Husband just walked out the door with the kids...

[Anonymous]

Oh please, no one is saying that the time was detrimental in and of itself. She said the youngest kid was tired and getting ready to go to bed. Obviously it was not in the kid's best interests to randomly put all 4 of them in the car for no reason in the middle of a disagreement between the parents. You just want to be argumentative.

No, I think OP is over dramatic and you just want to castigate her spouse. Was it childish? Sure. Is it that big a deal in the scheme of things if it isn't always happening? No. And yes, several PPs did say it was damaging to the child to take him out at "bedtime" and even that her spouse was likely to yell at him for being tired, which she did not say at any point in time.

Ok, whatever. You want to argue, I'm not interested. OP, I hope that you were able to work out this issue with your husband and that things are back to normal. As someone whose parents argued a lot in the manner you are describing, it can be stressful on the kids. Hopefully you can work out a better solution for childcare that will enable you to get your work done without being stretched so thin.

[Anonymous]

Of the two of you, you are, by far, the biggest a..hole. So self-important.

[Anonymous]

How'd it turn out, op? Did your husband return triumphant and proud for doing what you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh please, no one is saying that the time was detrimental in and of itself. She said the youngest kid was tired and getting ready to go to bed. Obviously it was not in the kid's best interests to randomly put all 4 of them in the car for no reason in the middle of a disagreement between the parents. You just want to be argumentative.

No, I think OP is over dramatic and you just want to castigate her spouse. Was it childish? Sure. Is it that big a deal in the scheme of things if it isn't always happening? No. And yes, several PPs did say it was damaging to the child to take him out at "bedtime" and even that her spouse was likely to yell at him for being tired, which she did not say at any point in time.

Ok, whatever. You want to argue, I'm not interested. OP, I hope that you were able to work out this issue with your husband and that things are back to normal. As someone whose parents argued a lot in the manner you are describing, it can be stressful on the kids. Hopefully you can work out a better solution for childcare that will enable you to get your work done without being stretched so thin.

No one is arguing, except you. If you think someone having a different opinion from you is arguing, you live in a bubble and shouldn't participate in conversations in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you needed to let go of the need to control for this evening, OP. It would have been a good time to relax and do something you enjoy, while you have solitude, then go run your errands if you want to. He can get the kids to bed when they get back. It's summer, a weekend, and not the end of the world if the kids stay up past bedtime.

Consider this, instead of being riled up and fighting more when he gets back, tell him you enjoyed the break, and it's great when he pitches in with the kids. And let him get the kids to bed. Sometimes we really do need to pull back and let go. Start fresh again and again. I totally understand the mom rut. It's how we get so much done.

And since you're handling most of their care and feel overextended, get some help in, or put them in a recreational activity here and there so they don't have to be dragged around when you are working or runnning errands. It's even less fun for them than it is for you.

It sounds as if you and your husband are locked in a battle where you prove yourself the biggest martyr and he's oblivious. That's a tough one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

You're projecting, dear.

? Projecting what? My DH has never done or said anything like this. I think you are the one projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

You're projecting, dear.

? Projecting what? My DH has never done or said anything like this. I think you are the one projecting.

Okay, then you're just clueless. Nowhere did she say her spouse was going to get mad at the kid. You're making up scenarios that haven't happened because a kid is out of the house at 7:30 during the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you needed to let go of the need to control for this evening, OP. It would have been a good time to relax and do something you enjoy, while you have solitude, then go run your errands if you want to. He can get the kids to bed when they get back. It's summer, a weekend, and not the end of the world if the kids stay up past bedtime.

Consider this, instead of being riled up and fighting more when he gets back, tell him you enjoyed the break, and it's great when he pitches in with the kids. And let him get the kids to bed. Sometimes we really do need to pull back and let go. Start fresh again and again. I totally understand the mom rut. It's how we get so much done.

And since you're handling most of their care and feel overextended, get some help in, or put them in a recreational activity here and there so they don't have to be dragged around when you are working or runnning errands. It's even less fun for them than it is for you.

It sounds as if you and your husband are locked in a battle where you prove yourself the biggest martyr and he's oblivious. That's a tough one.

That sounds about right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

You're projecting, dear.

? Projecting what? My DH has never done or said anything like this. I think you are the one projecting.

Okay, then you're just clueless. Nowhere did she say her spouse was going to get mad at the kid. You're making up scenarios that haven't happened because a kid is out of the house at 7:30 during the summer.

Did I say he did get mad? No, I said "will he get mad". It was a rhetorical question. Reading comprehension fail.

OP said the 5 yr old was in PJs, ready for bed, and looked tired. Doesn't matter if it was 7:30pm in summer. A child's sleep needs doesn't change magically in the summer. My 7 yr old still goes to bed around 8, even in the summer, because DC needs the sleep, as do all kids.

[Anonymous]

Wtf. You got what you wanted (for him to watch the kids), and you still complain?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

You're projecting, dear.

? Projecting what? My DH has never done or said anything like this. I think you are the one projecting.

Okay, then you're just clueless. Nowhere did she say her spouse was going to get mad at the kid. You're making up scenarios that haven't happened because a kid is out of the house at 7:30 during the summer.

Did I say he did get mad? No, I said "will he get mad". It was a rhetorical question. Reading comprehension fail.

OP said the 5 yr old was in PJs, ready for bed, and looked tired. Doesn't matter if it was 7:30pm in summer. A child's sleep needs doesn't change magically in the summer. My 7 yr old still goes to bed around 8, even in the summer, because DC needs the sleep, as do all kids.

"poor kid" implied you think he would, and again, there's no reason to even suggest it except to project.

But whatever. My kid goes to bed early too but I'm not going to throw a hissy fit if he's up at 7:30. Have a drink and chill out. You AND OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

You're projecting, dear.

? Projecting what? My DH has never done or said anything like this. I think you are the one projecting.

Okay, then you're just clueless. Nowhere did she say her spouse was going to get mad at the kid. You're making up scenarios that haven't happened because a kid is out of the house at 7:30 during the summer.

Did I say he did get mad? No, I said "will he get mad". It was a rhetorical question. Reading comprehension fail.

OP said the 5 yr old was in PJs, ready for bed, and looked tired. Doesn't matter if it was 7:30pm in summer. A child's sleep needs doesn't change magically in the summer. My 7 yr old still goes to bed around 8, even in the summer, because DC needs the sleep, as do all kids.

"poor kid" implied you think he would, and again, there's no reason to even suggest it except to project.

But whatever. My kid goes to bed early too but I'm not going to throw a hissy fit if he's up at 7:30. Have a drink and chill out. You AND OP.

Sometimes, on the weekends, we stay out well past kids' bedtime. But, I wouldn't drag my 5 yr old out when he's tired just to prove a point to my spouse. Yes, "poor kid" because his dad was being a douche for dragging his tired 5 yr old into a bad situation just to prove a point.

I haven't taken sides in the argument in terms of whether OP or her DH was in the right. My thought was for the 5 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Fair enough. What I want to know is whether the husband actually did the grocery shopping, or what. Where is Op?

[Anonymous]

OP, can we get an update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, but if he had a long day and is suddenly saddled with solo bedtime, I can see why he would be annoyed.

So, he's taking his anger out on the kids by taking them out when it's their bed time, especially the 5 yr old, just to prove a point? And then, if the 5 yr old is cranky while out, will he get mad at the 5 yr old? Poor kid.

+1

+100

Using children like pawns in a tiff with your wife is really immature.

I'm the first PP. I agree with you both 100%. Total douche asshole move to punish her by doing something detrimental to the kids. (Plus he stupidly proves her point that he can't handle parenting like she does.)

He should have offered to do your shopping in the morning for you before he went to work. Without the kids.

You need a babysitter though