Sister-in-Law doesn't want to be a parent

[Anonymous]

The reason you're not getting a lot of sympathy here is you're primarily pissed that your SIL inconvenienced you for one day, and you're trying to frame it like you're angry on TK's behalf. Maybe you should spend less energy criticizing your SIL and more time stepping up for TK. Both you and your SIL sound pretty self absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

Thank you. Last weekend was just one example of SIL's behavior, and I needed to vent because it added a ton of stress to an already challenging day. I'm fascinated by the responses I got here, because DH, MIL, and DH's cousin all had the same reaction I did.

Of course they told you that. Because you're a massively judgmental drama queen with all of your experience parenting one 5-month-old.

After all it was YOUR day to take advantage of MIL, not her own daughter's!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

She didn't. The kid came for grandma, not her. And he was supposed to be there that afternoon anyway! Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason you're not getting a lot of sympathy here is you're primarily pissed that your SIL inconvenienced you for one day, and you're trying to frame it like you're angry on TK's behalf. Maybe you should spend less energy criticizing your SIL and more time stepping up for TK. Both you and your SIL sound pretty self absorbed.

She gets my sympathy. I also didn't see her framing the issue as "being angry on TK's behalf."

It's easy to tell her how to handle a situation from your keyboard. All you bitches need to take a breath and back off. She was absolutely entitled to be pissed here. And SIL would absolutely know that, going forward, this will not happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

She didn't. The kid came for grandma, not her. And he was supposed to be there that afternoon anyway! Ridiculous.

And grandma was there to help the OP. That was the deal. Sounds like that is the problem. OP is always accommodating her SIL. That's not TK's fault but OP is valid in being ticked. There is nothing to suggest OP doesn't care for or otherwise accommodate TK. That doesn't mean she needs to sacrifice every bit of help or all of her time to be a substitute parent for TK. It was one freaking day. ONE. SIL should have been required to handle her own kid for a few more hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

She didn't. The kid came for grandma, not her. And he was supposed to be there that afternoon anyway! Ridiculous.

And grandma was there to help the OP. That was the deal. Sounds like that is the problem. OP is always accommodating her SIL. That's not TK's fault but OP is valid in being ticked. There is nothing to suggest OP doesn't care for or otherwise accommodate TK. That doesn't mean she needs to sacrifice every bit of help or all of her time to be a substitute parent for TK. It was one freaking day. ONE. SIL should have been required to handle her own kid for a few more hours.

No, OP is just jealous because she wants to use MIL for free labor and babysitting. Mark my words.

OP, if your MIL feels over-burdened by SIL, that's between MIL and SIL. It's MIL's business if she wants to have her older grandkid there while she helps you. You don't own your MIL.

[Anonymous]

I would be really irritated by this move from SIL. She sounds like a piece of work. Be there for your nephew. He will need you.

[Anonymous]

I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

LOL. Oh you're a martyr, aren't you? Poor me! I've got to vacation with my children for a week. The only jerk around here is in your bathroom mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

She didn't. The kid came for grandma, not her. And he was supposed to be there that afternoon anyway! Ridiculous.

And grandma was there to help the OP. That was the deal. Sounds like that is the problem. OP is always accommodating her SIL. That's not TK's fault but OP is valid in being ticked. There is nothing to suggest OP doesn't care for or otherwise accommodate TK. That doesn't mean she needs to sacrifice every bit of help or all of her time to be a substitute parent for TK. It was one freaking day. ONE. SIL should have been required to handle her own kid for a few more hours.

No, OP is just jealous because she wants to use MIL for free labor and babysitting. Mark my words.

OP, if your MIL feels over-burdened by SIL, that's between MIL and SIL. It's MIL's business if she wants to have her older grandkid there while she helps you. You don't own your MIL.

Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, is it?

[Anonymous]

The people bashing OP are being really weird in this thread. She's not mad at the kid (and she says she didn't say anything about it in front of the kid), she's mad at her useless SIL.

Come on, if you're SIL was a terrible parent, wouldn't you have judgmental thoughts about that situation? Especially if you felt that you or your MIL was being taken advantage of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

This is insanely immature.

It was your choice to have three kids. You made your bed, now lie in it.

If I were you, I'd keep thoughts like this to myself from now on because it does not reflect well on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

Two of the three are teenagers. Not the same at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

This is insanely immature.

It was your choice to have three kids. You made your bed, now lie in it.

If I were you, I'd keep thoughts like this to myself from now on because it does not reflect well on you.

Totally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop being so dramatic. No one is suggesting that they left TK alone all day or berated him for having a shitty mother. The fact of the matter is that op is valid in her feelings that the plan for the day was to get something pretty big accomplished. She has one child, so it's not unreasonable that she doesn't want to randomly have to watch out for an additional child while moving homes.

She didn't. The kid came for grandma, not her. And he was supposed to be there that afternoon anyway! Ridiculous.

And grandma was there to help the OP. That was the deal. Sounds like that is the problem. OP is always accommodating her SIL. That's not TK's fault but OP is valid in being ticked. There is nothing to suggest OP doesn't care for or otherwise accommodate TK. That doesn't mean she needs to sacrifice every bit of help or all of her time to be a substitute parent for TK. It was one freaking day. ONE. SIL should have been required to handle her own kid for a few more hours.

No, OP is just jealous because she wants to use MIL for free labor and babysitting. Mark my words.

OP, if your MIL feels over-burdened by SIL, that's between MIL and SIL. It's MIL's business if she wants to have her older grandkid there while she helps you. You don't own your MIL.

THANK YOU. This IMO is the crux of the issue. SIL didn't ask OP to watch her kid. OP wanted MIL to help HER and that's why she's annoyed. I also agree with PP that MIL likely placates OP when OP complains about SIL. Guarantee you that when MIL and SIL are together it's a different story completely.