Rejected by moms in a playgroup- feeling hurt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the piling on 18:03 is excessive. She was frank, not obnoxious. Sometimes people don't click, so they move on. It sounds like this is a casual playgroup; it's not like a workplace, where everyone is stuck together and should try to play nice.

Setting aside the reasons 18:03 gave, what should the other moms have done? Should they have formally kicked OP out?

Absolutely yes. Here is a short list of places you should not dump someone:

1. On a sticky note
2. By email, VM, or text message
3. On a public forum with hundreds of people reading.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like they had already dumped her before she came here. But really, they should have gotten together and said, "Sorry, we don't want to hang out with you anymore?" I could see that in the context of a longstanding relationship, but this sounded more like a casual, pick-up group (like pick-up basketball, I mean, not pick-ups in a bar), and I assumed that the other moms thought that given that they weren't really getting along that well (as OP agreed), it was easier for them just to drift apart.

[Anonymous]

As someone who lives in Adams Morgan I can say this doesn't surprise me at all. Lots of self aggrandizing hipsters slumming and bitching constantly in an oh so ironic way. OP, you can do better. I think they have Mommy and Me classes at Yoga Chai on Columbia Road. Try Miss Amy's Music Makers at All Souls, a new session starts in January. Hang out at Tryst and Pierce Park when it gets warmer. It's not you, it's them.

[Anonymous]

Op sorry you are feeling this way. I have had this experience with some DC moms and they truly are in highschool. Won't let you in the group unless you are already friends with someone in the group kind of nonsense. Don't let it get you down too much. Think it through for one last time then say a prayer or meditate or whatever to get some peace about and tuck it away and venture out and find other moms. Sometimes it takes a while but eventually you will find moms here and there that you click with. Take classes - get out and about - go to coffee shops, bookstores, check out your local library - many have reading hours. You should venture out of your neighborhood. There are all kinds of moms in DC - eventually you will meet some that you become friends with. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, based on 18:03's description. . . . You sound like someone I'd really enjoy knowing. I love it when moms want to talk about art and politics, when they appreciate all the good things in their lives, and they don't complain all the time. I think you sound terrific!

I agree. When I first became a mom I was horrified that all these other moms seemed to ONLY discuss their kids and had totally forgotten there was still a world out there. Good luck, OP, you don't need those bitches. If I were a SAHM and lived close by, I'd definitely seek you out as a friend. You'll find some cool moms; they're out there.

[Anonymous]

is it good for a baby to be in the 90th percentile height? what if the baby is a girl? I don't want my daughter to be 5'11 (she is 95th), so funny to me that this possibly has offended others ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who lives in Adams Morgan I can say this doesn't surprise me at all. Lots of self aggrandizing hipsters slumming and bitching constantly in an oh so ironic way. OP, you can do better. I think they have Mommy and Me classes at Yoga Chai on Columbia Road. Try Miss Amy's Music Makers at All Souls, a new session starts in January. Hang out at Tryst and Pierce Park when it gets warmer. It's not you, it's them.

huh. i live in adams morgan too and i don't think i've ever met any parents in the nabe who meet this description....

[Anonymous]

"the nabe"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"the nabe"?

short for neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"the nabe"?

short for neighborhood?

Is that ironic, hipster code? Look in mirror!!

[Anonymous]

OP- consider this a compliment- mom group is snippy- you don't fit in- this happens a lot- who cares why or what- if they are so narrow minded- screw them.

[Anonymous]

OP, just let it go and move on. It stings and I don't blame you for being hurt but every person is not meant to be friends with every other person. That is just life - some people click more than others. It's hard when you realize that other people are clicking without you but it's just the way it is. I have introduced friends of mine who ended up being better friends with each other than with me and while it hurts at first to realize I'm excluded from their activities, I understand that I can't be everyone's best friend.

As for 18:03, while her post was not the most tactful thing in the world, I get it. I don't think there's anything "mean" about choosing not to hang out with people who don't float your boat. The group didn't act out towards OP, they just chose not to invite her in the future because they didn't love being around her. They didn't call her out, they weren't mean to her, they just didn't invite her anymore. We're grown ups, we can do that. it isn't the 4th grade where your mom makes you invite everyone to your slumber party so the unpopular girls in the class don't feel bad.

[Anonymous]

I think 18:03 could have conveyed her info through a private email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*shrug* Without knowing them, none of us can say whether OP is, in fact, insufferable or the group that booted her are "painfully cliquish." You know it's possible there's some truth to both. I don't honestly believe someone asked, "Does your baby sleep through the night," she answered yes and the group simply turned around and stopped calling her as a result. I HAVE known people who never stop going on about how wonderful, fabulous, blessed and lucky their lives are. And good for them! But down here on earth, I want someone who will commiserate with my little tribulations, and I don't know that I could relate to someone who has none.

Maybe you should join their playgroup then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just let it go and move on. It stings and I don't blame you for being hurt but every person is not meant to be friends with every other person. That is just life - some people click more than others. It's hard when you realize that other people are clicking without you but it's just the way it is. I have introduced friends of mine who ended up being better friends with each other than with me and while it hurts at first to realize I'm excluded from their activities, I understand that I can't be everyone's best friend.

As for 18:03, while her post was not the most tactful thing in the world, I get it. I don't think there's anything "mean" about choosing not to hang out with people who don't float your boat. The group didn't act out towards OP, they just chose not to invite her in the future because they didn't love being around her. They didn't call her out, they weren't mean to her, they just didn't invite her anymore. We're grown ups, we can do that. it isn't the 4th grade where your mom makes you invite everyone to your slumber party so the unpopular girls in the class don't feel bad.

The reasons our mothers did that when we were in 4th grade is so that we don't grow up to reject and humiliate our peers simply because we're jealous of their easy life. Apparently 18:03 didn't learn her lesson from 4th grade.