Feel free, FIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

how is not making coffee "going out of your way to damage a relationship"? This is really a strange comment.

She is taking care of a newborn for crying out loud. Thank goodness all my and DH's family gets this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

Hope you and the PP don't have daughters that you are teaching to bend over and take from any and every man in their life. Pathetic.

Actually, I do have a daughter. She is quite independent and happy. She has good relationships with friends and her boyfriend. She also has a great relationship with her boyfriend’s family. It is actually my daughter who lives by the mantra that sometimes it is better to be kind than right. I am so proud of her.

So you would tell your immediately postpartum daughter to get her bleeding ass up and make a man a cup of coffee? WOW, Mom. You are awful and disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Um, FIL damaged relationship first, by making an unreasonable demand and then having the audacity to bitch about his poor DIL where she could hear him. Why does he get a pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

Hope you and the PP don't have daughters that you are teaching to bend over and take from any and every man in their life. Pathetic.

Actually, I do have a daughter. She is quite independent and happy. She has good relationships with friends and her boyfriend. She also has a great relationship with her boyfriend’s family. It is actually my daughter who lives by the mantra that sometimes it is better to be kind than right. I am so proud of her.

So you would tell your immediately postpartum daughter to get her bleeding ass up and make a man a cup of coffee? WOW, Mom. You are awful and disgusting.

Did I say that? Nope. Being kind doesn’t mean she has to make the coffee.
And, I find your comment interesting since you do not even know me.

[Anonymous]

Hey FIL, there's a McD's around the corner. While you're there, would you mind picking up a Carmel FRAP for me? Thanks so much!

*Exit left*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

how is not making coffee "going out of your way to damage a relationship"? This is really a strange comment.

She is taking care of a newborn for crying out loud. Thank goodness all my and DH's family gets this.

Not making the coffee is not the issue. It is the advice the OP is getting from some of the people here.
Were she to say or do some of the things suggested, she would likely irrevocably damage the relationship.
I guess some people here just think it is more important to be passive aggressive, or outright bitchy, then to approach things in a reasonable manner.

[Anonymous]

OP, let your husband handle it. He can tell his dad to make his own coffee or make a new pot for him. I know my parents and could make that call.

[Anonymous]

all this over coffee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

Buying a Keurig she doesn't want or need is not reasonable. Her going further out of her way is not reasonable. His behavior is not reasonable. Women should not be encouraged to cater to unreasonable men.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

how is not making coffee "going out of your way to damage a relationship"? This is really a strange comment.

She is taking care of a newborn for crying out loud. Thank goodness all my and DH's family gets this.

Not making the coffee is not the issue. It is the advice the OP is getting from some of the people here.
Were she to say or do some of the things suggested, she would likely irrevocably damage the relationship.
I guess some people here just think it is more important to be passive aggressive, or outright bitchy, then to approach things in a reasonable manner.

[Anonymous]

I would tell him that you're bleeding right now and also have to tend to the baby. Then leave the room. He will never ask again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him that you're bleeding right now and also have to tend to the baby. Then leave the room. He will never ask again

Yaaassss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, FIL damaged relationship first, by making an unreasonable demand and then having the audacity to bitch about his poor DIL where she could hear him. Why does he get a pass?

Because he's old. Or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Nope. Why would you create environmental waste, spend extra money, or use a piece of equipment you don't want/need to cater to a FIL who is acting like a spoiled brat?

WHY should OP go out of her way to further accommodate this obnoxious man?

NP, but i'll chime in. It's very tough for people to change after a certain age, they are more inflexible. If there are small things like this that you can do, to help avoid conflict, you do them. Yes he is completely wrong, but believe me it's not worth the drama.

Another card-carrying member of Doormats R Us

Hardly a doormat. I used to be very outspoken and assertive. I have tweaked my approach a little, and find that I still get what I want without damaging the relationship. Clearly OP should not make extra cups of coffee or cater more to FIL. But you know, if getting a Keurig, or doing some other thing that does not require a lot of time of energy can make him feel more welcome, she should do it. There are bound to be be bigger things, where she will really need to draw hard lines, this just isn't one of them in my opinion.

We could be friends. I, too, believe that you don’t go out of your way to damage a relationship. Sure, the other person may be “in the wrong,” but sometimes it is just better to be kind than to be right. It makes for a better world.

how is not making coffee "going out of your way to damage a relationship"? This is really a strange comment.

She is taking care of a newborn for crying out loud. Thank goodness all my and DH's family gets this.

Not making the coffee is not the issue. It is the advice the OP is getting from some of the people here.
Were she to say or do some of the things suggested, she would likely irrevocably damage the relationship.
I guess some people here just think it is more important to be passive aggressive, or outright bitchy, then to approach things in a reasonable manner.

She has been reasonable enough as it is by not taking the pot and bashing him over the head when he had nerve to complain she wouldn't make him another pot of coffee.

OP I would let your husband handle his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, FIL damaged relationship first, by making an unreasonable demand and then having the audacity to bitch about his poor DIL where she could hear him. Why does he get a pass?

Because he's old. Or something.

Because he's a man. Young women host/serve older men. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:all this over coffee?

Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something! If it's not one thing, it's another! If your lazy father-in-law won't make his own coffee while you're bleeding from your cooch, or your MIL wants to kidnap your baby.

-Rosanne Rosannadanna