WWYD -- sister's PhD graduation could not be timed worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is you, OP, right?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/663672.page

umm, no, but congrats -- you're obsessed with posters on an anonymous forum.

It certainly sounds similar, I can’t blame the PP for thinking you are the same person. No need to be so snippy.

I'm mostly just really surprised that someone would have that deep knowledge of posters on a forum. That's an old thread.

I am not that poster but I don't find it surprising. I have a photographic memory and can often recall similar posts from a few years back. It just connects dots. I am usually right too. I just visit this and a couple other forums when I am bored, not my life

I have an excellent memory, too. I guess I just don't use my mental bandwidth for this sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she defended her thesis? If she has not, I don’t know how she’d walk by May.
If she has, how is she going to hang around another year? Does she have funding?

My knowledge of this process is based on my husband’s engineering PhD. His siblings and parents went to his defense, not the graduation ceremony. A defense is not a toddler friendly event.

She's completed her thesis, but wouldn't file until she has a job. She has funding for next year -- some university fellowship.

Honestly unless there is a big “match day” weekend for interviews like in Econ or something similar in her field where everyone gets job offers at a certain time of year, it sounds like she doesn’t have her shot together to land a job in 6 weeks. I think you should keep your calendar open for next May.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she defended her thesis? If she has not, I don’t know how she’d walk by May.
If she has, how is she going to hang around another year? Does she have funding?

My knowledge of this process is based on my husband’s engineering PhD. His siblings and parents went to his defense, not the graduation ceremony. A defense is not a toddler friendly event.

She's completed her thesis, but wouldn't file until she has a job. She has funding for next year -- some university fellowship.

Huh. My sister was a hard science, so maybe that's why. Is you sister philosophy or something?

I'd offer to celebrate at another time. Especially because this is 6 weeks away and she hasn't decided yet if she's doing it. Just tell her the notice is too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is you, OP, right?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/663672.page

umm, no, but congrats -- you're obsessed with posters on an anonymous forum.

It certainly sounds similar, I can’t blame the PP for thinking you are the same person. No need to be so snippy.

I'm mostly just really surprised that someone would have that deep knowledge of posters on a forum. That's an old thread.

I am not that poster but I don't find it surprising. I have a photographic memory and can often recall similar posts from a few years back. It just connects dots. I am usually right too. I just visit this and a couple other forums when I am bored, not my life

Yeah I am the one who posted that and I’m truly sorry if I offended or if anyone thinks I’m a nut. I just also have a good memory and thought it sounded similar.

[Anonymous]

I think if you explain to her your situation, she will understand that it’s not really feasible for you to go. The only way is if your DH can fly from CA to his work destination and you eat the cost of that ticket. Where is he flying to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you explain to her your situation, she will understand that it’s not really feasible for you to go. The only way is if your DH can fly from CA to his work destination and you eat the cost of that ticket. Where is he flying to?

He's going to Long Beach, so theoretically it would be a no brainer. Problem is his company already booked his ticket months ago from DC to CA. He could try talking to them, to see if they'd change the ticket. It's doubtful, but he could give it a shot.

[Anonymous]

4. Go alone to the Saturday ceremony and leave Sunday morning.

5. Not go at all.

I mean, it depends on your relationship with your sister, but either of these would be fine.

[Anonymous]

The other problem with DH going, of course, is that it means DC goes too, which would be a massive PITA (as has been established).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other problem with DH going, of course, is that it means DC goes too, which would be a massive PITA (as has been established).

THen just don’t go if it going to such a hassle for you.

[Anonymous]

I think you are looking for people to tell you it’s okay not to go. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. You own the consequences of that, whatever they are, and move on.

[Anonymous]

#4.

While the depatment ceremony is more intimate, at laest at my university the PhDs get to walk at the univesity-wide ceremony (undergrads did not, too many). Then have a nice lunch/dinner on Saturday night and catch the red-eye back.

[Anonymous]

If your sister hasn't filed by now, it's doubtful that she even could walk. The deadlines are usually long before the actual graduation. She can't just submit the thesis and graduate - she will have to defend (social science PhD here but with a lot of friends in other disciplines.) So there's very little prospect of filing in late April and marching in May.

Plus if this entire scenario is contingent on her finding a job in time to do all this, forget about it. Academic jobs are already done unless she's the back-up to the back-up to the back-up, etc.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t walk for my PhD. Seems kind of immature (and non-PhD like!) to be offended at anyone for not attending.

[Anonymous]

For me, it would depend on the prestige of the institution and the subject area. No way I’m going that far to see someone get a doctorate from a second rate school in a field with limited job prospects.

[Anonymous]

This is the same OP who was offended that her sister wasn't flying from CA for her DD 1st birthday party this fall.
You seem to have a weird hangup on attending/not family events that most people don't expect everyone to come to.