Teen party - drop off etiquette!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

THIS! Basic stuff. Can't believe it is even up for discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

THIS! Basic stuff. Can't believe it is even up for discussion.

+1 Great advice from the Police Dispatcher, who has probably heard and seen it all!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread confirms my hypothesis that the worst part of parenting isn't the kids it is the other parents with whom you are forced to interact because their kids are friends with yours. There are some seriously insecure, weird and downright bad parents out there.

+1

I am fine introducing myself, going up to the door, calling, whatever - but when people are trying to bend your ear about what negative they heard about (random parent whose child is present, which you have not yet met) - I'm just not interested in your crazy. I'm interested in where my kid is and with whom, bottom line. Too much room for crazy in some communities, but no one wants to out themselves by speaking up, which I totally understand (no one wants to be on the crazy radar, which would be funny if it weren't so true). Some moms are just too insecure...and nuts... and I can see not wanting any part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Btw, my son is 13. There is no way I’d allow him to attend a party at the house of someone I’ve never met without an introduction.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

THIS! Basic stuff. Can't believe it is even up for discussion.

+1 Great advice from the Police Dispatcher, who has probably heard and seen it all!!!

+ 1,000

[Anonymous]

Listen up, everyone. This is very important.

[Anonymous]

This is why I always lied to my parents about where I was. Then again, people only had parties when their parents weren't home

Kids are more well-behaved these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

Nope - sorry. I know all the kids my daughter hangs out with. I know many of their cell phone numbers and IG's. I do NOT need to know their parents or put a name to a face. This isn't preschool. My concern is my daughter, not socializing with her friends parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

Nope - sorry. I know all the kids my daughter hangs out with. I know many of their cell phone numbers and IG's. I do NOT need to know their parents or put a name to a face. This isn't preschool. My concern is my daughter, not socializing with her friends parents.

It isn't socializing it's knowing who your kids are with and what they are up to. It's basic parenting. My kid is only 11 but was invited to sleep over this past weekend with a new friend. We are new in the neighborhood and barely know the family. So I made him have the kid's mom text me so I could confirm with her that it was ok and that they knew how to reach me if necessary. Granted, my kid is a bit younger than what we're talking about here but I can't imagine letting him go off to some random party in two years and not at least know that an adult is in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

Nope - sorry. I know all the kids my daughter hangs out with. I know many of their cell phone numbers and IG's. I do NOT need to know their parents or put a name to a face. This isn't preschool. My concern is my daughter, not socializing with her friends parents.

So let's say both girls turn up missing? Who do you contact if you have no idea who the parents are? No one is saying you have to be best friends and have cocktails, but the knowledge that Larla's mother is named Susan and seems like a reasonable person is a pretty low bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Police Dispatcher here"
You have no idea how many parents walk into a Police Station and want to report their teen missing because they didnt come home the night before but then have no idea whatsoever who their kids friends are or where they hang out.
99% of the time their kid is at a friends, but we cant start looking if we dont know where to look.

Introducing yourself to a parent at the door and making sure they are home is not helicoptering, it is parenting.
Know your kids friends and their parents, you dont have to hang out but you should be able to put a face to a name and know where they live.

Nope - sorry. I know all the kids my daughter hangs out with. I know many of their cell phone numbers and IG's. I do NOT need to know their parents or put a name to a face. This isn't preschool. My concern is my daughter, not socializing with her friends parents.

So let's say both girls turn up missing? Who do you contact if you have no idea who the parents are? No one is saying you have to be best friends and have cocktails, but the knowledge that Larla's mother is named Susan and seems like a reasonable person is a pretty low bar.

Call the cops. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are so naive. Kids who are going to do this stuff, are going to do it with or without well-intentioned parents in the house. How long does it take for a shot? A pill? a quickie? Teens seem to think they can sneak anything. And unfortunately, they're usually right. Weren't you ever teens? I can think of plenty of things that my siblings and I did that my parents have no idea about, and they helicoptered plenty.

There are naive parents who think that if they "police" situations, they can control what their teen, and what other teens do and do not do; who their teen and other teens hang out with; what their teen and other teens say; ad nauseum. These types of parents are in for a big surprise, not everything can be micromanaged and controlled. Which is why PPs are saying to mind your own house.

Exactly.
At 13 when no kid is autonomous, meeting the parents is fine or not depending on your style. After that, be realistic, it won't do much of anything.

And it depends on the kid. I can be all smug because mine was not sneaky by nature. My only advice is to have a code/system set up so you can "rescue" them if needed and they can save face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No 13 year old of mine is attending a teen party alone without me knowing all about it. Most of you have no idea what goes on here. Liquor is smuggle in, couples make out and more, and pot is consumed.

I'm probably staying upstairs talking to the parents or bringing my Ipad or a book.

that's extremely rude. it's one thing to chat with the parents for a few minutes. but to camp out at their house...ugh, just no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are so naive. Kids who are going to do this stuff, are going to do it with or without well-intentioned parents in the house. How long does it take for a shot? A pill? a quickie? Teens seem to think they can sneak anything. And unfortunately, they're usually right. Weren't you ever teens? I can think of plenty of things that my siblings and I did that my parents have no idea about, and they helicoptered plenty.

There are naive parents who think that if they "police" situations, they can control what their teen, and what other teens do and do not do; who their teen and other teens hang out with; what their teen and other teens say; ad nauseum. These types of parents are in for a big surprise, not everything can be micromanaged and controlled. Which is why PPs are saying to mind your own house.

Exactly.
At 13 when no kid is autonomous, meeting the parents is fine or not depending on your style. After that, be realistic, it won't do much of anything.

And it depends on the kid. I can be all smug because mine was not sneaky by nature. My only advice is to have a code/system set up so you can "rescue" them if needed and they can save face.

Agree. I think some parents don't trust their own kids, which is fine, but don't be blaming my kid, or trying to bring my kid into it, if you can't mind your own kid and their propensities. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask if a parent will be there before giving permission and then insist on meeting the parent when I drop my child off.

Me too!!!