Reconnecting with an old AP

[Anonymous]

Do you have her mailing address at home or work? Send her a postcard but maybe leave it blank. She'll know it's from you based on the postcard or handwriting.

[Anonymous]

This (both the affair and the lingering feelings) are not fair to your wife. Imagine if she did this to you? I think it's time to come clean with your wife and start couples therapy.

[Anonymous]

If she ended it leave her alone. Please. If she wanted to talk to you she'd reach out. She ended it for a reason, it's been 3 years. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for his wife who has been in a FAKE marriage all this time. I would want to know so I could divorce and find a real partner. This is why women need to spot check their partner. Wasting years with a creep is horrible, plus the risk to her health is disturbing. At least if she knew he was cheating she could stop having sex with him. Also, what does that say about the other woman?? She's a whore that he's willing to risk his marriage and lose his kids over. OP I'd get my shit together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have her mailing address at home or work? Send her a postcard but maybe leave it blank. She'll know it's from you based on the postcard or handwriting.

Creepy. He needs to leave her alone and be thankful he hasn't been caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This (both the affair and the lingering feelings) are not fair to your wife. Imagine if she did this to you? I think it's time to come clean with your wife and start couples therapy.

There's a good chance the marriage would end. If my spouse told me that I would end it right away. Not look back. I would wonder what I missed when I picked this flawed person. Hopefully it would be a learning lesson to not miss those red flags in the future. OP should lock it in the vault deciding if he should be married in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she ended it leave her alone. Please. If she wanted to talk to you she'd reach out. She ended it for a reason, it's been 3 years. Leave her alone.

+1. Dude, seriously. Leave it alone. You are going to get yourself caught, and her caught. Perhaps she got caught or had a near miss and thus the reason for a quick exit. If you really love her, let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for his wife who has been in a FAKE marriage all this time. I would want to know so I could divorce and find a real partner. This is why women need to spot check their partner. Wasting years with a creep is horrible, plus the risk to her health is disturbing. At least if she knew he was cheating she could stop having sex with him. Also, what does that say about the other woman?? She's a whore that he's willing to risk his marriage and lose his kids over. OP I'd get my shit together.

I missed the part where he paid the AP to have sex with him. In that case, just call her pimp and make an appointment for next Wednesday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for his wife who has been in a FAKE marriage all this time. I would want to know so I could divorce and find a real partner. This is why women need to spot check their partner. Wasting years with a creep is horrible, plus the risk to her health is disturbing. At least if she knew he was cheating she could stop having sex with him. Also, what does that say about the other woman?? She's a whore that he's willing to risk his marriage and lose his kids over. OP I'd get my shit together.

I missed the part where he paid the AP to have sex with him. In that case, just call her pimp and make an appointment for next Wednesday.

I guess some people have morals and values, while some don't. Someone that sleeps with married people, or married people that sleep around are considered whores by many. If you don't like that term...how about low lifes.

Overall he's wasting oxygen on trash. I would recommend OP get some therapy to raise the bar in his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she ended it leave her alone. Please. If she wanted to talk to you she'd reach out. She ended it for a reason, it's been 3 years. Leave her alone.

+1. Dude, seriously. Leave it alone. You are going to get yourself caught, and her caught. Perhaps she got caught or had a near miss and thus the reason for a quick exit. If you really love her, let her go.

Yes her husband could have been getting suspicious. And maybe he carries a Glock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Most times women know or suspect the guy is cheating. From OP's post just above I am betting she knows, but has to stay because of finances and kids. I've had a few friends in that position. It sucks to realize you married a horrible partner and are stuck. Sorry for his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

Sorry OP, but she's not a smart cookie. A well balanced smart woman does not sleep with a married man.
Face it, you didn't know her and have been wasting years fantasizing over what doesn't exist. If you paid bills
with her living day to day it would be another set of problems. Back to point A.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snark but curious: is it the sex that you miss? You must still sleep with your wife. What is lacking that you miss this woman so much?

Absolutely I miss the physical connection. But it's everything. We had taken very similar paths in life, but were from different backgrounds. I loved learning about her culture, and her large family. She was super smart, and had this razor sharp sense of humor. It was this crazy chemistry. I loved who she was, and how she made me feel, how it felt to have her in my life.

Sex with my wife is as infrequent and mechanical as ever, and it is what it is. I've had only one AP, because (shocking, I know) it's not just about the sex for me.

If she so amazing why aren't you with her? either she isn't as into you (which is likely) or you are a total flake who wants his cake (wife) and to eat it to. Let this go. you sounds pathetic.

Also, if the husband get's wind of it he may very well contact your wife. My sil was cheated on by her horrible husband. The other woman's husband called her. They are all divorced now. A very sad situation that impacted their kids, and grand-kids.