Fiancé's ex girlfriend wants to take a bike trip with him

[Anonymous]

He's still fucking her or plans to. Also, she doesn't know you're engaged. My suspicion is he has her thinking of you as someone he knocked up by mistake but is miserable with otherwise.

Either way, something is seriously wrong that he felt comfortable asking you this. This is not a request you entertain when you respect the person you're with.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on your comfort and their relationship. My husband and I both have exes we are still friends with. This wouldn't bother me. However, it doesn't sound like your spouse and his ex otherwise have this sort of relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He has assured me baby is not his.

The very fact that he needed to assure you of that means something is off. I hate that you are in this situation with a 2 month old, but you need to wake up.

Yeah THAT is weird, and I'm the PP who said I wouldn't mind the bike trip. It shouldn't even be a question! (Unless OP is just batshit clingy/crazy.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex's baby is totally his. For one thing, do you know how expensive it is to get donor sperm from a spermbank? Then, you need to go to a fertility clinic and have a doctor perform IUIs. Also very expensive. Also usually requires several attempts. This is not something a person just randomly does.

Ok, let's settle down. It's not that expensive. Single women do it all the time.

This. MANY people do it at home.

That said, the rest of this is weird. I agree with PP that OP probably got knocked up as soon as they met. Maybe right after he and his ex "broke up." We need a better timeline here, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The subject line of your post shouldn't be "fiancé's ex wants to take a bike trip with him," it should be "my baby daddy wants to leave me and his two month old to go on a bike trip with his ex." if he had just said no like a sane person there would be no problem here.

Good point. I'm not sure why he wants to go with her. She lives in another state and I don't understand why she can't bike with someone else.

How are they going to do multiple day trips from different states?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to ask why she feels so comfortable asking him when she knows his current situation. And why is he asking you for permission when he knows the answer. I can't believe some of the posts recently about exs and the current wife/gf. Who are these men?

Well, you're assuming she knows his current situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you with your bf when the ex's baby is conceived? No

Were you engaged before you got pregnant? No

Have you set a date? No.

When did he and the ex break up? Over a year ago

Why did she have a baby with a sperm donor? She asked my fiancé to have a baby with him. He said no. She wanted s baby

Have you socialized with her as a couple? Is she kind to you? Does she support your relationship? I've never met her

Is it normal for your bf to take long bike trips? Yes. He is an athlete and competes in bike and running races

It is absolutely nutso that a new mom with a 6 month old baby would leave the baby to take a multi-day bike trip with the father of a new 2 month old who is engaged to someone else. It's, like, so far beyond what any two people would ever do; it's absurd. Who wants a baby so desperately that they use a sperm donor and then leave their infant to go off with the father of someone else's infant? And how does the father not say, "That's crazy, Brittany! I have to take care of my baby. He/she's only 2 months old; I don't want to be away from him/her."

[Anonymous]

Op here. I did get pregnant rather quickly after we met. The pregnancy was not planned. We are both divorced and are older -in our 40s and have kids of our own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I did get pregnant rather quickly after we met. The pregnancy was not planned. We are both divorced and are older -in our 40s and have kids of our own.

So he knocked you guys up 4 months apart? At 40+? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex's baby is totally his. For one thing, do you know how expensive it is to get donor sperm from a spermbank? Then, you need to go to a fertility clinic and have a doctor perform IUIs. Also very expensive. Also usually requires several attempts. This is not something a person just randomly does.

Ok, let's settle down. It's not that expensive. Single women do it all the time.

Exactly. IUI is only about $1000. It's IVF that's expensive, at about $10,000 per try.

[Anonymous]

How exactly is that supposed to work? Day trips in a different state? That sounds like pure bullshit to me. He's definitely planning on hooking up with her, but is concocting some sort of half truth that seems (in his mind) reasonable. Tell him you don't want him to do it, and let's see what happens. Bet he has a business trip soon. Won't be to that state, but it's not like you're going to look at his actual ticket right?

Oh, but you should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

x1000 !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He has assured me baby is not his.

I'm sure he has. Don't be an idiot. She is leaving her baby to go after your fiance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I did get pregnant rather quickly after we met. The pregnancy was not planned. We are both divorced and are older -in our 40s and have kids of our own.

OP have you watched "The Affair" on SHO? Get right on that.

[Anonymous]

OP....how often does he communicate with her (that you know of)? What is his relationship with the mother of his children (that he claims)?