I'm a female sex addict in recovery...ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your husband know about your sexual abuse while you were a child?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Were you ever in a situation where a guy wanted to have sex, and the opportunity was right but you said no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you ever in a situation where a guy wanted to have sex, and the opportunity was right but you said no?

Yes, about 8000000000000 times.

[Anonymous]

serious question, are there any of your past lovers with whom you had amazing sex? Do you remember any of them with fondness or miss them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:serious question, are there any of your past lovers with whom you had amazing sex? Do you remember any of them with fondness or miss them?

I mean, yes, some of the sex was great however when I think about those encounters today it makes me sick to my stomach. So I don't remember any of them fondly.

[Anonymous]

Do believe men specifically targeted you or were drawn to you? Do you think that you subconsciously gave signs to men that you were "available"? If so, what were those signs?

I have a few friends that have experienced some terrible stuff. And it keeps happening to them over and over again. It's almost as if abusive men (or just simply gross horndogs) can easily identify them and prey upon them.

[Anonymous]

are there any things (sex acts) you did with your APs (once or multiple times) that you would not do with your DH? is your DH a good lover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

How many abusers did you have?

Do you think you have "Daddy issues" which are a cause of your addiction?

Minus your addiction, would you characterize your relationship with your husband as healthy?

I had four abusers.

Yes I have major issues with my father.

Minus my addiction, I actually do think I have a healthy relationship with my husband.

You say you feel you feel full of shame and disgust with yourself when he asks you to have sex, but you feel you shouldn't say no. That's another way of acting out your sexual abuse dynamic, even though technically you both are trying to have a normal married relationship. Until you get more therapy for these current feelings, how do you consider you're in recovery? You're right, you've succeeded in stopping acting out in the other ways, but the dynamic with your husband is not yet healthy, and the result is another form of acting out for you.

[Anonymous]

Wee the men old or younger, race, any women? What was your criteria for a lover? Any threesomes or group sex?

[Anonymous]

Did you ever receive therapy for the abuse? It sounds like you are focused on curbing your harmful actions, but maybe did not address the cause for these actions.

Also, if your husband liked you messing around (e.g., you had an open relationship and it turned him on), would you still do it. In other words, are you attending sex addiction counseling because you wanted to stop or because you wanted to show your husband that you would stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever receive therapy for the abuse? It sounds like you are focused on curbing your harmful actions, but maybe did not address the cause for these actions.

Also, if your husband liked you messing around (e.g., you had an open relationship and it turned him on), would you still do it. In other words, are you attending sex addiction counseling because you wanted to stop or because you wanted to show your husband that you would stop?

Yes I want to therapy for several years. No, even if my husband liked me messing around I would not do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wee the men old or younger, race, any women? What was your criteria for a lover? Any threesomes or group sex?

No women. Many of the men were younger and seemed into the whole sexy liberated MILF thing. Most were white (like me) and one was African American. No threesomes or group sex. In fact, not much actual sex. A lot of my sexual acting out was "sexting" and emotional affairs. My criteria were that my acting out partner basically had to be someone I would potentially have a relationship with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

How many abusers did you have?

Do you think you have "Daddy issues" which are a cause of your addiction?

Minus your addiction, would you characterize your relationship with your husband as healthy?

I had four abusers.

Yes I have major issues with my father.

Minus my addiction, I actually do think I have a healthy relationship with my husband.

You say you feel you feel full of shame and disgust with yourself when he asks you to have sex, but you feel you shouldn't say no. That's another way of acting out your sexual abuse dynamic, even though technically you both are trying to have a normal married relationship. Until you get more therapy for these current feelings, how do you consider you're in recovery? You're right, you've succeeded in stopping acting out in the other ways, but the dynamic with your husband is not yet healthy, and the result is another form of acting out for you.

I don't disagree with you. The dynamic between me and my husband is quite unhealthy. It has improved
Since my lowest point and I am hoping it continues to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are there any things (sex acts) you did with your APs (once or multiple times) that you would not do with your DH? is your DH a good lover?

Nothing I wouldn't do with my husband but he may not do them
With me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do believe men specifically targeted you or were drawn to you? Do you think that you subconsciously gave signs to men that you were "available"? If so, what were those signs?

I have a few friends that have experienced some terrible stuff. And it keeps happening to them over and over again. It's almost as if abusive men (or just simply gross horndogs) can easily identify them and prey upon them.

I am an attractive women so I do get attention from men. And a few men who were looking to cheat definitely targeted me. For the most part, and especially By the time I realized I needed help, I was the instigator.