your sister. Sorry its not fair but its their choice.

If they brought it up, though, it is certainly fair to have an even tempered private conversation.... once.

But OP, don’t worry about the next generation. If your sister has no money she will want to sell and if you can’t buy her out you will end up selling, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

Maybe you will one day.

No, my family's fine. May you have better luck.

Never say never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand parents who do things like this. Do they seriously not care about the relationships between their children once they are gone?

Maybe you will one day.

No, my family's fine. May you have better luck.

Never say never

I'm sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the comments, good & bad. Just to clarify, typical working class family. Mother stayed home, father worked in an office. A family member sold the home to my mother for a fraction of what it's worth. It's an old home. Parents retired a few years ago. Sold their home and moved into this. It was a very old home and parents renovated it with money from the sale of their home. This home is 10 minutes drive to the beach in Florida. The value of it now is approximately $1M. They don't have a large amount of money in savings and this is by far their biggest asset.

I know it is their decision, but I want them to make it with some facts. I think it would make a nice rental or vacation rental. Profits could be placed in a fund for taxes, insurances, maintenance and repairs. After that, we could use the profits for our kid's college, etc. But hearing some of the stories of problems generations later, I think maybe selling it and splitting the profits would be the best way to keep the peace. I hope my parents would agree too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents wanted to buy me a new car (we were going to buy a 10k used car, they wanted their grandkids in something with modern safety features, we didn’t have the money) and my sister had to talk them out of giving her an equal amount of cash. I can’t even imagine what’s going through these people’s minds.

your parents were going to give your sister the equivalent amount in cash? fwiw, i think that is a good impulse on your parents' part. my parents acted in that way as best as they could with their limited assets. i don't think any of us kids ended up feeling that one of us had been favored more financially than the other. i try to do same with my kids. dd likes to shop, so i try to get ds the equivalent so he doesn't feel as if he is being overlooked. he prefers more expensive items and understands that his shoes may cost the same as her three outfits. good on your parents as well as your sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents wanted to buy me a new car (we were going to buy a 10k used car, they wanted their grandkids in something with modern safety features, we didn’t have the money) and my sister had to talk them out of giving her an equal amount of cash. I can’t even imagine what’s going through these people’s minds.

your parents were going to give your sister the equivalent amount in cash? fwiw, i think that is a good impulse on your parents' part. my parents acted in that way as best as they could with their limited assets. i don't think any of us kids ended up feeling that one of us had been favored more financially than the other. i try to do same with my kids. dd likes to shop, so i try to get ds the equivalent so he doesn't feel as if he is being overlooked. he prefers more expensive items and understands that his shoes may cost the same as her three outfits. good on your parents as well as your sister!

+1, good on the parents for offering, and good on the sister for refusing too. But totally fine if she had accepted it as well. This is the way its done.