Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

Or perhaps he's a molester. A prudent molester would want the children far away from the dad, other family, and any other support systems the children have so he can molest them without interference.

Oh get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

Or perhaps he's a molester. A prudent molester would want the children far away from the dad, other family, and any other support systems the children have so he can molest them without interference.

A'prudent' molester? ? Seriously?

Children who have support systems generally also can create and maintain new ones, while keeping old ones intact. Your thoughts are a little off-base.

OP I've posted a few times in this thread and you haven't updated any info - I just think if possible approach the situation with compassion and understanding, voicing your wants and needs but also hearing hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

You know how sometimes you type something up and wonder if you should hit send? You definitely made the wrong decision here. Yeah, let's rip the kids out of their schools, off their sports teams, away from their friends and the place they call home and make life easy on the woman who wants to continue to play house with the guy she committed adultery with. Let's have them wake up every morning to the face that broke apart their family? Let me guess your profession pp, family counselor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.

OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of the kids and prevent the move EVEN if his ex is a good mom and her fiance is good to the kids.

It is not in the best interests of the kids to move to a different town, away from their father, under any circumstances.

OP, you'd better expect her to try and move, and take the kids with her, and you better lawyer up now and prepare for war.

Yeah, much better to create eternal resentment. Great advice. Resentment is so helpful to children.

Seriously. This is life. If the kids do well with them, try your best to work it out.

No, it's actually not "just life." It's life created by dysfunctional people who think it's okay to have an affair, remarry, and move away while expecting the other parent to "do the right thing" so the kids won't be resentful and upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

Sounds like someone here is in the same position as OP's DW and is doing some wishful thinking. Why are you only considering the characteristics of the mom and her new H? Why aren't you considering that they already have a great dad that won't cause further disruption inn the kids' lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

Or perhaps he's a molester. A prudent molester would want the children far away from the dad, other family, and any other support systems the children have so he can molest them without interference.

A'prudent' molester? ? Seriously?

Children who have support systems generally also can create and maintain new ones, while keeping old ones intact. Your thoughts are a little off-base.

OP I've posted a few times in this thread and you haven't updated any info - I just think if possible approach the situation with compassion and understanding, voicing your wants and needs but also hearing hers.

A reasonably intelligent person would assume it was hyperbolic demonstrating how silly it was to speculate like the pp did when she assigned positive qualities to Chester the molester. Prior to sweating all this, maybe the wife wants a little honeymoon time and is going to ask OP if he's willing to take on a bigger custody burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

Or perhaps he's a molester. A prudent molester would want the children far away from the dad, other family, and any other support systems the children have so he can molest them without interference.

A'prudent' molester? ? Seriously?

Yes, like Jared from Subway.

[Anonymous]

Many military families move successfully every day. It’s not an automatic sentence for traumatized children that have to change schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many military families move successfully every day. It’s not an automatic sentence for traumatized children that have to change schools.

Not sure if you have ever moved with military kids.

Besides, this is not about military kids that have a big support network and a lot of practice moving.

This is about kids having to move out of state to make things easier for mom's affair partner.

Completely different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many military families move successfully every day. It’s not an automatic sentence for traumatized children that have to change schools.

Not sure if you have ever moved with military kids.

Besides, this is not about military kids that have a big support network and a lot of practice moving.

This is about kids having to move out of state to make things easier for mom's affair partner.

Completely different things.

+1 seriously! not even remotely comparable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many military families move successfully every day. It’s not an automatic sentence for traumatized children that have to change schools.

Not sure if you have ever moved with military kids.

Besides, this is not about military kids that have a big support network and a lot of practice moving.

This is about kids having to move out of state to make things easier for mom's affair partner.

Completely different things.

OP said a different city.

[Anonymous]

On the flip side, perhaps she will ask you to take full custody.

I am not too keen on child custody laws in your state, but I would find it completely unfair for a Mother to re-marry & take her mutual children to another state.

You should/must have some rights.

I hope things work in your favor!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.

A father that lives his kids and doesn't want them wrested thousands of miles away from his a dick??

You're just execrable, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has speculated that a move would be terrible for the kids because they’re mad at OP’s wife for having an affair. But no one actually knows if the move would be that bad for them. She could very well be an outstanding mother and her new husband a great stepdad. The way their relationship started is irrelevant so stop focusing on that. The issue is how the kids will be treated now. Period.

No it is not irrelevant.

He broke up their marriage.

He and mom ruined their family.

Yes, agreed. We know very little about these people but what we do know is that they have exhibited very poor moral character and put their own sexual desires above the well-being of her children. Maybe she makes up for this in other ways but she's clearly an atrocious role model.

[Anonymous]

I was in this situation but I am the mother. We ended up in court and I got primary physical. It made no sense to up end the children’s life just because dad wanted to shack up with his new woman.