POC and resenting mixed-race relationships

[Anonymous]

I am a white man who only dates WOC. I find that women of my woman's race tend to be envious of her and very friendly to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a white man who only dates WOC. I find that women of my woman's race tend to be envious of her and very friendly to me.

Very interesting. What are the signs they show that indicate they're envious of your woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a white man who only dates WOC. I find that women of my woman's race tend to be envious of her and very friendly to me.

Very interesting. What are the signs they show that indicate they're envious of your woman?

That's what I thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I smile at every interracial couple I see. You can't force people to like it, but you can show the couple involved that you support it.

This is very weird.

It's creepy and patronizing toward the couple. How about just treating them like everyone else instead of "smiling to show support."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when a brown girl marries a white guy, other brown people get offended?

Why is it that when a black man marries a white girl, other black people are angry?

What is it about marrying white that offends other POC?

Speaking as a black woman married to a white man, our worst and most persistent detractors are white women.

In fairness, white women kind of hate everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I smile at every interracial couple I see. You can't force people to like it, but you can show the couple involved that you support it.

This is very weird.

It's creepy and patronizing toward the couple. How about just treating them like everyone else instead of "smiling to show support."

Nope, not creepy in the least. We see you and appreciate the show of support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black men do not like it because they feel that white men have every other advantage in life, why do they get to have "our" women too.

Yup.

As pathetic as it sounds, that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is sick a sticky ball of wax to unravel and the answer depends on who are you talking to. I am a black woman, married to a black man. My BIL is engaged to a white woman. I am happy for my BIL because he found love, but I am completely honest about the fact that I wish he had found it with a black woman.

Educated black women have a really hard time finding males of any color to settle down with and when even our won don't choose us, it stings. Black women are often considered the least beautiful by men of all races. The standard of beauty in this country does not place us at the top of the heap. In particular black women with darker skin and kinky hair.

Do I resent the white women "taking" black men? It isn't a clear yes or no. It is less about resenting the white woman and more about my heart breaking for all the black women I know who are single and cannot find a partner of any race.

Is is important that BW teach our girls that any man can and will love you.

Black women already know that. What black women need to learn is that we can love any race of man. So many of us have had it drilled into our heads by wary black mothers and territorial black men that to love a non-black man makes a black woman the worst kind of race traitor, while black men can chase non-black women to “get back” at the world that emasculates black men. It is time for black women to move beyond racist indoctrination and stop acting as if non-black, esp white, men are less than human.

I posted that and i agree with you totally.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when a brown girl marries a white guy, other brown people get offended?

Why is it that when a black man marries a white girl, other black people are angry?

What is it about marrying white that offends other POC?

So I am black woman married to a white man and I was shocked by how nasty some black men were about that. I went to a predominately white high school and ALL of the few black boys that also attended my school openly said they only dated white girls. (Although to be fair one of them is married to a very beautiful, very accomplished black woman...not sure what she sees in him). I think black women frequently get upset because some black men will really openly say that they think that white women are superior for whatever stereotyped reason. I personally think that everyone should just marry whoever they want but you must have some self-hatred reasons if you dislike all women or men that are the same race that you are.

Also, although I am not South Asian, I think it is a little weird and problematic that every show or movie that is successful lately has an South Asian person in a relationship with a white person. Examples being both seasons of Master of None, the Big Sick, and every love interest on the Mindy Project.

Agree with the bolded. I'm white, married to a black man. I dated men of all races when I was single, and met two different black men who proudly announced they only dated white women because black women are all [stupid stereotypes here], ON OUR FIRST DATE. I think they meant it to be a compliment to me (or some kind of coded reassurance? unclear) but both were pretty surprised when I walked out on the date. No one should be constrained in who they can date based on race, but if you have a blanket ban on a certain race (I don't care which one, it doesn't have to be a self-hatred issue) then I assume you're not someone my values line up with very well.

As for the South Asian/white thing -- I felt bad for Kumail Nanjiani because his movie was autobiographical and he got so much flack for reinforcing the stereotype that was started with Mindy & Master of None. But I do understand why people are upset with the trend.

Really? Because I don't and it makes me so angry when people say that movies that look like my marriage are "problematic." Bite me. It's this bizarre #woke racism and it's BS.

Ok, Jan. You realize that the majority of South Asians are married to other South Asians? But I’m glad you can be in the lucky group that gets to see themselves represented in the media.

You are srupid AF. I'm an indian married to an Indian and watch primarily Indian movies and shows. My sister is married to a white man. You are a racist. My sister is notnin a lucky group, other than the fact that shes been lucky in love. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black men do not like it because they feel that white men have every other advantage in life, why do they get to have "our" women too.

Yup.

As pathetic as it sounds, that's it.

Not true, at all. Whether black men agreed with black women entering interracial relationships, or not, they do not control the actions of black women. Further, to suggest that they can not make their own choices is disrespectful to black women.

From my experience, black women often state that they do not find men of other races appealing - especially white men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when a brown girl marries a white guy, other brown people get offended?

Why is it that when a black man marries a white girl, other black people are angry?

What is it about marrying white that offends other POC?

So I am black woman married to a white man and I was shocked by how nasty some black men were about that. I went to a predominately white high school and ALL of the few black boys that also attended my school openly said they only dated white girls. (Although to be fair one of them is married to a very beautiful, very accomplished black woman...not sure what she sees in him). I think black women frequently get upset because some black men will really openly say that they think that white women are superior for whatever stereotyped reason. I personally think that everyone should just marry whoever they want but you must have some self-hatred reasons if you dislike all women or men that are the same race that you are.

Also, although I am not South Asian, I think it is a little weird and problematic that every show or movie that is successful lately has an South Asian person in a relationship with a white person. Examples being both seasons of Master of None, the Big Sick, and every love interest on the Mindy Project.

Agree with the bolded. I'm white, married to a black man. I dated men of all races when I was single, and met two different black men who proudly announced they only dated white women because black women are all [stupid stereotypes here], ON OUR FIRST DATE. I think they meant it to be a compliment to me (or some kind of coded reassurance? unclear) but both were pretty surprised when I walked out on the date. No one should be constrained in who they can date based on race, but if you have a blanket ban on a certain race (I don't care which one, it doesn't have to be a self-hatred issue) then I assume you're not someone my values line up with very well.

As for the South Asian/white thing -- I felt bad for Kumail Nanjiani because his movie was autobiographical and he got so much flack for reinforcing the stereotype that was started with Mindy & Master of None. But I do understand why people are upset with the trend.

Really? Because I don't and it makes me so angry when people say that movies that look like my marriage are "problematic." Bite me. It's this bizarre #woke racism and it's BS.

Ok, Jan. You realize that the majority of South Asians are married to other South Asians? But I’m glad you can be in the lucky group that gets to see themselves represented in the media.

You are srupid AF. I'm an indian married to an Indian and watch primarily Indian movies and shows. My sister is married to a white man. You are a racist. My sister is notnin a lucky group, other than the fact that shes been lucky in love. Get a life.

DP- You’re not representing your ethnicity very well. Brush up on your reading comprehension and grammar, fool, and get back to us...or better yet, don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I smile at every interracial couple I see. You can't force people to like it, but you can show the couple involved that you support it.

This is very weird.

It's creepy and patronizing toward the couple. How about just treating them like everyone else instead of "smiling to show support."

I'm part of an interracial couple and I would welcome. We've been to places (not in DC) where we've received cold stares. I appreciate the support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that when a brown girl marries a white guy, other brown people get offended?

Why is it that when a black man marries a white girl, other black people are angry?

What is it about marrying white that offends other POC?

So I am black woman married to a white man and I was shocked by how nasty some black men were about that. I went to a predominately white high school and ALL of the few black boys that also attended my school openly said they only dated white girls. (Although to be fair one of them is married to a very beautiful, very accomplished black woman...not sure what she sees in him). I think black women frequently get upset because some black men will really openly say that they think that white women are superior for whatever stereotyped reason. I personally think that everyone should just marry whoever they want but you must have some self-hatred reasons if you dislike all women or men that are the same race that you are.

Also, although I am not South Asian, I think it is a little weird and problematic that every show or movie that is successful lately has an South Asian person in a relationship with a white person. Examples being both seasons of Master of None, the Big Sick, and every love interest on the Mindy Project.

Agree with the bolded. I'm white, married to a black man. I dated men of all races when I was single, and met two different black men who proudly announced they only dated white women because black women are all [stupid stereotypes here], ON OUR FIRST DATE. I think they meant it to be a compliment to me (or some kind of coded reassurance? unclear) but both were pretty surprised when I walked out on the date. No one should be constrained in who they can date based on race, but if you have a blanket ban on a certain race (I don't care which one, it doesn't have to be a self-hatred issue) then I assume you're not someone my values line up with very well.

As for the South Asian/white thing -- I felt bad for Kumail Nanjiani because his movie was autobiographical and he got so much flack for reinforcing the stereotype that was started with Mindy & Master of None. But I do understand why people are upset with the trend.

Really? Because I don't and it makes me so angry when people say that movies that look like my marriage are "problematic." Bite me. It's this bizarre #woke racism and it's BS.

Ok, Jan. You realize that the majority of South Asians are married to other South Asians? But I’m glad you can be in the lucky group that gets to see themselves represented in the media.

You are srupid AF. I'm an indian married to an Indian and watch primarily Indian movies and shows. My sister is married to a white man. You are a racist. My sister is notnin a lucky group, other than the fact that shes been lucky in love. Get a life.

Good lord, do you know what sarcasm is? Or spelling? Or reading comprehension? No one was talking about Indian movies and shows we are talking about shows that are popular amongst many groups in the United States. If you have actual examples of shows you watch that air on major network television salutations or Netflix or movies that received widespread theatrical release in the United States please feel free to share some names.

Many, many Asian writers have written about this issue so I’m not sure if you are being intentionally obtuse or what?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/themuse.jezebel.com/i-m-tired-of-watching-brown-men-fall-in-love-with-white-1796522590/amp
https://qz.com/1016554/aziz-ansari-hasan-minhaj-kumail-nanjiani-brown-actors-have-reduced-brown-women-to-a-punchline/
http://www.papermag.com/aziz-ansari-master-of-none-1449383127.html

[Anonymous]

*stations not salutations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I smile at every interracial couple I see. You can't force people to like it, but you can show the couple involved that you support it.

This is very weird.

It's creepy and patronizing toward the couple. How about just treating them like everyone else instead of "smiling to show support."

I'm part of an interracial couple and I would welcome. We've been to places (not in DC) where we've received cold stares. I appreciate the support.

+1. IR couple.