Never do a DNA test if you don't want the answers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to get my DH to find his birth mother. I wish it would work out like this but I know it doesn't always.

If he doesn't want to do it. Leave it be.

This. It isn't your choice. It is your DH's choice and his alone. This is none of your business.

Why would you try and make your husband do this? It's his choice, not yours.

On behalf of him, Back Off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who the heck really cares about a "family" that really isn't a family. A sperm donor and his offspring are irrelevant imho.

I respect your opinion. That's how you feel, but we do not share that. My family and I are very close, so I naturally value my siblings very much and would never dream of just forcing ourselves on them. However, they, also deeply desire this relationship and have always wanted a sister. Thanks for your input!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

First step would be a DNA test. Then upload the raw data to GEDmatch.com as well since they have a huge data base. You can then sort out maybe what common last names are showing up in the dna matches. Additionally getting someone to do a DNA test from the fathers side will allow you to triangulate the dna to see which are related on dad's side and on mom's side.

How do you do this if you got your test done through another group, such as 23andme?

Most services have a way to download your raw data from their site and then you can choose to upload it to another site. You will usually find info on the FAQs page. Let me know if you need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

That is a lovely way to view it, always keep your glass is half full view of this (as you know you'll always have naysayers who disapprove).

I hope I wasn't being too nosy when I asked about your mom cheating, this whole situation though is just so fascinating.
Imagine if you'd never done that DNA test??

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. It sounds like you haven't actually done a DNA test to see if you're related to this family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

While I concede it is possible this was a one time thing for your bio (I prefer that over birth) father I suspect there may be more like you.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 brothers and a sister. I am an adoptee and found them about 15 years ago. They are pretty much FB acquaintences..really don't care at all. Sigh. Not a teary reunion story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. It sounds like you haven't actually done a DNA test to see if you're related to this family?

She didn't state in her initial post that they had done a DNA test, however in one of the OP's follow up responses she mentioned that the DNA was confirmed.

[Anonymous]

So your bio Dad slipped your mom a Micky, raped her in a hotel room....and his family is welcoming you with a family reunion?

[Anonymous]

You brought tears to my eyes.
Best of luck to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

That is a lovely way to view it, always keep your glass is half full view of this (as you know you'll always have naysayers who disapprove).

I hope I wasn't being too nosy when I asked about your mom cheating, this whole situation though is just so fascinating.
Imagine if you'd never done that DNA test??

Oh, no worries! If I was worried about it, I shouldn't have posted, you were just fine. It's facts from 50 years ago, who cares right? Was it right? Of course not but it happened I'm here. I cannot cast the first stone and of all people, I'm the one most affected and I've forgiven her so I hope she can forgive herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. It sounds like you haven't actually done a DNA test to see if you're related to this family?

Oh yes, I have. I have and the oldest of the family. We are definitely half siblings. It so happens that he had already done one on Ancestry. My first was on 23 and me , I did a second one on Ancestry JUST to check lol. So we only waited a week from the time we realized he was probably my brother until my results were in. Great timing. He called me that very sweet Saturday as soon as it was in, crying, and said, "Hello sweet sister." We cried and talked more, and I had calls from the others brothers, nieces and nephews that day. It was very sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

While I concede it is possible this was a one time thing for your bio (I prefer that over birth) father I suspect there may be more like you.

Highly likely although they're not on any of the DNA sites that I have checked. I did find someone that my "newer" family did not know and they are highly related to us but not 1/2 sibling. It ends up they are most likely a cousin from my birth dad's brother. Correct timing, correct city, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

My mom and dad were already on rocky ground at that point. My birth dad had an appointment at their house through his work, he had a sweet southern accent. My mom felt alone and this sweet southern guy was giving her attention. It was the perfect storm. So yes, they both had an affair.

I will definitely repost after the trip. I feel blessed. I have no issues about how I came to be. 2 people made a bad choice but something good came of it.

That is a lovely way to view it, always keep your glass is half full view of this (as you know you'll always have naysayers who disapprove).

I hope I wasn't being too nosy when I asked about your mom cheating, this whole situation though is just so fascinating.
Imagine if you'd never done that DNA test??

Oh, no worries! If I was worried about it, I shouldn't have posted, you were just fine. It's facts from 50 years ago, who cares right? Was it right? Of course not but it happened I'm here. I cannot cast the first stone and of all people, I'm the one most affected and I've forgiven her so I hope she can forgive herself.

Ok, thanks.
Even though this is an anonymous site, I still always try to be as respectful as I'd want others to be towards me.

Like I said, your story is absolutely fascinating & I hope you've been documenting each detail of your journey?
This would make for an award winning documentary, no doubt.
Have you considered possibly writing a book after your father & their mother passes? You can always write it under a pen name, as well.

It's truly remarkable how DNA tests can change a perception you've had your entire life within seconds.

Have you seen this wonderful video?
I cry every single gosh darn time I watch it without fail, lol.
I've also watched each of the videos in their entirety of all of the folks within this one.

https://youtu.be/tyaEQEmt5ls