Teen party - drop off etiquette!

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing these are all of the "collect all the kids cell phones when they come over parents"

Controlling parents end up with sneaky kids. It's actually comical to hear what the other teens say when they come to my house. These parents hold the reigns tight and their noses up high, but their kids confess some pretty shocking things that their parents know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You email the parent to ask if you can bring something.

But no, I really don't want to turn a basement party with 6 girls into 5-6 helicopters coming in to talk and ruin my weekend night of Netflixing and wine with my husband

Seriously? Is this your second husband or one that you been married to for a while and thus can hold off on date evening to be a responsible parent of a teen with guests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing these are all of the "collect all the kids cell phones when they come over parents"

Controlling parents end up with sneaky kids. It's actually comical to hear what the other teens say when they come to my house. These parents hold the reigns tight and their noses up high, but their kids confess some pretty shocking things that their parents know nothing about.

Were you ever in a movie with Lindsay Lohan?

[Anonymous]

why do I get the idea that all of you know each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why do I get the idea that all of you know each other

It's like some sort of helicopter cult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

This is what I do for my middle schooler.
He doesn't even have a phone.
The range of maturity is ENORMOUS as kids hit their teens, therefore the range in parenting must be equally wide. It is not a one-size-fits-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[The worst behaved teens I knew when I was a teen, and the worst behaved teens I know now that I have teens - are the overbearing parents who think they know best for everyone.

Not the PP, but the worst behaved teens I know have parents who could not tell you where their teenager is on most Friday or Saturday nights, or who go out of town and leave their kids home by themselves "because they're good kids," or who will by a cooler full of beer for the kids in the basement because "they're going to drink somewhere so it might as well be here where we know they'll be safe."

To each their own, but the old story of "my parents were so overbearing and that's why I'm always drunk, stoned, pregnant and out of control" is a tired, worn out old myth.

True indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we call a new acquaintance to ask about whether parents will be home, we're usually told some version of, "Wow, thanks for calling...I'm always surprised that so many parents will drop their kid off at the home of a total stranger without any thought or concern whatsoever!"

There is a huge difference between calling or email ahead of time and coming up and inside the home of the host during the party. No one is saying to just let a teen go off with no checking, but the posters saying they need to meet and talk to the parents for awhile before leaving as strange as heck. The host needs to focus on the party, not hanging out with new weird parents that can't let go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do I get the idea that all of you know each other

It's like some sort of helicopter cult

Haha! Ironically studies show that helicopter moms are more likely to be depressed, anxious, on medication, and have long term health issues. I guess they like to band together.

[Anonymous]

No, it's all the arguing from both sides. I assume in real life you don't like each other either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do I get the idea that all of you know each other

It's like some sort of helicopter cult

Haha! Ironically studies show that helicopter moms are more likely to be depressed, anxious, on medication, and have long term health issues. I guess they like to band together.

Said the parent boozing in her basement. What’s sad is a parent who can’t tell the difference between common courtesy and helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do I get the idea that all of you know each other

It's like some sort of helicopter cult

Haha! Ironically studies show that helicopter moms are more likely to be depressed, anxious, on medication, and have long term health issues. I guess they like to band together.

And we're supposed to believe that helicoptering results in kids who make responsible decisions once they're finally let loose

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't anyone trust their teens. I have a junior and she is perfectly capable of judging whether a situation is safe, legal, and smart, and knows how to deal accordingly. At what age are you all going to finally start expecting your kids to be responsible and allowing them to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I dropped off my child at a Friend's party. I've never met the friend or her parents. The friend was at the door, greeted my daughter and told me the pick up time.
I hung around for a minute, expecting to see a parent and say Hello. No one came by, it was kind of awkward. I guess I could have asked if there was an adult in the house and introduced myself.
A couple of other girls came at the same time, so I left. I was uncomfortable the whole time, texted my DD to make sure there were parents in the house. It was a good party, she had a good time.
Again at pick up time, I rang the door bell and was asked to wait outside while my daughter was fetched. No Hellos, no pleasantries. All the girls were 13/14 year olds!
I just wasn't ready for these cold drop-offs! Missing the ES days, where parents were invited in, we talked about our kids.

How can I have handled this better so I am more comfortable next time? Should I insist on introducing myself to the parents or should I try and be more cool? I dont know how to be cool, when I'm agonizing about this. I'd hate for her to miss out parties because I'm anxious.
Teen parenting is hard Don't other parents want to know who their kid is friends with? Am I so old-fashioned?

Please don’t let the wackadoos on this board convince you that there’s something wrong with you. You know what’s best for your teen and what feels right.

[Anonymous]

I trust my kids to make the right choices and to call me if anything feels uncomfortable or is off. In fact, I trust my kids more than I trust some parents.

That said, all teenagers will make poor descisions. I was once a teenager and I fully remember how easy it can be to go along with your freinds. So my kids know that if they make a bad decision (to get drunk lets say) but call me before they compound that bad decision further, the consequences will be relatively light.