Fiancé's ex girlfriend wants to take a bike trip with him

[Anonymous]

She needs new biking friends. And ex boyfriend with a 2 month old at home is not appropriate to ask.

If I were you, I would point out how odd it is that she has no one else to ask, query about why she doesn't have any other friends, and generally make it clear I thought it was really pathetic for a woman with a sperm donor baby to be trying to do a trip with a married ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs new biking friends. And ex boyfriend with a 2 month old at home is not appropriate to ask.

If I were you, I would point out how odd it is that she has no one else to ask, query about why she doesn't have any other friends, and generally make it clear I thought it was really pathetic for a woman with a sperm donor baby to be trying to do a trip with a married ex.

This couple isn't married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

the appropriate response!

[Anonymous]

Agree that OP's man is the ex's "sperm donor" and this is a pretense to make OP the single mom.

[Anonymous]

Just the fact you are only two months post-partum is enough for him to say no. What kind of dating relationship did they have? Was this "dated for two weeks in college and decided they were better off as friends", or "dated for two years, thought they'd get married until she slept with his best friend and broke his heart"? Not that it matters much, as I'd still say no, but it could impact how inappropriate her even asking is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs new biking friends. And ex boyfriend with a 2 month old at home is not appropriate to ask.

If I were you, I would point out how odd it is that she has no one else to ask, query about why she doesn't have any other friends, and generally make it clear I thought it was really pathetic for a woman with a sperm donor baby to be trying to do a trip with a married ex.

This couple isn't married.

They are engaged with a 2 month old. I don't think that negates the point of the post

[Anonymous]

Op here. He has assured me baby is not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the sperm donor to the 6 month old is not your fiance?

+1. I think the baby may be his as well.

Also, why is he even testing you by asking if he can go with her? He should have said no.
No overnights, really? How are they riding bikes during the day but not spending the night?

I would tell him he can go with his bags packed.

+2 on the possibility the baby is his.

My answer would be not comfortable with you going with your ex bf.

[Anonymous]

The subject line of your post shouldn't be "fiancé's ex wants to take a bike trip with him," it should be "my baby daddy wants to leave me and his two month old to go on a bike trip with his ex." if he had just said no like a sane person there would be no problem here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The subject line of your post shouldn't be "fiancé's ex wants to take a bike trip with him," it should be "my baby daddy wants to leave me and his two month old to go on a bike trip with his ex." if he had just said no like a sane person there would be no problem here.

Good point. I'm not sure why he wants to go with her. She lives in another state and I don't understand why she can't bike with someone else.

[Anonymous]

No. Not appropriate. On what planet does mom watch the baby so dad can go on a vacation.... with a woman... who he used to bang?

Um, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would irk me. First, she should be asking someone else. Second, he should have just said no without putting it on your plate.
Are they still friends otherwise? Have you hung out the three of you?

This. He's a jerk for putting it on you. He should KNOW that it's inappropriate, and he should have told her no when she asked. The "I won't do it if it bothers you" is a cowardly way to deal with it. It makes it like you seem insecure if you say no, and it gives him the ability to blame you when he tells the ex "no" instead of just saying he doesn't want to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He has assured me baby is not his.

I'm sure he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He has assured me baby is not his.

Were you engaged before you pregnant? If you were engaged before you got pregnant and the pregnancy was planned, I'd be more inclined to believe him.

If the pregnancy was an oops pregnancy and the proposal became after he knew you were pregnant, I'd be concerned about his level of commitment to you. I'd also question (a) if he's being truthful that the baby is not his, and (b) if he even *knows* for certain the baby is not his (as in, when was the last time he slept with this women).

I say all of this because it sounds like he didn't rule out going on this trip. He wants to go. It's weird that his ex asked him on this trip (partly because he's engaged and has a baby at home, but also because it sounds like she has a baby at home!).

What my suspicion is, is that she wants him back, and she knows that her window will close as soon as he actually marries you.

[Anonymous]

I am not the jealous type but there is no freakin' way I would be o.k. with this. This woman sounds like a complete and total idiot with no sense of boundaries. Avoid.