Reconnecting with an old AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

Sorry OP, but she's not a smart cookie. A well balanced smart woman does not sleep with a married man.
Face it, you didn't know her and have been wasting years fantasizing over what doesn't exist. If you paid bills
with her living day to day it would be another set of problems. Back to point A.

Yep, I think you have idealized her in your head. Forget her and focus your energies on bringing back the spark with your wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Also, an affair is all the good parts of a relationship and none of the bad. No household chores, no bills, no in-laws... How have you not realized that!?

[Anonymous]

OP, how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Also, an affair is all the good parts of a relationship and none of the bad. No household chores, no bills, no in-laws... How have you not realized that!?

No screaming kids or money issues. He's obviously very immature destined to mess up his life unless he gets a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Also, an affair is all the good parts of a relationship and none of the bad. No household chores, no bills, no in-laws... How have you not realized that!?

I've known very few that ended up for the long haul. Usually after allowing their life to be destroyed it wasn't any better with the one they cheated with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have her mailing address at home or work? Send her a postcard but maybe leave it blank. She'll know it's from you based on the postcard or handwriting.

Maybe not. I wouldn't recognize my AP's penmanship. This would probably come off as incredibly creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Also, an affair is all the good parts of a relationship and none of the bad. No household chores, no bills, no in-laws... How have you not realized that!?

EXACTLY. It's appealing because it's all the fun exciting parts and none of the day to day crap. It's a fantasy, an escape...but, ultimately, it's an unrealistic fantasy.

[Anonymous]

I keep thinking about my friend too. She was married, had 3 kids, wonderful husband yet she felt the thrill of an affair was okay as long as no one found out.

She met up with her slice on the side one day in a town over from where she lived. He got in the car and shot her in the head then shot himself.

Now the thrill is gone. Forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep thinking about my friend too. She was married, had 3 kids, wonderful husband yet she felt the thrill of an affair was okay as long as no one found out.

She met up with her slice on the side one day in a town over from where she lived. He got in the car and shot her in the head then shot himself.

Now the thrill is gone. Forever.

I'll bet she told him she was never going to leave her husband. Many years ago a husband walked in on his wife with a co-worker. While one was calling 911 he shot the wife then the bf. Part of it was on 911, pretty scary stuff.

[Anonymous]

In AZ a woman shot her husband in the penis for having an affair. Ouch! Google it, just happened. She's still in jail on $750k bail. He survived, but hopefully learned his lesson. Willy won't ever be the same though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have her mailing address at home or work? Send her a postcard but maybe leave it blank. She'll know it's from you based on the postcard or handwriting.

Maybe not. I wouldn't recognize my AP's penmanship. This would probably come off as incredibly creepy.

I absolutely would recognize his handwriting. But I'm almost certain he wouldn't recognize mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have her mailing address at home or work? Send her a postcard but maybe leave it blank. She'll know it's from you based on the postcard or handwriting.

Maybe not. I wouldn't recognize my AP's penmanship. This would probably come off as incredibly creepy.

I absolutely would recognize his handwriting. But I'm almost certain he wouldn't recognize mine.

Childish and immature. Some people on here shouldn't be married until they grow up.

[Anonymous]

Female here. I ended an affair three years ago, too. (I'm not petite-- so I'm not your ex...) I loved him very much but I just couldn't live with myself anymore. I think about him every day, and if I wanted to, I'd contact him. I don't want to contact him and it would freak me out if he reached out to me. It would make me angry. It's been three years! Don't disrupt her life. I guarantee it was very very difficult for her to get over you, and you have no idea the harm your outreach could do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for his wife who has been in a FAKE marriage all this time. I would want to know so I could divorce and find a real partner. This is why women need to spot check their partner. Wasting years with a creep is horrible, plus the risk to her health is disturbing. At least if she knew he was cheating she could stop having sex with him. Also, what does that say about the other woman?? She's a whore that he's willing to risk his marriage and lose his kids over. OP I'd get my shit together.

I missed the part where he paid the AP to have sex with him. In that case, just call her pimp and make an appointment for next Wednesday.

I guess some people have morals and values, while some don't. Someone that sleeps with married people, or married people that sleep around are considered whores by many. If you don't like that term...how about low lifes.

Overall he's wasting oxygen on trash. I would recommend OP get some therapy to raise the bar in his life.

I see. You're one of those women who hold your husband blameless for banging his coworker. Had she not been such a whore, he would have remained faithful.

Just because many people misuse language doesn't make it correct.

They both did a pretty scummy thing. For all we know, she has turned her life around in the past three years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for his wife who has been in a FAKE marriage all this time. I would want to know so I could divorce and find a real partner. This is why women need to spot check their partner. Wasting years with a creep is horrible, plus the risk to her health is disturbing. At least if she knew he was cheating she could stop having sex with him. Also, what does that say about the other woman?? She's a whore that he's willing to risk his marriage and lose his kids over. OP I'd get my shit together.

I missed the part where he paid the AP to have sex with him. In that case, just call her pimp and make an appointment for next Wednesday.

I guess some people have morals and values, while some don't. Someone that sleeps with married people, or married people that sleep around are considered whores by many. If you don't like that term...how about low lifes.

Overall he's wasting oxygen on trash. I would recommend OP get some therapy to raise the bar in his life.

I see. You're one of those women who hold your husband blameless for banging his coworker. Had she not been such a whore, he would have remained faithful.

Just because many people misuse language doesn't make it correct.

They both did a pretty scummy thing. For all we know, she has turned her life around in the past three years.

Don't know where you got all that, but I would divorce a cheating scumbag. Both are equally responsible. Who cares if her life is turned around. I knew very young married people are off limits. Not acceptable.