Rejected by moms in a playgroup- feeling hurt

[Anonymous]

13:49, I'd much rather hang out with you than some of the moms around here! Though if I do, your employer might post on DCUM about how some bitch at Gymboree is always trying to poach her nanny.

(Kidding, mostly. I've never been to Gymboree or other organized activities.)

[Anonymous]

OP, a similar thing happened to me some years ago. I was hurt and felt rejected. I went on to think about it, though, and realized that I was mainly hurt because of the rejection, not because I actually wanted to be good friends with the people in the group. (I didn't really care for them either.) Once I realized that, it was a lot easier to just move on and find some real friends, which I did. Can you try some other ways of meeting people where you might find some more kindred spirits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I 'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what you mean; I'm in the same predicament in a sense, only I'm a nanny. I've been one for many years, and I have taken my charges to Gymboree, Musikids, and even to preschool. I feel so discriminated against when mothers find out I'm the nanny. I've tried being friendly and take interest in thier children, and I basically just get a cold shoulder.
It really hurts to be treated this way ( I've been ananny sometimes as long as these mothers have been alive).
I can talk babies and kids, LOVE them, but I guess since I've never given birth or breastfed, I don't matter.

For the record, you can be a mother and never have given birth or breastfed. THe mothers you've had this problem with obviously feel superior since you're the "hired help" instead of a SAHM. Rotten!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I 'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what you mean; I'm in the same predicament in a sense, only I'm a nanny. I've been one for many years, and I have taken my charges to Gymboree, Musikids, and even to preschool. I feel so discriminated against when mothers find out I'm the nanny. I've tried being friendly and take interest in thier children, and I basically just get a cold shoulder.
It really hurts to be treated this way ( I've been ananny sometimes as long as these mothers have been alive).
I can talk babies and kids, LOVE them, but I guess since I've never given birth or breastfed, I don't matter.

For the record, you can be a mother and never have given birth or breastfed. THe mothers you've had this problem with obviously feel superior since you're the "hired help" instead of a SAHM. Rotten!

Another possibility is that it sounds like there's quite an age difference between you and these mothers. ("I've been a nanny sometimes as long as these mothers have been alive.") That might just make it harder to relate.

[Anonymous]

Nah, I'm a younger nanny, also a mom, and feel the same way. Even though I don't have the time to go to places like this with my DD, when I go, I am way more "popular" than when I take the kids I take care of.

[Anonymous]

OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

Sorry to hear that- keep your chin up- who knows- maybe they are jealous- clicks are hard to decipher but this isn';t one you need to figure out. have you tried formal moms groups? there are quite a few..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

Is there any of the moms that you feel closer to? If you have the courage, you could ask one if you did something to offend the group. Sometimes, little things tend to snowball. Rejection does just totally suck. Even if you hated the other moms, it still just sucks to be rejected - especially with such a little one at home. The first 6 months is really the most isolating. I know I barely left the house. So kudos to you for trying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

Interesting- I think I know you, OP, and am one of the moms that "rejected" you. Ok, so this is the reason. We all felt like you didn't really click with us. You tried talking to us about politics and art while our babies were screaming their heads off. And you always said you had a perfect baby- yes, he sleeps through the night, yes he breastffeds like a champ, yes, he is on the 90th percentile of height and weight, bla bla bla. We get it- you have an amazing baby. And all the while you can keep up with current events, read the latest bestseller, have a great husband, etc. Sometimes we meet up to just.bitch. And I am not trying to be mean right now- I am truly glad you have such good things happening, but motherhood is a challenge for many of us. Does that make sense? I do hope you find people that you can connect with better.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

Interesting- I think I know you, OP, and am one of the moms that "rejected" you. Ok, so this is the reason. We all felt like you didn't really click with us. You tried talking to us about politics and art while our babies were screaming their heads off. And you always said you had a perfect baby- yes, he sleeps through the night, yes he breastffeds like a champ, yes, he is on the 90th percentile of height and weight, bla bla bla. We get it- you have an amazing baby. And all the while you can keep up with current events, read the latest bestseller, have a great husband, etc. Sometimes we meet up to just.bitch. And I am not trying to be mean right now- I am truly glad you have such good things happening, but motherhood is a challenge for many of us. Does that make sense? I do hope you find people that you can connect with better.

Whoa--- with "friends" like this, who needs enemies. OP: this lady and her posse don't deserve you.

[Anonymous]

Maybe we should all get together and reject 18:03.

[Anonymous]

I'M In!!!! I will play with you, too!!!

If this is how she responded to you ...on DCUM ..is MEAN!!! The response from her is truly truly 6th grade!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- its true- I don't truly click with the group, but it has only been a very short time, and I believe it takes a while to develop true friendships. I am new to the area and live in Adams Morgan and find it very hard to meet other stay at home moms in the area. My baby is only 5 months old so he is not acting out or causing problems. Everyone in the group has an infant and no one really knew each other before. I do not think of myself as overly dramatic or annoying. And if something I did annoy the group, I would want to know about it. Thanks for the kind words- it is very highschool. But it's hard not take it personally and I feel pretty low about it.

Interesting- I think I know you, OP, and am one of the moms that "rejected" you. Ok, so this is the reason. We all felt like you didn't really click with us. You tried talking to us about politics and art while our babies were screaming their heads off. And you always said you had a perfect baby- yes, he sleeps through the night, yes he breastffeds like a champ, yes, he is on the 90th percentile of height and weight, bla bla bla. We get it- you have an amazing baby. And all the while you can keep up with current events, read the latest bestseller, have a great husband, etc. Sometimes we meet up to just.bitch. And I am not trying to be mean right now- I am truly glad you have such good things happening, but motherhood is a challenge for many of us. Does that make sense? I do hope you find people that you can connect with better.

Whoa. Someone needs a mom's night out.

Seriously, proud and over-eager parents are out there everywhere, and it is no big deal to just ask them nicely to dial it back a bit. And one day you are going to want to talk about something other than parenting. I think it's fine that you pick who you want to hang out with, but seriously your level of hostility is appalling.

[Anonymous]

18:03 Here- why are you all angry? Isn't it possible that some people don't click? And shouldn't OP know why we left her out??