Would you let someone homophobic instruct your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am personally against same sex marriage but I would not let that be known in my work environment. It does not affect how I treat gay people.

I bet gay people you work with would disagree.

No, they wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are AA and I would let someone who doesn't agree with all my political leanings instruct my kids in something non-related. For example, Trump is racist af but I would let my kid be instructed in martial arts by a trump supporter because I assume that wouldn't come up during class, and if it did, we could use it as a teaching opportunity. However, there's a line and if I found out that our martial arts teacher is someone who is posting screeds against who we are (member of the kkk, for example) then no, I would pull my kids. So, find your line, OP, and go with that.

This is good advice! Find your line, although that can definitely take some soul searching. Good luck, OP, and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Take the high road and stay. Show them a loving parent/child relationship, and a loving couple. Be the change agent.

[Anonymous]

For a school teacher, if the subject was unlikely to come up and I had limited choices in who taught my child, I'd probably just suck it up. For something like this, a voluntary activity where there might actually be conversation about the subject, I think I'd find another teacher.

[Anonymous]

Believe me, there are lots of people who disagree with you on issues like this; the only difference here is that the instructor got outed.

[Anonymous]

Lesbian mom here. I have 2 sons and my older one loves martial arts. As long as the instructor acts professionally then I’d keep sending my kid. Life’s too short to worry about what other people might think as long as they’re not actively being discriminatory. I work at a very conservative company and view my mere presence as a way to educate people that a 2-mom household is pretty much like any other. Sending my kid to class where they’re not being harmed is just another flavor of the same thing.

I get it though—it’s exhausting to feel like your family is always being questioned!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am personally against same sex marriage but I would not let that be known in my work environment. It does not affect how I treat gay people.

Funny! Because this post actually treated OP badly. Dumb A$$!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a happily married 2 Mom family with an adopted DD who is now 7.
DD does a martial art and I just found the facebook page of one of the instructors ( He did not friend me on fb) and there are some ignorant and hateful posts on his wall that can be seen by anyone. Most recent was a few days ago when he posted from a site that says "Sociologists say homosexual parenting harms children"

He has always been polite to me and I have not noticed any overt behavior that is different towards my child. But, I am concerned she could potentially be held back by his beliefs and it just really bothers me that he is even around my child.
Would you do or say anything?

Op I wouldn't do anything or say anything unless he directly said something to you or your daughter that is homophobic. I think it is a fine line and while I don't agree with his viewpoint he is allowed to express his opinion. What if the instructor was gay and someone pulled their kids out of the class because they didn't like the gay pride stuff they posted? You would be horrified no?

Plus, you would be only harming your child since she enjoys the activity.

OMFG. Someone pulling their kids out because they are prejudiced themselves against the pride-supporting instructor is not the same as pulling the kid out because the instructor is intolerant.

It is the same. Op never said the person did anything to her or her daughter. People can have different opinions. Even some gay people don't think that gays should be parents ( Dolce and Gabbana for one) There was a big disagreement between them and Elton John. At least this instructor didn't do anything personally to them.

I have a ripped from real life example of why a homophobic instructor is troubling even if they have not yet said something to the child. My 8 year old was at camp this summer and said to one of her counselors "did you know something about me, I have two moms" and the counselor thankfully said something like "that's cool!" For an extracurricular activity, I don't want to put my kid in the position of potentially having her family denigrated, if I already know in advance about the person's beliefs. With a classroom teacher, it's a little trickier and I would make an appointment and have a conversation about what they would say/not say. You could just have a conversation with the instructor, but that takes a lot of emotional energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP Forgot to add I don't agree with the instructor but, I do question gay men especially who go to great lengths to have biological children. It seems cruel to cut children out of their mother's lives. To me, it is the modern version of A Handmaid's tale. I read one gay dads induced the birth mother unnecessarily because they didn't want to wait any longer. Could have been harmful to baby and mother but, they didn't care.

You sound like someone who believes whatever they read. Doctors won't induce "for no reason" if they think it will be harmful. The parents wouldn't require a harmful induction for no reason. Not only do they love their kids, they spent thousands and thousands to get to that point. I don't believe this story for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe me, there are lots of people who disagree with you on issues like this; the only difference here is that the instructor got outed.

Choosing to post publicly on facebook is outing oneself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe me, there are lots of people who disagree with you on issues like this; the only difference here is that the instructor got outed.

Choosing to post publicly on facebook is outing oneself.

But it wasn't a problem until OP found out about it? What's different?

[Anonymous]

This bothers me dramatically. Not him, but you. He has views and opinions that are not the same as yours. You is open about it, although (according to you) ignorant about it. However, he treats you, and your daughter respectfully. He is professional in his work place and puts his views (that has nothing to do with the class aside but you still want to bitch about it? This is a messed up world we live in

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks everyone. For now I am going to keep here there but I am going to talk to the manager/owner about my concerns. As far as I can tell they are not fb friends so my assumption is that he doesn't know.

I still find it unsettling but I am going to try and be the bigger person and not let his ignorance affect my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. For now I am going to keep here there but I am going to talk to the manager/owner about my concerns. As far as I can tell they are not fb friends so my assumption is that he doesn't know.

I still find it unsettling but I am going to try and be the bigger person and not let his ignorance affect my child.

You mean his difference of opinion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone. For now I am going to keep here there but I am going to talk to the manager/owner about my concerns. As far as I can tell they are not fb friends so my assumption is that he doesn't know.

I still find it unsettling but I am going to try and be the bigger person and not let his ignorance affect my child.

You mean his difference of opinion?

Prejudice is not a difference of opinion. But you knew that.