Is an engaged ex off limits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends-- how do you think you would feel if someone slept with your fiancé while you were in the process of planning a wedding?

There is your answer.

Omg, no one is advising the OP to SLEEP with the ex, just have a talk and make sure there's no regrets.

You're right that OP doesn't specify "off limits" for what. But I was certainly under the impression that she was asking if it was okay to sleep with him. Jusdging from the responses, I am not alone.

I'm another one who doesn't know why everyone is going straight to sex. Making a play for an engaged man is ethically wrong but still understandable, especially since he's her ex. Making a play is not the same as jumping straight into bed.

[Anonymous]

I believe that if you were meant to be with your ex, you would've made it work despite the distance. It's time to move on.

[Anonymous]

If he didn't actually make a move or reach out he's not interested and you're reading way too much into seeing him again. He's probably happily engaged and not even considering getting back together with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP started a thread on this last week but I don't recall that ex was engaged. You can be damn sure that OP led the look and whatever look the ex gave was not the same. Wishful thinking on the part of OP. Go home and let your ex move on with his/her new love.

Another vote for same op who does seem a bit obsessed for lack of a better term. If ex moved quickly to engagement with someone else than doesn't portend well for reconciliation.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure "that look" was just in your head. He's happy with his fiancée. Why would he risk that when you live so far away? There's no future for you two.

[Anonymous]

If the distance issue hasn't resolved, why would you want to go back?

Also, unless he breaks the engagement first & publicly, he just wants you as a side piece.

[Anonymous]

1/3 of all engagements end. 1/2 of all marriages end. Sometimes urgency can get true loves back together. It's hardly uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is fair game until the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Engaged means Taken. So you shouldn't do anything. Pretend you never ran into him again and go on with life.

Now, if he only got engaged because he'd been dating this woman awhile and felt like it was expected, but isn't really in love with her and realized when he saw you that you are "the one..." maybe he'll break it off and pursue you.

That said, if the distance is still an issue, what makes you think it would be different this time?

[Anonymous]

"The couple did not see each other for four years, until a 2008 party for Ms. Fox and her fiancé at the time. She and Mr. Ford exchanged a long, friendly hug. At that instant, Ms. Fox sensed there was still a connection between them, she remembered, but then quickly buried the thought."

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/weddings/sarah-fox-and-calvin-ford-weddings.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that if you were meant to be with your ex, you would've made it work despite the distance. It's time to move on.

Maybe the fact that they met again means they were meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe that if you were meant to be with your ex, you would've made it work despite the distance. It's time to move on.

Maybe the fact that they met again means they were meant to be.

And another way to look at it is: the person to whom the ex is engaged to deserves better than a fiancee who pines after an ex!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

If you just want to have sex with him, that's pretty wrong.

But if you want to get in touch and have a heart to heart where you tell him you have feelings and want to check and see if he does too before it's far too late, then I see no harm in that. He can say no, and then you know. Or he can say yes, and it's better to know now than not know (for his fiancee, and for him).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you just want to have sex with him, that's pretty wrong.

But if you want to get in touch and have a heart to heart where you tell him you have feelings and want to check and see if he does too before it's far too late, then I see no harm in that. He can say no, and then you know. Or he can say yes, and it's better to know now than not know (for his fiancee, and for him).

+1

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to be with a guy who doesn't take commitments seriously? You could be his next "fiancee"...such an honor.