Unsure About Accepting Date With Guy In Wheelchair

[Anonymous]

OP, go on the date. You never know until you try, maybe you'll like him, maybe not. And quite frankly, you never know when someone can end up in a wheelchair or disabled in some other capacity. People get MS, have car accidents, etc.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen the Citi® Double Cash commercial where the couple is on a first date and the narrator says, "Wouldn’t it be great if everyone said what they meant?"
Why not try that approach and just tell the guy you're apprehensive and go from there.

[Anonymous]

My cousin is in a wheel chair and was on their first date. They are now married twenty years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would also warn anyone that anger issues (theirs) are something to watch carefully for with the disabled.

Ok, seriously, just stop. I have multiple sclerosis and am disabled as a result, and I find your posts really inappropriate and offensive. Between that, and your prior assertion

I am the child of a handicapped (oh, forgot, the new word is disabled) person

you have some serious issues, which is your problem, but you coming on here and spewing them out is making it mine, and I don't appreciate it at all.

OP - this is what I am warning you to look out for: you cannot every say anything negative regarding disability...it is verboten. We are on an anonymous forum, so I can say this here, but would never be able to say it otherwise.

Many disabled people are wonderful and very nice - like I said, go on the date and see. However, if you have zero experience with disability, you should keep your eyes wide open.

No, people are telling you that if you're a resentful asshole, you should get treatment. No one said dealing with a disability is necessarily easy. However, from your first sentence you were an angry, prejudiced jerk about people who are disabled. Go away.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure it's purely coincidence that this was the story line on an episode of "Mom" earlier this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it's purely coincidence that this was the story line on an episode of "Mom" earlier this week.

It probably is. There are lots of disabled people and this is typical of dating someone disabled online.

[Anonymous]

He told you before the date. It's not like you showed up and he yelled "surprise!!!"'

[Anonymous]

I hope OP comes back at some point to update how the date went. Wonder if she even read these responses.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Going to meet him at 8.

Been at work all day so haven't had much time to check in.

My apprehension about the date extends from my lack of experience around people in wheelchairs. Then I felt badly about feeling apprehensive.

I'm not going to ask him what he is capable of sexually. I figure if we end up being attracted to each other it will work itself out.

Now just hoping for a nice time which is what I always hope for on date nights.

I'll post an update tonight or tomorrow depending on how things go.

[Anonymous]

I'd go not to be an asshole, but sorry I wouldn't start out dating someone disabled. I love to travel, hike and swim. Deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Truthfully I think this is something important enough to disclose upfront in an online dating profile. Not after you start communicating or plan a date.

Agree with pp that this would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'm a very active person, and would need a partner to share some of those loves. I get that he may be a bit insecure, but I think it's dishonest to not state up front if he is permanently in a wheelchair.

Friend? Not a question. But to go on a date with, with some long term intent/relationship in mind? Dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truthfully I think this is something important enough to disclose upfront in an online dating profile. Not after you start communicating or plan a date.

Agree with pp that this would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'm a very active person, and would need a partner to share some of those loves. I get that he may be a bit insecure, but I think it's dishonest to not state up front if he is permanently in a wheelchair.

Friend? Not a question. But to go on a date with, with some long term intent/relationship in mind? Dealbreaker.

I think you obviously don't have a lot of experience with people who are disabled and the discrimination they face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd go not to be an asshole, but sorry I wouldn't start out dating someone disabled. I love to travel, hike and swim. Deal breaker.

Surely your love of all thing outdoors would be in your dating profile, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truthfully I think this is something important enough to disclose upfront in an online dating profile. Not after you start communicating or plan a date.

Agree with pp that this would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'm a very active person, and would need a partner to share some of those loves. I get that he may be a bit insecure, but I think it's dishonest to not state up front if he is permanently in a wheelchair.

Friend? Not a question. But to go on a date with, with some long term intent/relationship in mind? Dealbreaker.

Why is it dishonest? It isn't like he said he wasn't in a wheelchair.

[Anonymous]

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/07/31/fashion/weddings/obstacles-are-for-conquering.html?_r=0

This link is to a lovely story about a couple who saw past the obstacles and found a future together. Not for the faint of heart, but for the right couple a great source of strength.