I'm a female sex addict in recovery...ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Actually I think if my husband cheated and it was way in the past and he was getting help, I might prefer not to know. Having both people miserable might not help.

[Anonymous]

How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op were you sexually abused in the past?

she already said yes. Why are so many so mean to her here? She's not blaming anyone. She's trying to get better. Doesn't sound like she particularly enjoyed it. Sounds like she was filling emptiness, which deserves empathy, not bitterness. She's got a major struggle ahead with her marriage. She's trying to do right by her husband. Are you this mean to all addicts?

Wishing you strength OP.

Well I'm sorry - I didn't read all 11 pages. When I asked if she was abused was I in any way saying or implying she enjoyed it, or her behavior after? That would be a NO.

Save your vitriol for those who deserve it, meat head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Describe your (former) sex addiction.

Cheated in every single relationship I've ever been in. Got pregnant four times and every single time
Was not sure of the father. Hated hated hated myself when I would get caught or took a break from acting out but then would
Repeat the cycle. Began to seek out partners with every man I encountered, regardless of whether they were married and had kids. Had multiple emotional affaisr at any given time. Felt like
I was living a double life. Neglected my marriage and kids and job.

Why don't you use birth control? Are you worried about STDs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you go to mixed SAA meetings or all-women meetings? If you go to mixed meetings, does it concern you to be with men with the same compulsion? Seems very potentially risky to me. I know several men who go to all-men SAA meetings to avoid triggers.

Also, are you in ongoing therapy? Your current relationship with your husband sounds really damaging, as if you're continuing the abused dynamic, since you say you feel you can't say no to having sex with him. How can you possibly heal if you two are entrenched this way?

I go to both. At mixed meetings, I do not talk to the men there. I leave right after the meeting and don't hang out. I do feel myself forming attachments and feelings for some of the men I see at the meetings regularly that I have to work to control.

You are right about my marriage being damaging. I think right now I am hoping with more time and more rebuilding it will get better.

Glad to hear that OP. You made mistakes in your past but you do not deserve to be treated horribly for the rest of your life because of it. Wishing you well. NP, btw.

[Risky007]

We all make mistakes....some addictions seem to really grab hold of people differently. Sex is no different. Talking is good....feel free to talk about it

[Anonymous]

Is this sharing part of your therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op were you sexually abused in the past?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Describe your (former) sex addiction.

Cheated in every single relationship I've ever been in. Got pregnant four times and every single time
Was not sure of the father. Hated hated hated myself when I would get caught or took a break from acting out but then would
Repeat the cycle. Began to seek out partners with every man I encountered, regardless of whether they were married and had kids. Had multiple emotional affaisr at any given time. Felt like
I was living a double life. Neglected my marriage and kids and job.

Why don't you use birth control? Are you worried about STDs?

I didn't use birth control because I was being reckless. I have been tested for STDS and am clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this sharing part of your therapy?

I think so. It helps me stay in touch with the pain and destruction I caused, which helps make sure I never repeat it. And maybe I am helping others struggling with an addiction by sharing my story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

How many abusers did you have?

Do you think you have "Daddy issues" which are a cause of your addiction?

Minus your addiction, would you characterize your relationship with your husband as healthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

How many abusers did you have?

Do you think you have "Daddy issues" which are a cause of your addiction?

Minus your addiction, would you characterize your relationship with your husband as healthy?

She said her father sexually abused her. I'm not sure this can be labeled "daddy issues." I'm prettt sure that's for much more minor situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you were sexually abused?

Did you have a father growing up?

I was 12 when it started.

Yes I had/have a father (he was one of my abusers).

How many abusers did you have?

Do you think you have "Daddy issues" which are a cause of your addiction?

Minus your addiction, would you characterize your relationship with your husband as healthy?

I had four abusers.

Yes I have major issues with my father.

Minus my addiction, I actually do think I have a healthy relationship with my husband.

[Anonymous]

Does your husband know about your sexual abuse while you were a child?