Should I tell his wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would not. DW knows. Guaranteed. But prefers to keep her kids in a parental union. Move on.

I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am moved on. I won’t be involving myself further. As a PP said, not my circus, not my monkeys.

That is morally repugnant. People deserve agency in their lives. It became your circus when you became the essential piece to a man violating his marriage vows.
You are really gross. Your rationalizing is gross. What a sad world we live in. You are not one of the good guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am moved on. I won’t be involving myself further. As a PP said, not my circus, not my monkeys.

That is morally repugnant. People deserve agency in their lives. It became your circus when you became the essential piece to a man violating his marriage vows.
You are really gross. Your rationalizing is gross. What a sad world we live in. You are not one of the good guys.

So you’re saying I should tell her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long and short, I slept with a married man. Twice. It was a fling, he love-bombed me to bits, I called it off after a few weeks out of crippling guilt - we’ve gone no contact. He’s not a clever cheater - I know his real name, address, job, etc etc. I also have his wife’s information.

Now a dilemma: do I tell his wife? They’re mid-forties, married nearly twenty years, two teens. Established. That said, he mentioned that he’d cheated on her in the past and after much struggle they were able to stay married. I feel sorry for the woman, as I’m sure I’m not the only one. But maybe she doesn’t want to know.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am moved on. I won’t be involving myself further. As a PP said, not my circus, not my monkeys.

That is morally repugnant. People deserve agency in their lives. It became your circus when you became the essential piece to a man violating his marriage vows.
You are really gross. Your rationalizing is gross. What a sad world we live in. You are not one of the good guys.

So you’re saying I should tell her?

Yes, that psycho wants you to blow up the guy’s world, and his wife’s world as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am moved on. I won’t be involving myself further. As a PP said, not my circus, not my monkeys.

That is morally repugnant. People deserve agency in their lives. It became your circus when you became the essential piece to a man violating his marriage vows.
You are really gross. Your rationalizing is gross. What a sad world we live in. You are not one of the good guys.

So you’re saying I should tell her?

Yes, that psycho wants you to blow up the guy’s world, and his wife’s world as well.

No they aren't a psycho. At least tell her to get tested, be decent.

OP get yourself tested please, I suspect he's been everywhere.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely want to know; send her an anonymous message. She needs to get tested, and altho he's cheated in the past maybe she doesn't know he's still MIA.

[Anonymous]

All of the people telling you to tell her are assuming that both the wife and her husband are rational people.

If you want to risk your life, go right ahead.


Move on. Leave them to their shit.

[Anonymous]

btw, you did know that adultery is a misdemeanor in virginia and in maryland...

..either party may have way more to lose (and motive for harming you) if you don't keep your mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the future if you are love bombed and the guy is married
you just say no.

There are plenty of quite eligible single and legally divorced men available to date so that you don't have to
compromise your morals.

In the future if you are love-bombed, just say no. (FTFY). Love-bombing is a major red flag for emotional abuse and instability. Mature adults wait to get to know someone over time before professing live. Mature stable adults run from love-bombers.

Get yourself to therapy OP.