Working Moms: Do you HAVE to or WANT to?

[Anonymous]

I'm one of those people who need to fill my time with activities and be on the go, so I do like working. I like my job, it pays well and have awesome benies. I don't have a set schedule and can work from home when I want, but honestly, I like being in the office. I didn't have to go back to work after my son was born, but after 4 months of maternity leave, I was climbing the walls! I had had enough and knew it wasn't in my DNA to spend all day at home. I'm a much more patient mom when I with my son and enjoy our time together, but I also enjoy my time away. My husband was laid off a year ago, so I am thankful I had my job! I can't imagine what life would have been like had I made a different decision.

I'm envious of women who enjoy being home all day. I don't know that feeling and have never experienced it. As I leave my neighborhood in the morning, I see a group of moms who are seeing their children off to school and have no desire to be included. I don't have guilt working, my guilt comes from enjoying my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been a SAHM for 2 years then a part time WFM mom for 1.5 years and now a WM.. SAHM just happened- got laid off pregnant with #1- I have an MBA- fast trackish- so this confused me but then who would hire a preggo woman? It evolved into 2 kids and my not event glancing at working since I was trying so hard to have kids (TTC issues). So once DC1 occured- I joining the SAHM crowd though even then I met everyone I felt out of place in a way- I just didn't meet anyone who really had any type of career in a LEADERSHIP position.. An old employer offered a WFM very p/t position- I was doing this for over a year after DC2. It's been great- but DH lost his job- severance dried up-I was the one who got the great f/t job- so, he's at home while I work.

that sucks that the SAHM crowd you hung out with were so uninspiring! There are lots of cool, smart, curious SAHMs in DC and we are dying to meet other cool moms whose lives don't revolve around which sippy cup to get and when lily pulitzer is on sale in bethesda!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a SAHM for 2 years then a part time WFM mom for 1.5 years and now a WM.. SAHM just happened- got laid off pregnant with #1- I have an MBA- fast trackish- so this confused me but then who would hire a preggo woman? It evolved into 2 kids and my not event glancing at working since I was trying so hard to have kids (TTC issues). So once DC1 occured- I joining the SAHM crowd though even then I met everyone I felt out of place in a way- I just didn't meet anyone who really had any type of career in a LEADERSHIP position.. An old employer offered a WFM very p/t position- I was doing this for over a year after DC2. It's been great- but DH lost his job- severance dried up-I was the one who got the great f/t job- so, he's at home while I work.

that sucks that the SAHM crowd you hung out with were so uninspiring! There are lots of cool, smart, curious SAHMs in DC and we are dying to meet other cool moms whose lives don't revolve around which sippy cup to get and when lily pulitzer is on sale in bethesda!!!

Not the PP and don't want to speak for her, but when I read her post I didn't get that she was uninspired by the SAHMs, just that she had no desire to be a SAHM herself. I didn't get the sense that she was looking down on them at all, just that she was going to work, and fine/happy with that.

For once a thread about WMs has not turned into a horrid debate ripping people apart so I wanted to jump in and clarify with my interpretation!

I feel the same way - love my job, love my hours and flexibility and the flexibility and shorter hours that DH has because I work, no desire to be SAHM (though would love a few more days off a year!) but absolutely see the value of SAH for those that want to and can. I was raised by a SAHM - and she was/is great - and she is so proud of my job, and would be proud if I SAH too. I hope my daughter gets to do what she wants and I hope she knows I'll be proud of her either way.

[Anonymous]

It never crossed our minds to think of DH's job as a requirement and mine as extra, so your question doesn't really match our life and our choices.

We both work sensible hours and lead a modest life. We have sufficient income after expenses to take a nice trip every year, and we know we have the resources to do whatever we need to do to raise our son (tutors, therapists, whatever the future brings...) Sure we could live on one salary, but not with the same level of freedom from worry.

So, you tell me - do I have to, or want to? In the end, once you have a home and some meals, it is ALL about what you want and about choices.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM, and I WANT to work. But I've been home for a decade, and my field is drying up -- layoffs abound. I have a child with special needs, so that takes up a lot of my time. I don't know if I could work unless I found a part-time job, and those are impossible to find if you haven't worked for the same employer previously.

I find staying at home excruciatingly boring at times, and exhausting and stressful, but I can't seem to let others care for my kids. I want to be there with them and for them, and I don't trust anyone else to care for them the way I do. Plus, I don't think I could find anyone to care for my special needs child -- it's overwhelming, and has taken me years to get it to a manageable level. I can't believe anyone could do this for me.

I loved my career, and I was good at it. I miss that satisfaction more than I miss the money.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting that so many respondents on this thread work part time. Are you your children's primary caregiver the rest of the time, or do you have childcare full time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work from home, so I have the best of both worlds. I don't want to miss one minute of my child's development, and I have been there for all of his firsts. That said, once he is in school I will definitely pick up more work and be able to invest more time into it. It is VERY difficult to work from home and be a SAHM. Rewarding, but definitely challenging. I feel like I work 24 hours a day sometimes. I work because I have to and because I love what I do.

I actually feel that some people may be better parents BECAUSE they go off to work. The balance can be a very beneficial thing for some and they can provide a good life for their family.

What type of work do you do from home, PP? I'm a SAHM, and when my kids are in elem. school, I would like to work part-time. But I wonder about the summers...if I worked from home then I could also see them a lot in the summer.

I am a photographer and I am very lucky that it is a super flexible job!

[Anonymous]

I work full time because I need to house and feed my child. I kind of wish I could say I didn't need the money, but I need every penny.

[Anonymous]

I want to work. I have a wonderful job right now, that allows me to come to work everyday and gain excellent experience and learn new things.

Admittedly we would have to change our lifestyle without a second income.

I also think that having a successful hard working career mom is a good example for DS

[Anonymous]

"that sucks that the SAHM crowd you hung out with were so uninspiring! There are lots of cool, smart, curious SAHMs in DC and we are dying to meet other cool moms whose lives don't revolve around which sippy cup to get and when lily pulitzer is on sale in bethesda!!! "

I have yet to meet one who doesn't have a G&T kid. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Anonymous]

Working Dads: Do you HAVE to or WANT To?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many respondents on this thread work part time. Are you your children's primary caregiver the rest of the time, or do you have childcare full time?

I pay for childcare FT to have the flexibility at work, but I don't leave my child in daycare FT.

My core hours are 9-3 T-Fri, but basically as long as I work 24hrs, it does not matter when I work. For awhile I was working 9-5 3 days a week, but I prefer the 4 shorter days instead. Too much to scramble around at 5PM.

i can also WFH, so today I'm keeping my child home with me because it is going to be a really slow day being the start of a major holiday weekend.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in smelly rags. I want to work until I die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many respondents on this thread work part time. Are you your children's primary caregiver the rest of the time, or do you have childcare full time?

I pay for childcare FT to have the flexibility at work, but I don't leave my child in daycare FT.

My core hours are 9-3 T-Fri, but basically as long as I work 24hrs, it does not matter when I work. For awhile I was working 9-5 3 days a week, but I prefer the 4 shorter days instead. Too much to scramble around at 5PM.

i can also WFH, so today I'm keeping my child home with me because it is going to be a really slow day being the start of a major holiday weekend.

SAHM mom here. That is my fantasy schedule. What do you do? I am having a hard time imagining working in DC without being a workaholic (before I was at a consulting firm where leaving at 5:30 was frowned upon!). Also, do you break even on childcare costs this way, with onoly 24 hrs/week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working Dads: Do you HAVE to or WANT To?

EXCELLENT POINT!