I'm a female sex addict in recovery...ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so all told, how many men have you slept with while you have been married to your husband? how many altogether over the course of your life?

have you done anything (in terms of sex acts) that you regret?

Sex partners while married- 7

Emotional affairs while married 12

Total sex partners in my life 25

i regret having sex with another man in our marital bed. I regret having sex with another man in our car. I regret not always using birth control with these men. I regret letting this one man finish on my chest. I regret having sexl in my office at work in the middle of the work day.

Obviously, you and the professionals you work with have sorted this out. But most of this stuff sounds like bad decision making around sex, not necessarily an addiction. Doesn't sound like you had sex rampantly and uncontrollably. Are most cheaters sex addicts then? Maybe it's less what you do and more how you feel about what you do? People talk about the addictive nature of affairs and how hard it can be to stop. It doesn't sound like sex addiction in those cases. But maybe anyone struggling to end an affair would qualify as you have described it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so all told, how many men have you slept with while you have been married to your husband? how many altogether over the course of your life?

have you done anything (in terms of sex acts) that you regret?

Sex partners while married- 7

Emotional affairs while married 12

Total sex partners in my life 25

i regret having sex with another man in our marital bed. I regret having sex with another man in our car. I regret not always using birth control with these men. I regret letting this one man finish on my chest. I regret having sexl in my office at work in the middle of the work day.

Obviously, you and the professionals you work with have sorted this out. But most of this stuff sounds like bad decision making around sex, not necessarily an addiction. Doesn't sound like you had sex rampantly and uncontrollably. Are most cheaters sex addicts then? Maybe it's less what you do and more how you feel about what you do? People talk about the addictive nature of affairs and how hard it can be to stop. It doesn't sound like sex addiction in those cases. But maybe anyone struggling to end an affair would qualify as you have described it.

Seriously, you consider 9 sex partners and 12 emotional affairs just a bit of "bad decision making"? She's obviously struggled, and knowing sex addicts as I do, I bet she had countless impulses and fought back her compulsions far more than she gave in to them. It takes over your life and makes you miserable. I hope she's continuing therapy to work towards a healthy relationship with her husband, if it's possible. When you stop one kind of acting out, unless you fill that void with healing therapy and healthy, positive behaviors, you'll just act out in other ways.