WWYD -- sister's PhD graduation could not be timed worse

[Anonymous]

Oh my god. Do not go!

For a wedding I would make it work somehow. For a graduation? Come on. Sis will have to understand.

[Anonymous]

depends on the circumstances. my PhD was a really big deal to my family, and honestly for me despite the fact i'm not big on pomp and circumstance. we're an immigrant family and it was an ivy league...more symbolic than anything since you're done after your defense.

if she's nonchalant about it or has other family going then i'd skip it. i couldn't pay my family to skip mine and my school has commencement on a Thursday, which is pretty inconvenient since it requires you to be there by Wednesday, Thursday and department stuff is on Friday.

[Anonymous]

Don't go.

I was going through my parents' photo albums last month and realized that I missed my brother's college graduation and he missed mine. I'm sure we had legit reasons at the time. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even attend my own law school graduation, so I wouldn't go to this. I think graduation ceremonies are a massive waste of time.

[Anonymous]

My DH just got his PHD. He didn’t walk. It’s a long long process and the real climax is not the diploma but the dissertation defense. I would not take the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5. Not go at all.

By the time I walked for my Phd, I had done the walk for my BS and my MS. My Phd walk was a big deal to me for the sense of accomplishment but I didn't need anyone else to be there.

Same here. Never crossed my mind that my bro should come. Heck, my mom didn't even come. PhD is a big deal. Walking isn't. That's for the law and MBA students.

That said, I do hope to walk my son across a stage one day for his degree (at whatever level) so I can wear the gown with the hood again.

[Anonymous]

My dh has a PhD, I have a masters, neither of us walked or had family come see us. Just wasn't a big deal, like undergrad was. Does she even care?

[Anonymous]

None of our siblings attended our respective law/MBA graduations. They all live within a 2 hours drive of the schools and we were not remotely offended. And we are a close family. Expecting siblings to attend something like this strikes me a really narcissistic.

That said, if you are going anyway it’s the Sunday thing that matters, not Saturday. Also, what will you do if she doesn’t get a job? Eat the cost of the flights?

[Anonymous]

If she’s waffling this much about whether or not to even walk this year, I’d assume it’s not the big deal to her that it is for some. If you still feel obligated, I ask her point-blank today if she plans on being at the graduation because it’s so late now you may not able to get childcare/affordable flight/etc. that’s puts her on notice that if she she does walk, she’s waited to long to expect guests.