Reconnecting with an old AP

[Anonymous]

^^Exactly. I'm the female pp who ended an affair 3 years ago. "Turned my life around" is the perfect way of putting it. I would never again have an affair and the last thing I'd want is for my old AP to contact me, as much as he meant to me. I'm a different person than I was three years ago and I'm mortified whenever I think about my actions from those days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Exactly. I'm the female pp who ended an affair 3 years ago. "Turned my life around" is the perfect way of putting it. I would never again have an affair and the last thing I'd want is for my old AP to contact me, as much as he meant to me. I'm a different person than I was three years ago and I'm mortified whenever I think about my actions from those days.

Same. Exactly same. My affair never got physical but it was definitely intense, and I've learned, changed and grown a lot since then. With some healthy distance I realized what was missing in my life that caused me to go down that road, and I've taken charge of my shit and made changes. My husband and I have gone down a long tough road to work on our marriage, but we're doing well these days. I will never go down that road again, and while occasionally he will pop into my head I certainly have no desire to reconnect and I would be very unhappy with him if he contacted me. I too would describe myself as a different person than 4 years ago, and if he contacted me my basic message would be to tell him to get his head out of his a$$. Don't.

[Anonymous]

I had an old AP from 4 years ago contact me on FB. Super annoying. Our affair ran its course. It was fun while it lasted, we got out before we got caught. I am still happily married. I had fond memories of AP but now she is kind of a stalker to me.

Leave it alone, OP

[Anonymous]

It looks like she wanted to end it & if that is the case, then just let her go.

Perhaps she just wanted to work on her marriage issues and maybe had some regret.

If she is still married, I wouldn't open up that jar of worms again.

You will only be looking for trouble I promise you.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an old AP from 4 years ago contact me on FB. Super annoying. Our affair ran its course. It was fun while it lasted, we got out before we got caught. I am still happily married. I had fond memories of AP but now she is kind of a stalker to me.

Leave it alone, OP

What was her FB message? Curious what she'd say after four years of silence. Was it a simple "How are you" that annoyed you so much?

Did you respond?

[Anonymous]

OP, don't listen to these self righteous motos, contact her, discreetly, she will either respond or not. Its been 3 years, if she's still on your mind, there must have been something there. What do you have to lose?

[Anonymous]

Oh please, contact her. Who cares if she thinks you are a stalker?, She just won't respond and you leave it alone after that.

[Anonymous]

Op, how long did it go on? Did you share I love yous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, how long did it go on? Did you share I love yous?

Not long - about four months. It was short, but intense. We talked about love, but never actually said it to each other. She knew I was in love with her, though. I knew it almost immediately.

[Anonymous]

OP- so you've been thinking about this woman for all these years after a four-month affair. After she ended it.

You really need to move on. Try to be there for your wife and your marriage instead of just going thru the motions.

Contrary to some of the advice given here, go ahead and reach out to her. So when you don't get an answer or she tells you outright to never contact her again, you'll get what you need to snap out of fantasy land and focus on your real relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, how long did it go on? Did you share I love yous?

Not long - about four months. It was short, but intense. We talked about love, but never actually said it to each other. She knew I was in love with her, though. I knew it almost immediately.

Four months?! This (infinitely) solidifies the fact that this woman is built up as a total fantasy in your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, how long did it go on? Did you share I love yous?

Not long - about four months. It was short, but intense. We talked about love, but never actually said it to each other. She knew I was in love with her, though. I knew it almost immediately.

Four months?! This (infinitely) solidifies the fact that this woman is built up as a total fantasy in your mind.

Exactly. Lust only and sadly he's been wasting time on this instead of living his real life.