Teen party - drop off etiquette!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That's not weird. It's totally normal.
And maybe she felt excluded or alienated...you know...by your "group" or the girls "group" or the "BFFs plus the new girl" crap.
Here you are, acting like she was being "weird" when you didn't invite her in to meet the moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That is weird, and it’s very poor manners. Aren’t we teaching (younger kids) and modeling (younger and older kids) good manners any more? I have a 12 year old, and that just sounds so rude to me. I would go introduce myself and thank the host. As someone who just moved, I want my name and face (briefly) seen as much as possible, so I’m not a stranger to everyone . I want you to be comfortable with your kids hanging out at my house, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That's not weird. It's totally normal.
And maybe she felt excluded or alienated...you know...by your "group" or the girls "group" or the "BFFs plus the new girl" crap.
Here you are, acting like she was being "weird" when you didn't invite her in to meet the moms.

Dude, you just twisted that around? How can the PP invite her in if she doesn’t even come to the door??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That's not weird. It's totally normal.
And maybe she felt excluded or alienated...you know...by your "group" or the girls "group" or the "BFFs plus the new girl" crap.
Here you are, acting like she was being "weird" when you didn't invite her in to meet the moms.

Dude, you just twisted that around? How can the PP invite her in if she doesn’t even come to the door??

Read the thread.
You call ahead

[Anonymous]

Or maybe the mom had several other young kids at home she needed to get back to. Or maybe a mother or father in the hospital or any of a million other things. Don't judge a mom you don't even know without having Walked In Her Shoes. You have no idea why she didn't come in side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

Eww, I think it is weird to turn your child's party into a social gathering of your BFF's and then not include the newbie's mom and now talk about her because she didn't assume to come to the door and stay for awhile? How caddy can you get mean girl mom? Most moms have their own friends and don't need the social engineering. They don't need to hang at a child's 13th birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

Eww, I think it is weird to turn your child's party into a social gathering of your BFF's and then not include the newbie's mom and now talk about her because she didn't assume to come to the door and stay for awhile? How caddy can you get mean girl mom? Most moms have their own friends and don't need the social engineering. They don't need to hang at a child's 13th birthday party.

+1

I have to agree with this. I have seen it, and it is not pretty - this is where the gossips comes in. I haven't had it done to me, but I have seen it plenty of times. Everyone knows who the gossips and sh!tstirrers are. If someone points it out, then the gossips/sh!stirrers try to deflect, and make complete asses out of themselves.

[Anonymous]

*come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the mom had several other young kids at home she needed to get back to. Or maybe a mother or father in the hospital or any of a million other things. Don't judge a mom you don't even know without having Walked In Her Shoes. You have no idea why she didn't come in side.

+1

She didn't come inside because she is trig to avoid the sh!tstirrers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That is weird, and it’s very poor manners. Aren’t we teaching (younger kids) and modeling (younger and older kids) good manners any more? I have a 12 year old, and that just sounds so rude to me. I would go introduce myself and thank the host. As someone who just moved, I want my name and face (briefly) seen as much as possible, so I’m not a stranger to everyone . I want you to be comfortable with your kids hanging out at my house, too!

Maybe she finds you odd.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread confirms my hypothesis that the worst part of parenting isn't the kids it is the other parents with whom you are forced to interact because their kids are friends with yours. There are some seriously insecure, weird and downright bad parents out there.

[Anonymous]

Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

I agree. I'm surprised when people drop their kids off at my house without coming to the door to meet me. I always go to the door to at least say hello and they know that an adult is present.

I agree. We recently had a small party for my DD's 13th birthday. Her three long-time BFFs plus a girl new to their group. The parents of the long-time BFFs all came in for a little while because we've become friends too. The new girl was dropped off at the curb and was texted to come out for pick up. I thought it was really weird.

That's not weird. It's totally normal.
And maybe she felt excluded or alienated...you know...by your "group" or the girls "group" or the "BFFs plus the new girl" crap.
Here you are, acting like she was being "weird" when you didn't invite her in to meet the moms.

I wanted to invite her in to meet the other parents! She didn't even come up to my door so I could do that, at the beginning or the end of the party. And I don't have any contact info for her -- DD texted her friends the party info to their own phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make a phone call to the parents before accepting the invitation, and if it was well in advance, we might make another phone call the day of or the day before the party. We just introduce ourselves, confirm our kid is coming, and say, "just wanted to make sure adults would be in the house, thanks again for hosting, blah, blah, blah." You know, trust but verify. Oh, and our kids are mortified that we would do this, but they know the alternative is that we are walking them to the door!

At pick up, the standard MO these days is a text from the driveway.

+1
If I don't know the parents I always call, if I know them I might email just saying DD is looking forward to it and double checking that they are aware of the plan and will be home.
DD hates it, but accepts it and now tells her friends, "my mom will probably call your mom... "