I'm a female sex addict in recovery...ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you let even grody, stinky, and ugly men touch you?

NP here: I actually knew a woman who really got into that. It was a "thing" of her's. I think she loved doing it because she was SO DAMN HOT (Brazilian and gorgeous) and the contrast of these old gross men all over her allowed her to feel in control. She could choose these gross guys, while conventionally attractive men were rejected (sometimes). Bizarre.

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So how did your various partners respond to you besides the physical encounters. Were they hurt by being used. Did they understand you were damaged? Were they confused by where you were coming from and where you were headed? Did they ghost you?

All of them tried to have sex with me. Some
Turned into longer term "relationships" where we developed connections. Many probably suspected or knew I was damaged but the only ones who got close enough to be able to see that probably didn't give a damn. One guy felt used and told me so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know if your husband is the biological father of your children?

Did you have any abortions?

I had one abortion. When I disclosed my acting out to him, we did paternity testing on all three children at my husband's request.
Acti

Did the tests confirm that he was the father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest sister was a walking talking semen receptacle for any man wanting it. She too was married, now on her 6th, 4 kids, a Grandma. She claimed to be a sex addict because we had no father and was looking for a father figure.

LIE.

Now she's broke down with genital herpes. God got even.

Six marriages?

[Anonymous]

Op you have a tough journey ahead of you. I was going judge because I'm good at judging people for their actions. BUT you took full responsibility for your actions and didn't blame others or use excuses. This can be a learning opprtunity for some of the dcum posters who blame others for their problems ( relationships, job, marriage, children) rather than accept responbility. Good luck in your journey. People who recognize they have done wrong and genuinely want to change for better deserve a second chance in my book. I hope you find peace and happiness in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest sister was a walking talking semen receptacle for any man wanting it. She too was married, now on her 6th, 4 kids, a Grandma. She claimed to be a sex addict because we had no father and was looking for a father figure.

LIE.

Now she's broke down with genital herpes. God got even.

You sound angry. How did her sex life affect your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know if your husband is the biological father of your children?

Did you have any abortions?

I had one abortion. When I disclosed my acting out to him, we did paternity testing on all three children at my husband's request.
Acti

Did the tests confirm that he was the father?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you have a tough journey ahead of you. I was going judge because I'm good at judging people for their actions. BUT you took full responsibility for your actions and didn't blame others or use excuses. This can be a learning opprtunity for some of the dcum posters who blame others for their problems ( relationships, job, marriage, children) rather than accept responbility. Good luck in your journey. People who recognize they have done wrong and genuinely want to change for better deserve a second chance in my book. I hope you find peace and happiness in the end.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Do you look back fondly on any of the encounters when you were acting out? Are there any partners that you're happy to have been with?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who I suspect is a sex addict. She was abused as a child. She is divorced, and has had sex with more men in the past six months than I have in my entire life. She has put herself in potentially physically dangerous situations with complete strangers, leaves work to have sex with random men, sends nude photos of herself to men she barely knows. There is more, but some of it might identify her to people she knows.
I am very, very worried about her physical and emotional health. She gets very defensive whenever I try to broach the subject, or suggest she is out of control. OP, did any of your friends know about your acting out? Is there anything any of them could have said to get you to stop?

[Anonymous]

Did you ever get paid?

[Anonymous]

I wonder what kind of addiction or pathos makes you come into a post like this and say rude and ugly things to OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest sister was a walking talking semen receptacle for any man wanting it. She too was married, now on her 6th, 4 kids, a Grandma. She claimed to be a sex addict because we had no father and was looking for a father figure.

LIE.

Now she's broke down with genital herpes. God got even.

You sound angry. How did her sex life affect your life?

PP's God is angry and vengeful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure the behavior yout listed is indicative of sex addiction. Sounds like you're just an attention whore with low self-esteem.

Sex Addicts Anonymous disagrees and would say my insecurity and need for attention and validation were my character defects that facilitated my addiction. Step 5 and 6.

NP. Is sex addiction really just a term for people who act out sexually due to insecurity and need for attention/validation, as opposed to acting out by doing other things? Or is there something actually addictive about the act itself, in the same way that alcohol is physically addicting? In other words, if you satisfied your insecurity and need for attention/validation by simply flirting incessantly or being a cruel gossip (sorry if these are inapt, just trying to think of other ways these character traits might manifest), you wouldn't be a sex addict, but you would still have the same underlying issues. Or do you think you'd be a sex addict no matter what? And are there sex addicts who don't feature character defects that facilitate the addiction, but are addicted nevertheless? These aren't necessarily personal to you but I am curious. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

OP, I want to echo the PP who offered the encouragement. Sex addiction is tough. I'm a therapist and have worked with my share of sex addicts and people sexually acting out. Keep working your program and stay strong. I'm rooting for you!