Dating around and "having fun" in your 20s is pointless. I should have settled down

[Anonymous]

I wanted to get married and have kids and my 20s. I would have gladly done so right after college.

Fortunately, I did not meet anyone then. I didn't find out about my severe mental health issues until I was 30. I'm very glad I don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, there are always trade-offs to having children early or late. Hell, there are trade-offs, period. We all tried to do our best with the info we have at the time.

I met DH at 26, married at 30, and still didn't have a kid until I was 35. If I have another, I'll probably be 39 by the time it's born. What can you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?

Third Wave feminism is not about equal rights for women. It is about more rights for women at the expense of taxpayers. It is about making individuals highly dependent on a state (which by default becomes highly indebted). It is about destroying nuclear family by pitting women against men. It is about destroying basic human biology between men and women. It is about weakening communities and countries. It is a bout self-annihilation.
The first wave feminists, many of whom were proud full time mothers, caregivers, and homemakers would be horrified at the display of today's "feminists".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?

Third Wave feminism is not about equal rights for women. It is about more rights for women at the expense of taxpayers. It is about making individuals highly dependent on a state (which by default becomes highly indebted). It is about destroying nuclear family by pitting women against men. It is about destroying basic human biology between men and women. It is about weakening communities and countries. It is a bout self-annihilation.
The first wave feminists, many of whom were proud full time mothers, caregivers, and homemakers would be horrified at the display of today's "feminists".

Agreed. There is nothing feminist about exchanging a husband provider for a government provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married the guy I started dating my senior year of college. We didn't get married for a good while after college, but were together (with a brief time off in between) from the time I was 21. We had a disastrously unhealthy relationship and now I'm 42 and divorced with two small children. I don't regret the marriage per se, but settling down early is no guarantee you're going to end up happy.

I have exactly same story, and I am same age as you, but a happier marriage outcome. I once heard a saying that marriage is like receiving a gift, you just don't know if it will be good or bad. Big part of it is simply luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?

Third Wave feminism is not about equal rights for women. It is about more rights for women at the expense of taxpayers. It is about making individuals highly dependent on a state (which by default becomes highly indebted). It is about destroying nuclear family by pitting women against men. It is about destroying basic human biology between men and women. It is about weakening communities and countries. It is a bout self-annihilation.
The first wave feminists, many of whom were proud full time mothers, caregivers, and homemakers would be horrified at the display of today's "feminists".

I literally have no idea what you're talking about. Any sources for all of this wisdom?

[Anonymous]

Guy here - I was a complete jerk in my early 20's. Yes, I got my MBA at 23 and got a great job but partied real hard in NYC. Fortunately before I got canned a boss kicked my butt and I straightened out. After having chased young hotties I met a really smart, pretty lady who really changed my life. Married at 28 and happy ever since. I don't regret my jerk years but only because I got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?

Third Wave feminism is not about equal rights for women. It is about more rights for women at the expense of taxpayers. It is about making individuals highly dependent on a state (which by default becomes highly indebted). It is about destroying nuclear family by pitting women against men. It is about destroying basic human biology between men and women. It is about weakening communities and countries. It is a bout self-annihilation.
The first wave feminists, many of whom were proud full time mothers, caregivers, and homemakers would be horrified at the display of today's "feminists".

Actually from what i can tell it's about making sure the harvey weinsteins of this world don't get away with their cr@p anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here - I was a complete jerk in my early 20's. Yes, I got my MBA at 23 and got a great job but partied real hard in NYC. Fortunately before I got canned a boss kicked my butt and I straightened out. After having chased young hotties I met a really smart, pretty lady who really changed my life. Married at 28 and happy ever since. I don't regret my jerk years but only because I got lucky.

This only applies to women they should be marrying 10 years older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?

Third Wave feminism is not about equal rights for women. It is about more rights for women at the expense of taxpayers. It is about making individuals highly dependent on a state (which by default becomes highly indebted). It is about destroying nuclear family by pitting women against men. It is about destroying basic human biology between men and women. It is about weakening communities and countries. It is a bout self-annihilation.
The first wave feminists, many of whom were proud full time mothers, caregivers, and homemakers would be horrified at the display of today's "feminists".

I literally have no idea what you're talking about. Any sources for all of this wisdom?

Probably his MRA buddies on Reddit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if we could all magically know who our soul mate/perfect match was and married him/her at a young age, and live happily ever after, this would be ideal. But most people aren't this fortunate, and need to live and grow a bit before meeting the right person. That doesn't happen on any particular timetable.

This. I don't see how people think you can plan this all out.

Because it seems like a lot of people do. I remember looking at all of the folks who seemed to have it all figured out wondering how they knew? Like an earlier poster I wasn't really taught anything about relationships growing up. I wasn't allowed to date in high school so no real oversight or guidance was there when I did start dating in college. I was just told to go to college and meet my husband there and he should be a doctor, lawyer or some other professional/high earner (my mom was a SAHM who became a teacher, father a veep at an international company). That was it. This means I dated a lot of great on paper doctor, lawyer high earner guys who were jerks for far too long. Once I got mature enough to figure out what I wanted vs. what was expected of me, it turns out I like altruistic and artistic men. I married an elem school teacher in my mid-30s.

But so much of it is luck. And different people mature at different rates. I imagine you see many different long term outcomes for people who married and had kids at a young age. Some good, some bad. Just like different outcomes for people who didn't find someone and marry until later. You just don't know what life has in store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time seeing how having an abortion at 25 proves anything other than how lucky it was that you had that option available to you, if you weren't ready to be a parent.

No, my career trajectory would not have changed. So at the very least I'd have the same career plus a beautiful daughter or son.

With all due respect, only someone without kids could be so clueless about the impact that having a child has on your life. Really? You think you’d have the same great job and career if you’d become a single mom in your 20’s. You need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

I didnt meet my husband until I was in my 30s. Had kids in my 30s. Partied a lot beforehand. Have a great career amd husband and kids. I know that if I had met my husband 10 years earlier, it wouldnt have worked out, and hes an awesome husband/father. So it all worked out as far as Im concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my favorite aphorisms is “It’ll all be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.”

You still have time, don’t worry. You’ll meet the one and still have a satisfying career.

Yeah, sure, tell that to people dying of cancer at 39 with little kids to care for.