Are women constantly being harassed or does the news recently just make it feel that way?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

It diesn’t Feel good to some extent to all women.

To some women, it diesn’t feel Flattering at all, just creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I'm a woman whose glad this is all coming out, but who is also extremely triggered by it. I have memories of various kinds of sexual assault and harrassment since HS - boobs grabbed, date rape in college, various forms of street harrassment (including literally being picked up and slung over the shoulders of a stranger and carried off on the street at night), older men in my profession (40s) expressing professional interest in me (in my mid-twenties) that then turned to sexual interest, key professional colleagues sexually harrassing me (including the main grantor to my organization), sexual harrassment from my associate mentor after law school (leading me not to take the firm's offer of permanent employment), come-ons from married colleagues, an an emotionally abusive boyfriend who inevitably turned physically abusive and the infidelity of my own husband, etc. My career and income potential suffered greatly. All these things I have always stuffed away except in brief conversations with those closest to me

And even over the past 15-20 years, now, watching my own growing daughter experience the same -- comments about what she wears, boys touching girls unwanted at school, friends of hers in HS confiding about rape, health ed class that reinforces negative sexual stereotypes about girls and boys....

So, yes, your first paragraph is a pretty spot on description of my life, and I don't think I'm any different than other women. It has permanently affected me. I'm exhausted and have basically withdrawn from life both professionally and personally.

I'm glad all of this is coming out, and I'm glad to see heads roll. But, the whole thing has made me tremendously sad to see the waste of human female life - all that we wanted to di that was threarted by a man with a p$&#s - all the plays, movies, articles we could have written or directed, all the cases we could have taken, the governance or policy we could have done or even just the hotel rooms we could have cleaned in peace and restaurant meals we could ah e made and served -- all thwarted in the pursuit of meaningless sex. It seems like such a waste of human imagination and effort.

I so heAr you! I have been sexually harassed from the time I turned 12 in many ways. This one includes groping , unwanted passes , inappropriate comments ( from a former boss, no less. He's still employed by the way) , thankfully never raped or anywhere close, mainly because I closeted myself to the point where I wouldn't be certain places after a certain time, never went unaccompanied anywhere, basically turned into a terrified, risk averse person. If I look back at the person I was before and the person I vid turned into, I feel disappointed. Needless to say I don't trust men anymore, but I have remorse for the loss of potential. I could have achieved a lot more if I weren't so risk averse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

I hate cat calls. They make me feel watched and judged.

[Anonymous]

Definitely a low-level hum. For me, punctuated by a few "minor" assaults but luckily no rape. No overt sexual harassment at work, but definitely some creepy shit... but also plenty of misogynistic comments. And I'm pretty outspoken with a strong personality. Like most dudes know I'm not going to take any shit so I can only imagine what women who aren't like me experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

Are you F***ING KIDDING ME????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I think many women LOOK to be offended by things. I’ve made it 37 years in earth with a good idea of who might be a creeper and who is harmless. I don’t lose my mind because someone tells me I’m pretty or I look nice. On some womens’ scales of sexual harassment those things would actually register, which I think is ridiculous.

Sure ya are.

[Anonymous]

Yup, a pretty common experience for any female working.

I’d out the one that fondled me in his office....except he was fired fir sexual harrassment some time ago.

[Anonymous]

I like flattery. It never went past that. And the flattery is more like when men offer me seats and hold doors for me, not leering at me.

The only time I got upset was when a coworker told me to smile because I was a woman repeatedly for months. I told him to come into my office and I finally laid into him one day. I told him that women don't owe smiles to men and that men would never demand smiles from other men. If he continued I would be filing a complaint with HR. He apologized and didn't do it again. I see that as such a minor thing though in the course of life.

[Anonymous]

OP, just to give you a sense of what it's like: women are constantly negotiating the threat of men. We learn to function like that because we have to survive, it's automatic every second of the day that we're out of the house so it's not exhausting on every level, but it sucks. I don't feel "free" in society if that makes sense. I mean, I'm sure men don't feel "free" because they can't walk down the street at night without being careful about being attacked, but they probably don't mortally fear for their lives when they are walking alone at night. They probably don't change their walking route home from work when it starts to get dark earlier. They probably don't carefully navigate every interaction with the one regular at the coffee shop and the certain colleague at work because of the potential for harm there. They probably don't make a million little decisions to keep themselves safe the way that women have to. And many women have to do this even in their most intimate relationships. Men hurt women. It's a sad fact of life.

[Anonymous]

The news needs a victim-centered non-story to obsess over. Last year, it was people who beileve they are not the sex they were born. Now it’s this.

Ignore. This, too, shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Women are constantly being harassed. Not necessarily every day, but often enough.

I'm not at all surprised at all the allegations - Sadly, I think there are very few men who have never harassed a woman before. Most men still think they're entitled to harass women, or deserve something from them--even if it's just their attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Cat calls is/was such a normal part of life that I never really tracked it.

I do wish women would be honest and admit that to some extent the flattery feels good, it's not all harassment. Knock it off.

Are you F***ING KIDDING ME????

I am a woman and I agree that it does feel good to be catcalled sometimes. Sue me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I'm a woman whose glad this is all coming out, but who is also extremely triggered by it. I have memories of various kinds of sexual assault and harrassment since HS - boobs grabbed, date rape in college, various forms of street harrassment (including literally being picked up and slung over the shoulders of a stranger and carried off on the street at night), older men in my profession (40s) expressing professional interest in me (in my mid-twenties) that then turned to sexual interest, key professional colleagues sexually harrassing me (including the main grantor to my organization), sexual harrassment from my associate mentor after law school (leading me not to take the firm's offer of permanent employment), come-ons from married colleagues, an an emotionally abusive boyfriend who inevitably turned physically abusive and the infidelity of my own husband, etc. My career and income potential suffered greatly. All these things I have always stuffed away except in brief conversations with those closest to me

And even over the past 15-20 years, now, watching my own growing daughter experience the same -- comments about what she wears, boys touching girls unwanted at school, friends of hers in HS confiding about rape, health ed class that reinforces negative sexual stereotypes about girls and boys....

So, yes, your first paragraph is a pretty spot on description of my life, and I don't think I'm any different than other women. It has permanently affected me. I'm exhausted and have basically withdrawn from life both professionally and personally.

I'm glad all of this is coming out, and I'm glad to see heads roll. But, the whole thing has made me tremendously sad to see the waste of human female life - all that we wanted to di that was threarted by a man with a p$&#s - all the plays, movies, articles we could have written or directed, all the cases we could have taken, the governance or policy we could have done or even just the hotel rooms we could have cleaned in peace and restaurant meals we could ah e made and served -- all thwarted in the pursuit of meaningless sex. It seems like such a waste of human imagination and effort.

Woe is me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The news needs a victim-centered non-story to obsess over. Last year, it was people who beileve they are not the sex they were born. Now it’s this.

Ignore. This, too, shall pass.

No, it won't. Women are half of the population and many of us are unwilling to accept this behavior.