Sister-in-Law doesn't want to be a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people bashing OP are being really weird in this thread. She's not mad at the kid (and she says she didn't say anything about it in front of the kid), she's mad at her useless SIL.

Come on, if you're SIL was a terrible parent, wouldn't you have judgmental thoughts about that situation? Especially if you felt that you or your MIL was being taken advantage of?

There's not a lot of evidence that SIL is a terrible parent, but OP comes off extremely whiny and entitled. And MIL is presumably an adult and can handle herself.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hire movers. Problem solved.

People are so cheap.

THIS!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

This is insanely immature.

It was your choice to have three kids. You made your bed, now lie in it.

If I were you, I'd keep thoughts like this to myself from now on because it does not reflect well on you.

Totally.

Yeah, especially since a lot of judgmental people would rip you a new one for daring to express that a sainted mother was not eternally energetic and grateful for the mere opportunity to bask presence of her wonderful offspring. It is entirely possible to love your children with ever fiber of your being and still be wiped out at the end of a long week. (Particularly when they days have an extra three hours in them. :wink

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

I can't imagine asking my mom or MIL to drive hours to help me move when we could pay someone a reasons amount to do it for us. Are finances really tight OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly but 3 kids 27/7 for 7 days is exhausting. I still do it of course and have never had a nanny but a mother of one child for 5 months has no idea how tiring (yet fun!). And the nephew was coming over later that day anyway. SIL may be a bad mother but OP is an entitled jerk. And those of you that agree with her are too.

This is insanely immature.

It was your choice to have three kids. You made your bed, now lie in it.

If I were you, I'd keep thoughts like this to myself from now on because it does not reflect well on you.

Totally.

Wha? It's not ok for a mom to say it's exhausting to spend 24/7 with 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people bashing OP are being really weird in this thread. She's not mad at the kid (and she says she didn't say anything about it in front of the kid), she's mad at her useless SIL.

Come on, if you're SIL was a terrible parent, wouldn't you have judgmental thoughts about that situation? Especially if you felt that you or your MIL was being taken advantage of?

I don't think there's any evidence here that she's a "terrible parent." Overwhelmed, maybe. Could be sick, could have depression, the 7 year old could be particularly challenging. "Terrible parent" is the mom harassing her chubby 16 year old in the other thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

I can't imagine asking my mom or MIL to drive hours to help me move when we could pay someone a reasons amount to do it for us. Are finances really tight OP?

OP here. Helping each other move is the norm in our families. We helped MIL move right before I got pregnant. We helped SIL a couple of years ago. When my parents relocated to Florida, DH and I helped with that too.My dad flew.out to.Minnesota to help us move to DC years ago. If a family member is.moving and you can help, you do. Just how it is in our families. But, frankly, I'm not going to throw money at movers when we only moved 2 blocks away.

Reading DCUM, it also seems like.most people have housecleaners. I've hired a cleaner exactly once, and that was when we sold our old house. Otherwise, DH and I clean our own home. We have the money, but it's not something we would spend it on. Different values and priorities for people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

My DH and all his friends are workout fanatics, yet we hire movers.
OP you are cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

I can't imagine asking my mom or MIL to drive hours to help me move when we could pay someone a reasons amount to do it for us. Are finances really tight OP?

OP here. Helping each other move is the norm in our families. We helped MIL move right before I got pregnant. We helped SIL a couple of years ago. When my parents relocated to Florida, DH and I helped with that too.My dad flew.out to.Minnesota to help us move to DC years ago. If a family member is.moving and you can help, you do. Just how it is in our families. But, frankly, I'm not going to throw money at movers when we only moved 2 blocks away.

Reading DCUM, it also seems like.most people have housecleaners. I've hired a cleaner exactly once, and that was when we sold our old house. Otherwise, DH and I clean our own home. We have the money, but it's not something we would spend it on. Different values and priorities for people.

My family didn't hire mover either, we helped people move. Then we decided that we would hire movers. We don't need to follow what our families do. We have our own brain.

[Anonymous]

I'm fascinated by the number of people hung up on hiring or not hiring movers.

Walking around my neighborhood today, I saw 3 houses with U Haul trucks. The horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you hire movers? Most people do.

Because her MIL is apparently a spry 50+ year old....

I can't imagine asking my mom or MIL to drive hours to help me move when we could pay someone a reasons amount to do it for us. Are finances really tight OP?

OP here. Helping each other move is the norm in our families. We helped MIL move right before I got pregnant. We helped SIL a couple of years ago. When my parents relocated to Florida, DH and I helped with that too.My dad flew.out to.Minnesota to help us move to DC years ago. If a family member is.moving and you can help, you do. Just how it is in our families. But, frankly, I'm not going to throw money at movers when we only moved 2 blocks away.

Reading DCUM, it also seems like.most people have housecleaners. I've hired a cleaner exactly once, and that was when we sold our old house. Otherwise, DH and I clean our own home. We have the money, but it's not something we would spend it on. Different values and priorities for people.

"Different values and priorities" = not hiring cleaners.

Op, you are SO extra. And you don't even see it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you posted originally to complain about what a lousy parent your SIL is. But as many PPs have already commented, what you're really annoyed about is the fact that she's infringing on what you see as your exclusive claim on your MIL's time to help you move.

Here's the thing: your MIL is not your property. She has a choice in what she does. If she wants to take on responsibility for your nephew, her grandson, that's her choice. And your tough luck.

And while I get that your family doesn't hire movers yadayada, here's another thing - you'd have a legitimate complaint if you had hired movers and they instead chose to watch your nephew. So the bottom line is that you get what you pay for. And kudos to your MIL for helping all her kids and grandchildren so readily. A little gratitude from ALL of you might be nice.

So next time you want to complain about what a lousy parent your SIL is, maybe you should look in the mirror and think about where you stack up in the rankings of DILs.

[Anonymous]

No, I was annoyed by SIL once again abdicating her parental responsibility again, and changing up agreed upon schedules with no notice to suit her desires. Just like she does every holiday. Just like she did when she visited us in Minnesota. Just like she did when we all took FIL for a long weekend 60th birthday trip. This time it just happened to involve MIL.