Reconnecting with an old AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go for it. The women on DCUM really didn't t care much for sex at all (just read the last 3 pages of the business trip thread).

Is there a phone number or other communication means you can dig up?

Where DO those women come from?! Awful.

[Anonymous]

If she ended it then no - do not contact her.

[Anonymous]

She ended is abruptly because she either got caught or woke up from the affair fog. Assuming this affair was mutually passionate for her, it was hard for her to rip the bandaid off.

Do not contact her. She knows you still think about her and care. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Sure, but man up and leave your wife first, 'kay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ended is abruptly because she either got caught or woke up from the affair fog. Assuming this affair was mutually passionate for her, it was hard for her to rip the bandaid off.

Do not contact her. She knows you still think about her and care. Move on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Three YEARS since it ended?

How long was this affair? And doesn't your wife feel that you're not all there for her since you've been pining away for your girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

If she works, visit her at her office. Or "run into her" at her office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she works, visit her at her office. Or "run into her" at her office.

This is terrible advice. She ended it. Move on. Don't be a stalker.

[Anonymous]

You don't know what her husband knows or what kind of transparency she is giving him.

Call her office line from your office line. Less traceable by spouses, and she will see the caller ID and decide if she wants to pick up.

My office VM sends a sound file to my email, so consider that before leaving a message.

But what are you looking to gain? Unless you're both willing to leave your spouses, all you can give each other is the emotional roller coaster of sneaking around and sex. If I decided to end my affair, this probably wouldn't be something I would want.

[Anonymous]

You could also view her linkedin profile which would let her know you were curious and looking her up without alerting her husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could also view her linkedin profile which would let her know you were curious and looking her up without alerting her husband

This would be ideal, but sadly I unplugged my LinkedIn a while ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know what her husband knows or what kind of transparency she is giving him.

Call her office line from your office line. Less traceable by spouses, and she will see the caller ID and decide if she wants to pick up.

My office VM sends a sound file to my email, so consider that before leaving a message.

But what are you looking to gain? Unless you're both willing to leave your spouses, all you can give each other is the emotional roller coaster of sneaking around and sex. If I decided to end my affair, this probably wouldn't be something I would want.

I don't really know. I get that she ended it, and the last thing I want to do is upset her. But I miss the connection we had, and the thought of never having that again makes me very sad.

[Anonymous]

Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't know what her husband knows or what kind of transparency she is giving him.

Call her office line from your office line. Less traceable by spouses, and she will see the caller ID and decide if she wants to pick up.

My office VM sends a sound file to my email, so consider that before leaving a message.

But what are you looking to gain? Unless you're both willing to leave your spouses, all you can give each other is the emotional roller coaster of sneaking around and sex. If I decided to end my affair, this probably wouldn't be something I would want.

I don't really know. I get that she ended it, and the last thing I want to do is upset her. But I miss the connection we had, and the thought of never having that again makes me very sad.

Have you been to therapy?

[Anonymous]

OP Why did you get married if you want to cheat? Why don't you divorce and date?

Sorry but this is very sleazy to your wife, kids and that other husband. People get killed over this stuff.
My advice is to leave it alone. Try to improve your marriage or divorce.