Should I tell his wife?

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself why you're addicted to drama. Sleeping with a married man - drama. Being susceptible to "love bombing" - drama. Even considering for a second telling his wife - drama.

What is it with you creating drama for yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Later or sooner his wife will find out and come after you. Be prepared to have facial surgery and hair implants after the encounter.

Complete nonsense. Most affairs are never discovered and people go on living happily none the wiser

You live in a bubble. I know cases, including my sister, where the wife discovered the affair and went after the other woman. I

[Anonymous]

You’ve done enough harm. Leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

No judgment here. Just understand your audience. Lots of women here over 35 (myself included) who don’t want to start over so they’d rather just not know and blame some woman for targeting their husbands. Men, on the other hand, are aware of this and continue to win. OP, I’d want to know too but I don’t think that the average woman wants to.

[Anonymous]

People get killed, shot, or disappear in these situations. It is not worth your life. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

No judgment here. Just understand your audience. Lots of women here over 35 (myself included) who don’t want to start over so they’d rather just not know and blame some woman for targeting their husbands. Men, on the other hand, are aware of this and continue to win. OP, I’d want to know too but I don’t think that the average woman wants to.

Exactly this. Many people on this board are mom's and dads, this the M in DCUM. We have decent marriages but the sex life suffers with kids and marriage longevity and our secret worst fear is DH steps out and falls in love and disrupts the smooth sailing ahead. I am not naive, I am sure my DH is typical and would love to bang some trashy girl. I don't need to know especially if it's over

[Anonymous]

You knew he was married and yet you still made the choice to sleep with him. You are a crappy person just like he is.

You have a lot of nerve trying to expose him. Why not do some deep self-reflection and expose yourself to yourself instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You knew he was married and yet you still made the choice to sleep with him. You are a crappy person just like he is.

You have a lot of nerve trying to expose him. Why not do some deep self-reflection and expose yourself to yourself instead.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

A lot of us have done something we are ashamed of but that does not mean we have all slept with a married person. Your thought process confuses me. After the first time you slept with him why was there a second time? Didn't you feel the need to tell the wife after the first time? I'm honestly curious and hope you will answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

I’m a little unclear - would it have been ok if he were not a habitual cheater and you were the only time he cheated?

Do you think it’s somehow less worse that you only slept with a married man twice?

Do you feel less worse because you think he love-bombed you? You were clearly OK times #1 and 2 thinking that you were sleeping with a married guy because he “loved you”.

You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. You should get yourself to therapy ASAP to figure out why you would do such an awful thing. What are your (messed up) notions about love that made you feel that sleeping with him was right and good for you?

Plan on therapy and celebacy for at least a year while you fix yourself so that you stop damaging other people. Own your mistake fully - you can’t simy do that by tatling on him to her.

That said - only when you are fully able to own your role in this and apologize sincerely, should you reveal the affair.

As the ex wife of a cheater - I’d want to know. Knowledge is power and cheating is abuse, abuse that you participated in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. How nice it must be for all of you rude posters to never have done something you feel ashamed of. I slept with him two times - didn’t carry on an affair. This is not my habit. I’m considering telling his wife (strongly leaning toward not, now) because it’s evident to me that this man is a habitual cheater. If it were me, I would want to know. However, everyone is different and perhaps she’s turning a blind eye. Given his behavior I’m sure she’ll discover something at some point.

I’m washing my hands of the situation.

No judgment here. Just understand your audience. Lots of women here over 35 (myself included) who don’t want to start over so they’d rather just not know and blame some woman for targeting their husbands. Men, on the other hand, are aware of this and continue to win. OP, I’d want to know too but I don’t think that the average woman wants to.

Exactly this. Many people on this board are mom's and dads, this the M in DCUM. We have decent marriages but the sex life suffers with kids and marriage longevity and our secret worst fear is DH steps out and falls in love and disrupts the smooth sailing ahead. I am not naive, I am sure my DH is typical and would love to bang some trashy girl. I don't need to know especially if it's over

I'm that DH. Would I love to bang some trashy girl? Yes. Do I? Nope. Did I? Nope. I'm also looking forward to the smooth sailing and now at 50+ value that much more. But still, Honey, would it kill you to initiate sex every once in a while? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

You did the crime, now do the time. Be quiet and don’t say anything to his wife.

[Anonymous]

Just let her know she should be routinely tested for STDs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You knew he was married and yet you still made the choice to sleep with him. You are a crappy person just like he is.

You have a lot of nerve trying to expose him. Why not do some deep self-reflection and expose yourself to yourself instead.

Hahaha! This is good advice for OP. I can't believe she has the nerve to talk about him being a cheater when she's just as rotten. She claims only 2 times, but she knew he was MARRIED! I'm not here saying I'm perfect but I would never, nor have been with a married guy.