My husband isn't doing his to-do list

[Anonymous]

DH is not a list kind of guy. On a Saturday morning, I say "I need you to fertilizer the yard today". He agrees and does it. This is totally not how I operate. I prefer a list earlier in the week and schedule my time accordingly. It took me a long time to understand his manly ways

This is the most helpful post though I would replace, "need you to .." with "could you". My spouse and I ask this of each other when something is starting to bug us. But that might be only a time or two a week. Asking is a rarity which means each of us knows it's pretty important. If we had lists for each other, I'd consider that a very bad marriage.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say I hate the way OP titled this thread "My husband isn't doing his to-do list". It is sounds so demeaning.

[Anonymous]

Taking a leap here but thinking it isn't a big one.

The list thing was your idea. Your husband did his because he is passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Isn't he getting sick of this? My husband would get tired of grilled and microwaved food pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Who fixes their own oven? Call a professional. You sound cheap.

I agree with this, and I like to cut corners as well, but certain things is worth paying a professional for.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your husband face-to-face. Say "Hey John, Bob saw the to-do list and offered to come over next week while you're out of town and knock a couple of things off the list. Should I accept or have you made plans to work on the list some other time?" Then let him say his piece. If you can't trust him to answer you honestly and sincerely, then you two have bigger communication issues than just a to-do list.

My wife and I talk regularly about the things that need to get done and who has time to do what. It's not unusual for one of us to take something off the other's to-do list if that's the best use of our time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Who fixes their own oven? Call a professional. You sound cheap.

I agree with this, and I like to cut corners as well, but certain things is worth paying a professional for.

+1. Does the average person know how to fix an oven?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Who fixes their own oven? Call a professional. You sound cheap.

I agree with this, and I like to cut corners as well, but certain things is worth paying a professional for.

+1. Does the average person know how to fix an oven?

My husband fixed ours. And the ice maker, dishwasher and other stuff. Amazing what you can find on YouTube.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Who fixes their own oven? Call a professional. You sound cheap.

I agree with this, and I like to cut corners as well, but certain things is worth paying a professional for.

If it's an electric oven the majority of the time it is simply replacing the element. The most difficult aspect of fixing that is identifying and locating the part. If gas it's usually the pilot/igniter or whatever they call it. Still not a big deal as to repair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, same situation here.
DH has untreated ADHD, and is forever procrastinating and late, especially for tasks he's not enthused about.
My goal is to get him treated for his ADHD.

News flash, dear: procrastinating on tasks he's not enthused about has nothing to do with ADHD.

This thread is just another reason to never get married.

Agree with this. When the bitching to blowjob ratio gets too high, motivation goes out the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just hire someone.

You're busy, hence you split the property and household tasks.

You're not moneybags or like wasting money. Tell him to call three handyman for every task and go with the best price or value. Then he hires, schedules and is home to let in the handyman.

[Anonymous]

Come over to my house where our main floor bathroom got clogged and leaked!
DH's response to not even knowing where it was leaking from is to get a replacement toilet. Shall see how many weeks that takes. I hope the nanny doesn't quit in the meantime, with no main floor toilet for her and the kids all day.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We made the list together. Living without a working oven for months is pretty annoying, for all of us. We don't normally do the list thing. You are right about the Labor Day deadline. I will wait with my mouth shut until then.

Who fixes their own oven? Call a professional. You sound cheap.

I agree with this, and I like to cut corners as well, but certain things is worth paying a professional for.

If it's an electric oven the majority of the time it is simply replacing the element. The most difficult aspect of fixing that is identifying and locating the part. If gas it's usually the pilot/igniter or whatever they call it. Still not a big deal as to repair.

Eh, if you aren't a pro do you really want to be messing with the high voltage/high current/gas appliance you crank up to 500 degrees?

[Anonymous]

1) pretty clear OP is jonesing for her BIL, and his WAY overreaching 'favor' is clearly the setup for a bad porn video affair. DH is out of town, can you come over and screw... In some light bulbs? Was your sister involved in that conversation...

2) so, do you both work, same commute and same hours on job? if you are starting out on same leisure time, maybe you have some grievance.

3) let me understand: you made the lists, assigned small hands on repairs like 'fixing the oven' (not sure how small that is since likely involves moving the oven, disconnecting power/gas, disassembly and probably heading to Home Depot for the part?). And you assigned your self major renovation, which is picking involves hiring a contractor to do the work and maybe picking out some colors? Is that accurate, or are you a master carpenter and I am misreading your OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) pretty clear OP is jonesing for her BIL, and his WAY overreaching 'favor' is clearly the setup for a bad porn video affair. DH is out of town, can you come over and screw... In some light bulbs? Was your sister involved in that conversation...

2) so, do you both work, same commute and same hours on job? if you are starting out on same leisure time, maybe you have some grievance.

3) let me understand: you made the lists, assigned small hands on repairs like 'fixing the oven' (not sure how small that is since likely involves moving the oven, disconnecting power/gas, disassembly and probably heading to Home Depot for the part?). And you assigned your self major renovation, which is picking involves hiring a contractor to do the work and maybe picking out some colors? Is that accurate, or are you a master carpenter and I am misreading your OP?

Ho-ho misread. Major reorganization. Even better, crack open a Konmari book and make some tea!