Would you let someone homophobic instruct your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a happily married 2 Mom family with an adopted DD who is now 7.
DD does a martial art and I just found the facebook page of one of the instructors ( He did not friend me on fb) and there are some ignorant and hateful posts on his wall that can be seen by anyone. Most recent was a few days ago when he posted from a site that says "Sociologists say homosexual parenting harms children"

He has always been polite to me and I have not noticed any overt behavior that is different towards my child. But, I am concerned she could potentially be held back by his beliefs and it just really bothers me that he is even around my child.
Would you do or say anything?

Op I wouldn't do anything or say anything unless he directly said something to you or your daughter that is homophobic. I think it is a fine line and while I don't agree with his viewpoint he is allowed to express his opinion. What if the instructor was gay and someone pulled their kids out of the class because they didn't like the gay pride stuff they posted? You would be horrified no?

Plus, you would be only harming your child since she enjoys the activity.

OMFG. Someone pulling their kids out because they are prejudiced themselves against the pride-supporting instructor is not the same as pulling the kid out because the instructor is intolerant.

It is the same. Op never said the person did anything to her or her daughter. People can have different opinions. Even some gay people don't think that gays should be parents ( Dolce and Gabbana for one) There was a big disagreement between them and Elton John. At least this instructor didn't do anything personally to them.

I have a ripped from real life example of why a homophobic instructor is troubling even if they have not yet said something to the child. My 8 year old was at camp this summer and said to one of her counselors "did you know something about me, I have two moms" and the counselor thankfully said something like "that's cool!" For an extracurricular activity, I don't want to put my kid in the position of potentially having her family denigrated, if I already know in advance about the person's beliefs. With a classroom teacher, it's a little trickier and I would make an appointment and have a conversation about what they would say/not say. You could just have a conversation with the instructor, but that takes a lot of emotional energy.

That is the exact opposite of a troubling example.

[Anonymous]

Not just no, but HELL NO! First, homophobic people scare the shit out of me. They are too often the ones sexually abusing kids. Also, I don’t give my money to bigots if I can avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe me, there are lots of people who disagree with you on issues like this; the only difference here is that the instructor got outed.

Choosing to post publicly on facebook is outing oneself.

But it wasn't a problem until OP found out about it? What's different?

That stuff you see fit to share in public is fair game to be challenged/addressed/critiqued by anyone who reads it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge people by their behavior, not their FB posts.

this is perhaps one of the STUPIDEST things I've ever read on FB. Hand down.

FB posting IS a behavior. A behavior that publically broadcasts your values and beliefs.

People like you frighten me in that you are so incredibly ignorant. I'm sorry to be so snarky, but OMG, it's hard for me to believe the PP could actually type that out and think it makes ANY sense at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This bothers me dramatically. Not him, but you. He has views and opinions that are not the same as yours. You is open about it, although (according to you) ignorant about it. However, he treats you, and your daughter respectfully. He is professional in his work place and puts his views (that has nothing to do with the class aside but you still want to bitch about it? This is a messed up world we live in

Exactly. If you don't affirm that any sex, between anybody for any reason is good and proper, then you're considered an intolerant bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a happily married 2 Mom family with an adopted DD who is now 7.
DD does a martial art and I just found the facebook page of one of the instructors ( He did not friend me on fb) and there are some ignorant and hateful posts on his wall that can be seen by anyone. Most recent was a few days ago when he posted from a site that says "Sociologists say homosexual parenting harms children"

He has always been polite to me and I have not noticed any overt behavior that is different towards my child. But, I am concerned she could potentially be held back by his beliefs and it just really bothers me that he is even around my child.
Would you do or say anything?

Op I wouldn't do anything or say anything unless he directly said something to you or your daughter that is homophobic. I think it is a fine line and while I don't agree with his viewpoint he is allowed to express his opinion. What if the instructor was gay and someone pulled their kids out of the class because they didn't like the gay pride stuff they posted? You would be horrified no?

Plus, you would be only harming your child since she enjoys the activity.

OMFG. Someone pulling their kids out because they are prejudiced themselves against the pride-supporting instructor is not the same as pulling the kid out because the instructor is intolerant.

It is the same. Op never said the person did anything to her or her daughter. People can have different opinions. Even some gay people don't think that gays should be parents ( Dolce and Gabbana for one) There was a big disagreement between them and Elton John. At least this instructor didn't do anything personally to them.

I have a ripped from real life example of why a homophobic instructor is troubling even if they have not yet said something to the child. My 8 year old was at camp this summer and said to one of her counselors "did you know something about me, I have two moms" and the counselor thankfully said something like "that's cool!" For an extracurricular activity, I don't want to put my kid in the position of potentially having her family denigrated, if I already know in advance about the person's beliefs. With a classroom teacher, it's a little trickier and I would make an appointment and have a conversation about what they would say/not say. You could just have a conversation with the instructor, but that takes a lot of emotional energy.

That is the exact opposite of a troubling example.

Yes, it was an example that turned out really well-and I was really thankful for the counselor's response. I was thinking that people would infer from that example, that if OP's child said something similar to the instructor, the kid might get a very different response that could feel really hurtful or scary. As an adult, I have people I just don't talk about certain topics with because we agree to disagree. But, I wouldn't expect my kid to not talk about her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not just no, but HELL NO! First, homophobic people scare the shit out of me. They are too often the ones sexually abusing kids. Also, I don’t give my money to bigots if I can avoid it.

Wow - how did we go from "I'm worried that the instructor's personal views may impact how he treats my daughter" to "your martial arts instructor is probably abusing her?"

[Anonymous]

In case he’s instructing martial arts. I don’t see how child rearing would be discussed.

I’m Christian and believe what the Bible says. Homosexuality is a sin. If my instructor was gay, I wouldn’t necessarily leave the class because if above. Especially if my child loved the instructor and was thriving. I can’t control others or do i want to. It’s a free country to believe what you want. Thank the Lord. Now if this persona was the human sexuality teacher in 7th grade, then yes.

Like someone said above, it’s a fine line. If he’s polite keeps his private beliefs private. Unfortunately some people haven’t learned Facebook is not private, then I would let it go. He’s not advertising it, you searched like you wanted to find something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just no, but HELL NO! First, homophobic people scare the shit out of me. They are too often the ones sexually abusing kids. Also, I don’t give my money to bigots if I can avoid it.

Wow - how did we go from "I'm worried that the instructor's personal views may impact how he treats my daughter" to "your martial arts instructor is probably abusing her?"

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

This world that we live in is so sad. People can no longer have a difference in opinion and co-exist. I may not agree with your lifestyle, but I would have the upmost respect for you and not treat you any differently because of your choices. That goes for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. I'm not gay, and I wouldn't want this person around my kid

+2. No way Op. get a new instructor. There are other non-bigoted options out there-your dollars don’t need to go to someone who believes your relationship is a sin. And I would tell him why you’re leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In case he’s instructing martial arts. I don’t see how child rearing would be discussed.

I’m Christian and believe what the Bible says. Homosexuality is a sin. If my instructor was gay, I wouldn’t necessarily leave the class because if above. Especially if my child loved the instructor and was thriving. I can’t control others or do i want to. It’s a free country to believe what you want. Thank the Lord. Now if this persona was the human sexuality teacher in 7th grade, then yes.

Like someone said above, it’s a fine line. If he’s polite keeps his private beliefs private. Unfortunately some people haven’t learned Facebook is not private, then I would let it go. He’s not advertising it, you searched like you wanted to find something.

I am 13:23 and I completely agree with the above. His views are his views, and as long as he doesn't treat you or your child differently because of it, it's none of your business what he believes (just like it's none of his business what you believe - I'm sure you didn't walk into class boasting that you're homosexual...not that you shouldn't, it's just irrelevant). You sought out his personal Facebook page which has nothing to do with his ability to instruct martial arts.

Would you not want your child's martial arts teacher to be Muslim because you are catholic and don't believe in Islamic views?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This world that we live in is so sad. People can no longer have a difference in opinion and co-exist. I may not agree with your lifestyle, but I would have the upmost respect for you and not treat you any differently because of your choices. That goes for anyone.

This is not a difference of opinion. If you believe homosexual parenting harms children, then we don’t have a difference in opinion, we have a fundamental difference in morality and I think you are a bigot. Bigots don’t get my discretionary income.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. For now I am going to keep here there but I am going to talk to the manager/owner about my concerns. As far as I can tell they are not fb friends so my assumption is that he doesn't know.

I still find it unsettling but I am going to try and be the bigger person and not let his ignorance affect my child.

OP, please do not talk to the manager. That is ridiculous. Hell, for all you know, the manager/owner might be "homophobic" too! It's really none of your business what they think. They are there to provide martial arts instruction. This new worldly trend that everyone-must-agree-with-me-or-else is so draining!