Guy I was seeing broke up with me because I talked (flirted?) to other guys at a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank your lucky stars. This is a classic opening ploy of an abuser. Jealosy is a common problem for them and it is not a subject that can be rationalized. He is grooming you. He is training you to always be wary of upsetting him. He is training you to walk on eggshells and believe his feelings are more important than yours and that your behaviour affects his feelings.

Just walk away. Avoid any further contact.

You are certifiably insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twenty years ago I'd just started dating my husband (much more introverted than I am, started dating end of freshman year) and was a sophomore in college. We went to a Halloween party. He got tired and wanted to leave. He said that there was no reason my night should have to end if I was having fun. I bumped into a (very cute) man who was in one of my classes and he asked me to dance. We ended up party hopping / dancing at a few parties. He knew I was dating someone else. At any rate, at the end of the evening I said good night to him and want back to the dorms and crawled into bed with my (now) husband. He asked if I'd had fun. I don't expect everyone to be that understanding but appreciated that he was going to be a relationship with trust and not much (any?) jealousy. If you're extroverted, naturally flirtatious, or not ready to act differently this man might not be for you.

Oh, I'd forgotten that on a earlier date to a BBQ with a bunch of his friends whom I didn't know my husband had asked if I was embarrassed to be with him. I was really surprised because I'd been trying not to be clingy / cramp his style at all. I guess I want overboard giving him space. Other that discussion when we were figuring out each other's preferences I don't remember it being a problem.

Hanging out with a male friend is different than going to a party as someone's date and spending lots of time in other men's faces while he's there.

I trust my guy to hang out with friends too, but that talking to females while I'm there as your date WHEN WE'RE JUST STARTING OUT and building trust is a no no.

You and your bf already had an established foundation. You can't assume he'd be okay in the situation very early on before he knew he could trust you.

It was likely seeing how you behaved at parties with him that put him at such ease later on.

Apples and oranges.

When you two are at parties, your bf never talks to a woman beyond basic greetings?

[Anonymous]

If you have to think back and can't recall overtly flirting, then you probably were not. I know when I'm flirting and I'd remember doing it. I think he is not interested and used this as the reason to end it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank your lucky stars. This is a classic opening ploy of an abuser. Jealosy is a common problem for them and it is not a subject that can be rationalized. He is grooming you. He is training you to always be wary of upsetting him. He is training you to walk on eggshells and believe his feelings are more important than yours and that your behaviour affects his feelings.

Just walk away. Avoid any further contact.

LOL Women are notorious for the type of behavior OPs boyfriend showed. Do you think they are abusers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank your lucky stars. This is a classic opening ploy of an abuser. Jealosy is a common problem for them and it is not a subject that can be rationalized. He is grooming you. He is training you to always be wary of upsetting him. He is training you to walk on eggshells and believe his feelings are more important than yours and that your behaviour affects his feelings.

Just walk away. Avoid any further contact.

LOL Women are notorious for the type of behavior OPs boyfriend showed. Do you think they are abusers?

They are

[Anonymous]

You're better off without him. Stead clear.

[Anonymous]

OP, you shit-tested him by flirting with other men at a party to which you were supposed to have been his date.

He decided that, although he thought that the relationship had potential, he did not like being shit-tested.

There are plenty of men who put up with shit-testing for access to your vagina. He's just not one of them.

Move on, OP.

[Anonymous]

If I just started dating a guy and we go to a party and I see him working the room - well specifically females, then it would be over for me too.

There is a difference between casually chatting with various people (male and female at the party) and being flirty. Flirty isn't always sexual - it is touch, smiling / laughing a little too much at everything they say, body language and leaning in, compliments etc.

[Anonymous]

Funny thing OP, is that now that he has refused to take your shit-testing, you want him even more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ1_aK8VdvU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flirty isn't always sexual - it is touch, smiling / laughing a little too much at everything they say, body language and leaning in, compliments etc.

But that is sexual. I would never do that stuff with family, in a professional setting, or
with people of the same gender. The reason I wouldn't is because there is a sexual undercurrent to the behavior you describe.

[Anonymous]

I will tell you that if I went to a party with a person I just started dating and spent my time "building contacts" with a bunch of other women because I was "new to the area," I wouldn't expect it to be well received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a looser. Run. Run. Run.

And Call one of the other guys from the party

+1

[Anonymous]

OP was playing the field or trying to get non-exclusive BF jealous and it crashed and burned. Now she came to DCUM because the women will all tell how lucky she is to have found out etc. Truth is she was on a date and was flirting with other guys, guy was right to run away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is a looser. Run. Run. Run.

And Call one of the other guys from the party

+1

OP is the loser. The guy is lucky that she revealed her true colors early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a looser. Run. Run. Run.

And Call one of the other guys from the party

+1