Rejected by moms in a playgroup- feeling hurt

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP hasn't written back because she's embarrassed that that rejector-mommy confronted her here.

OP has indeed written back. OP is the same poster that claimed to know the OP and to have been one of those who rejected her. This has probably been the greatest sock puppetting in the history of DCUM.

So, Ms. Sock Puppet. You've had your fun. Now, I think you owe the DCUM community an apology.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, I didn't see that coming. And I ALWAYS suspect sock puppets!

[Anonymous]

OP here- I'm truly sorry. I was just trying to make sense of what happened and wrote the follow up post to see things in a different angle. I didn't know people were going to give so many responses. Please, please, please accept my apology. And know I will never do it again! To the site administrator, thank you for the reality check.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't live in Adams Morgan so please forgive me if you do live there for quoting your neighborhood. Was using it as an example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell can someone have a "better baby?" That thought is just so absurd... Once I heard my hubs tell someone she was "clearly a brilliant child" with the greatest earnesty and sincerity, and I just had to chuckle. Is she brilliant? Well, I don't know--she's only two, but I do know why he said it: He adores her.

I gush on about my daughter. And you know what, please feel free to gush on about your wonderful, sweet child, too. Colicky or not. He or she is also probably a great kid.

Good lord, people. Get a grip.

I clearly should not still be posting since we now know this is all the product of sock puppeting but am doing it anyway. The gushing about your daughter might be okay in small doses but if your friends have difficult babies or children with behavior problems (later), it is just not cool to spend all your time gushing about your wonderful daughter. There are times when you should have the good sense to give it a rest in order to be sensitive to what other people are going through. And it isn't because people with difficult children are "jealous" and "mean." I think it's just common courtesy. For example, if my friend's husband had just lost his job and my husband had just gotten a big promotion, I'd probably not tell my friend about my husband's promotion. Just a little basic sensitivity. So, if any of the previous posts had really happened and OP really did have an easy baby and would go on about it while others had difficult babies, I think OP would have had a sensitivity problem. And I wouldn't blame 18:03 for not wanting to hang out with her.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP hasn't written back because she's embarrassed that that rejector-mommy confronted her here.

OP has indeed written back. OP is the same poster that claimed to know the OP and to have been one of those who rejected her. This has probably been the greatest sock puppetting in the history of DCUM.

So, Ms. Sock Puppet. You've had your fun. Now, I think you owe the DCUM community an apology.

I LOVE it. That is fantastic.

[Anonymous]

Excellent. DCUMs at its best! A thread that has truly earned its place in the archives.

[Anonymous]

Next time OP -- alternate home computer/work computer for more effective sock puppetry.

[Anonymous]

Okay - remind me to REMEMBER THIS next time I get all riled up about a thread. [headdesk]

[Anonymous]

And, I think I know now why you were excluded from the group!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Come on. When I said tougher I meant I was ok with letting my baby cry for 10 minutes a couple of times before she learned to fall asleep. It was very stressful to listen to the cry but I stuck it out for the greater goal. The other women in the group said they would not be able to do that, that it is too cruel. How does mean I think I am better than them? After all, am I not the cruel mother?!

You can chalk it up with different parenting philosophies but I always felt that because they had a different view they felt I had nothing to offer.

This thread also shows how this plays out. People who I consider to be less focused on commisarating (sp? sorry) and more on a desire to focus on real issues and people that resent you because you give off that "perfectness" by not joining in the drama fest.

I completely understand what happened in your playgroup, OP.

You did "cry it out" and feel it was the right thing. Other people are having a hard time with sleep stuff but don't want to do Cry It Out.

Nuff said! I can bet they don't feel like getting together with you anymore -- but it probably isn't because they like drama. They don't believe cry-it-out is correct (for them and their babies) and therefore are struggling with other options, and need support.

You sound like you aren't interested in that at all. You "toughed it out" for 10 minutes, it was over (for you) and you feel fine with your cchoice -- and now don't want to hear about what others are going through, except to tell them "You should do "cry it out" -- it worked great for me!"

You should have mentioned all that when talking about those meanie, meanie moms who aren't inviting you to lunch with them. Now it all makes sense!

It's not the OP who said this. Follow the thread better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a PP who is now working.

I think we're dealing with personality conflicts. Likes attract likes.

Personally, I'd prefer to be around some bitching women who aren't candy-coating their SAH lifestyle. I like people who are brutally honest and yes, tough!

But when I stayed home, I had a hard time finding women who - for lack of a better word - appealed to me. And I began to wonder if perhaps I had made the right decision b/c so many of these SAHMs seemed deliriously happy being soccer moms, volunteering endless hours at their child's school, and talking about baby milestones. If I cracked open a bottle of wine during a play date (afternoon, I'll clarify), I received some odd looks. On the flip side, my working pals would bring over a bottle! And we'd gab and bitch, have a glass of wine, and munch on cheese crackers.

So maybe there are the more cynical types - the "tough" ones - who have a harder time fitting into these groups b/c baby milestones and lunch duty aren't on their daily agenda!

This kind of thing has been common on this thread -- people who think SAHMs are kind of dimwits and slow. And that they're not "edgy" and "cynical" (as one PP put it). Some of SAHMs are. Just because we talk about baby milestones and volunteering at schools doesn't mean that those are the only sides to our personalities.

[Anonymous]

oh, wow -- OP and 18:03 are the same person? OP -- do you suspect you were left out for the reasons you outlined in 18:03?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they are part of the same circle of moms who are part of the "younger mom" playgroup as posted on the Playgroup Forum - ugg.

We don't and haven't excluded anyone! Thank you very much....

[Anonymous]

The OP is certifiable!!