My husband isn't doing his to-do list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your husband your BIL is coming over the weekend he is out of town to help out with the to-do list. See what your husband says. Maybe that will be the kick in the pants he needs to do it. If not, your BIL will do it. I wouldn't treat your DH like he is five like a PP said. He's an adult and should act like one. Either do the list or find someone else to do it (e.g., handyman, BIL).

Tell him BIL is going to do some tasks. See what he says.

We have a new rule in my house that if tasks are left undone for six months, I hire a handyman to do it. Sick of waiting forever and sitting in a house with a bunch of annoying, broken things.

In r future, this is the best way to go. Right now - just float the idea. Say that BIL saw the list and said he would help. He will either do the stuff, let BIL do it, or do nothing. If he does nothing, that means you hire a Handyman the day after Labor Day.

[Anonymous]

Why set Labor day as a deadline if you wanted it done before then?

[Anonymous]

My DH is like this as well. It's incredibly irritating. You did make a mistake giving him the whole summer. He has probably deluded himself about how much time it will take and is now embarrassed.

I find a much better strategy is to pick one thing every weekend. He agrees to do it, and I ask him specifically what time slot he will do it in. Often that results in him admitting he doesn't have a time slot. But if it does, then there's some accountability. If the time slot comes and goes, then I'm like, you had one job!

I also advise you to get real about who in your house actually cares about these tasks. It may be that your DH is conflict-avoidant and agrees to the list because it's what you want to hear, but he actually does not care or even disagrees with the list, so he passively tries to avoid it. Sit down with the list yourself and ask yourself if it is truly important to HIM not just you.

[Anonymous]

Cut him off. No ass until he does his chores.

[Anonymous]

Just hire a handyman.

[Anonymous]

1. I feel like your BIL really crossed a boundary by offering to do it.

2. You may not want like it but the dead line is Labor Day. Fantastic for you that you have been a busy bee happily checking things off your list. DH hasn't failed to live up to the agreement yet. Wait. 3 weeks is plenty of time .

3. In the future don't make agreements you don't really want. And don't expect your husband to behave exactly how you would.

[Anonymous]

give him adderall and point him to a project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why set Labor day as a deadline if you wanted it done before then?

OP wants to feel superior to her husband. She wants the hive validation that he is a pathetic excuse for a man.

I'm also willing to bet she secretly harbors a bit of jealousy towards her sister regarding her choice in husband, and regularly compares the two men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut him off. No ass until he does his chores.

lo

Bitchy wife wasn't fucking him anyway and wonders why he doesn't give a shit about what she wants.

[Anonymous]

This is my dh. There is one exception. When he finally does something on the list he makes? He will only complete it 85% of the way.

Ladies,
If a man says he's going to do something, he'll do it. No need to remind him about it every six months.
Author- unknown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you married to my DH too? My experience: he will feel emasculated about some things, and if it is a small routine item (not a once every 10 year task), let's say taking out the garbage, it forever becomes my responsibility. I thought I was being helpful, being a team player. Shame on me. We've gone down the written to do list with mutual agreement too many times. Let's just say, one side has many leftover items from previous lists.

This can be a side effect when you both tell him what to do and how to do it. You can do one, but not both. This is a common mistake made by women, especially Type As who feel the need to be in control of everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, same situation here.
DH has untreated ADHD, and is forever procrastinating and late, especially for tasks he's not enthused about.
My goal is to get him treated for his ADHD.

News flash, dear: procrastinating on tasks he's not enthused about has nothing to do with ADHD.

This thread is just another reason to never get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:give him adderall and point him to a project.

Love Adderall! Haven't taken it in years but it would sure be fun to take and do chores around the house.

[Anonymous]

If I was married to this BOW, I would just kill myself.

[Anonymous]

Tell me about it.
My husband does precisely nothing around the house unless we are having guests over for a social function. He does mow the lawn and do a little yard work, but that's it. He has a garage filled with expensive tools but I've learned to change furnace filters, fix leaky faucets, rewire lamps, replace commode works...in addition to all meal prep, dishwashing, bill paying, etc.
I feel like I have a tenant, not a husband.